How did we get here?

I've been thinking about the night in June of 1993 that I found out he was coming. It was the days before texting, in fact cell phones were a luxury, and even if you had one, it was such a brick you left it in the car. And Neal was at a Stanley Cup game (foreshadowing?) when I got the news. So being the impatient woman that I am, I think he was the 7th or 8th person to find out he was going to be a dad. Which as it turns out was OK, since his reaction was somewhat repressed.

We were going to wait to be surprised to find out "who" this baby would be. Neal was adamant in his desire to hear the doctor say, "It's a ..." But despite the fact I had "heard the Lord" promise me a daughter a year before, as I sat in my front yard quietly that night waiting for my mother to show up with four more pregnancy tests (just to make sure), in my spirit, I knew I was carrying my firstborn son. And sure enough, just about 8 months later, this quiet little creature came into our lives. "It's a boy."


Nothing about Jacob came on strong. I didn't go into labor, a little leak required induction. After 11 hours of labor he showed up just about dinner time (if only I had seen the pattern coming). When he got here he was as quiet as a church mouse. He frightened me in fact, and I frightened Neal as I kept saying, "cry, cry, cry..." The doctor assured us he was pink and perfect, he just didn't have much to complain about, till the doctor pinched him to assuage this first time mommy's fears. .

Perhaps as payback for Neal being down the list for the announcement of his of his fatherhood, I was not the first to hold my son. In fact within the first five minutes of his life the delivery room was filled with 20 of my closest family and friends, and they all got their hands on Jake before I did. Everyone loved Jake, and not much has changed since then. Everyone still loves Jake.

He was an easy baby. Most of the video footage of his early days is of him sleeping, he slept something like 18 hours a day for the first two years of his life (and come to think of it, he still likes his sleep.) Feed him or pop a pacifier in his mouth, and he was content... that hasn't changed much either. (Though he has traded a pacifier for things like sweatshirt ties and pen tips.)

He was never in a hurry to get anywhere, always passive in nature. At nine months he still wasn't crawling, Neal and I would put him at one end of the hallway and do everything ew could to get him to crawl to us at the other. He would just laugh at us and lay down on his side. He loved cruising in his walker though, and when he was about 11 months old he decided to bypass crawling and move on to walking.

I remember the day he was cruising around our kitchen table, careful to move from chair to chair without letting go. I say in one of them and bent down to kiss his head. He touched the side of my face, looked into my eyes and patted my cheek. "Mama," he said. It was his first word. And I love that he still calls me that 17 years later.

It was one week later, 11 months old to the day that he learned two important skills, drinking a milkshake through a straw and walking. I let him have a sip of my Foster's milkshake and then walked back across the room with it. Jake immediately stood up and walked over to the milkshake like he'd been doing it all along. He earned another sip. Maybe if I had brought the milkshake out sooner he would have made his way crawling down the hall. I guess we'll never know.

There were no terrible twos, not trying threes, but when he was four there was a brief season of apparent alien abduction, but even naughty for Jake was better than the average kid. So began a pattern of short difficult season about every four years, but nothing I could ever complain about with real sincerity. Jake was always a good kid. He's still a good kid.

Except tomorrow, in the eyes of the law at least, he becomes a man. How on earth did we get here so quickly?

If I am honest, there have been lots of "manhood" glimpses over the years. I'm not talking about the deeper voice, or the spotty beard (or the body odor) but I am talking about the honor, respect, kindness, leadership, compassion, maturity, purpose - all the markings of a good man, a godly man, that come through more and more all the time. They aren't things he does, they are the things he has become.

This last year hit some hard patches, but Jake has come through them better, stronger and closer to God. I'm proud to be his mom. I don't feel old enough to be the mother of an 18-year-old, but here I am.

I don't know what the future holds. He's recently traded his ambition for acting and directing for what he believes may be a full-time call to ministry. I honestly don't know, but I see him drawing closer to God, and am confident that the Lord will direct him. I have hope for Jake's future, and confidence he will glorify God in it.

I don't know how we got here, or how we got here so quickly. As much as I would like to be able to rewind to the days where I could scoop Jacob up in my lap, or hold him in my arms and sleep- I am excited about watching him seek God's plan for his life. I am proud to be his mom. I am proud of my son. But I can still hardly believe he's going to be 18 tomorrow.


HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY JACOB!!!

It's Monday

Jake has started his last semester of high school. I can still recall the fear and trepidation of choosing the school where he would go to kindergarten. Seems like yesterday. Except for those two other bundles of joy that came along and have filled the last two decades to the brim with fun and excitement.

Sent Ethan off to Astro Camp this morning for three days. I love that my kids always leave with such confidence. I hope he has a great time. There is one personality conflict in the classroom that I'm a little concerned about, but there will always be personality conflicts in life, and Ethan is learning about dealing with them while he is young, I guess. That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Today is the big day when Victoria finds out she is in the school play for certain. Because of someone's generosity to sponsor her participation, I already know she is in, but we both get to find out the details of what that means today. Everyone has multiple rolls, and watching her through the audition and callback process, I am looking forward to watching her blossom over the next couple months preparing for the performance. I guess Jake isn't the only actor in the family.

He's already started rehearsals for his play that will be performed in the beginning of March. His last show in high school. It's so bittersweet. I wish he had joined drama sooner. After watching his debut last year in The Crucible, I was blown away by his stage presence, and I am so looking forward to seeing him on stage again.

Ethan is contemplating a spring sport. He was so good at city level soccer, I wonder if he can make the team competing with kids who have played in the JUSA league and on club soccer teams. I hope so, because he loves to play.

Victoria and I will be going to Sacramento with her class in May, and so I'm trying to get my weight down and my stamina up for the very bust 3 day trip with a lot of walking and busyness. Neal went on the trip with both our boys, and I have been waiting a long time for my turn with my girl.

So as I sit her and I look at the calendar and see this Monday that kicks off so much activity, Jake will be 18 in less than two weeks, just nine days later E will be 11, my birthday, Easter, all the pre-graduation activities. I know this last semester of high school for Jake, E's last semester before middle school, is going to go by so fast, and soon this Monday will be one of many forgotten days in the past. It's one I thionk I would like to put the breaks on, actually.

On second thought, E's going to be gone for the next three days, so maybe I would like to hurry towards Thursday, but then for sure, I would slow down time if I could.

Mean Mom and Proud of It!

I read an article this morning from the OC Register by a "regular columnist" who prides herself on her poor dressing skills. I'm not being a snot, "frumpy" is how she describes herself. In this particular article, she was lamenting the poor behavior of her children. She had called a strike of sorts because her kids were rude and badly behaved. She was tired of being their "maid"- unappreciated and underpaid. Apparently they also give her a lot of grief just when she wants to spend time with them, and she made comment about the fact she can't even talk to them without them starting to text their friends halfway through their conversation (or her diatribe, whichever the case may be.)

Um, hello? Am I the only one who sees the giant blaring problem screaming out to be reckoned with?? If not, let me spell it out for you....

There is this word that I grew up with, and I suspect that many, if not most, folks my age also grew up with that has become very unpopular these days. It's considered unloving, unkind, even (gasp) unfair! And it's a word I use on a consistent basis, it works REALLY well at my house, and so I offer you up this incredible wisdom, so you can try it out yourself, are you ready? Here it comes....

NO.

It's like the Swiss army knife of parenting, handy for a thousand different needs, it fits right there in your "pocket" and if you just pull it out, you'll find it works WONDERS! Wonders, I tell you!

NO. No you cannot sit at my kitchen table and text your friends during dinner.

NO. No you cannot sit and watch TV rather than do your homework.

NO. No you cannot get down from the table until you finish your dinner.

NO. You can't go out this weekend because you have a C- in History.

Why? They might ask. They'll probably ask. They will definitely ask. And I am all for the rational explanation (though the C- in History thing seems self-explanatory) but sometimes, children just won't be rationalized with. They don't really care if you have a good reason, sinful little creatures that they are, they want what they want. So in those situations, I have another handy little tool for you to try. Ready? Here it is:

Because I said so.

What? That's so unfair! You know what? LIFE is unfair. Better that your kids learn it now. If you send them out into the real world actually believing they are the center of the universe (because you made them the center of yours) then you will have done your children a HUGE disservice. Their college professor isn't going to buy into the need for another couple days on their big assignment. And their future boss isn't going to give a rat if they think they know best, because in that world, not conforming to his "my way or the highway" mentality really could result in your 25-year-old jobless and living on your couch. And don't even get me started about future spouses who will someday live with the slob who can't get their socks in the laundry basket. And they can't look forward to the "cleaner house someday" reprieve you're holding onto now, they will be stuck with the helpless slob you created until death or divorce. Stop cleaning up after your kids!

And while I am at it, here are a few other pet peeves words to the wise:

Don't build your 4th grader's missions model. They didn't learn anything from sitting in the corner watching you do their homework.

In the big picture of life, a hard earned C will do more for their character and their learning process than making the honor roll because you stood over them like a gestapo making sure their homework was done every day...

or did their assignments for them.

Teach your kids to work for what they want in life. My 17 year old is about to enter into a very busy season with the school play. Does that get him out of his chores and responsibilities at home? Heck no! In life if you want to do the "get to's" you've got to learn to keep your "have to's" in life.

Guess what people, PRIVILEGE is birthed out of RESPONSIBILITY. If you get that backwards, you're going to be battling with your kids for a lifetime, and watching them to struggle their whole lives a lesson they should have learned at home. "You can't have everything you want!"

I do for my kids. But I don't do what they should be doing for themselves. There are exceptions, I probably will help Jake pick up some slack on chores while he has rehearsal five nights a week, but I don't expect him to count on that. What I do expect is for his siblings to pitch in and help as well, that's what families do.

And did I mention that one? "Family" need always supersedes the individual need. We've had to say no to things for one because it hindered the whole. It happens. (Let me say again, children are NOT the center of the universe, don't make them the center of yours.)

Let them be little, yes I get that. But the "little" time we have with them is a time to teach them and train them and prepare them for life. Life is made up of choices and consequences (not all of which are bad). Life is about learning to die to self and care for others. As parents, we are their teachers and trainers. If a track coach was letting his runners sit on the sidelines and watch him train, while they ate popcorn and candy and never actually got out there and trained for themselves, they would never win a single meet. Likewise, our children will never "meet" the challenges of life and find success unless we teach them to train for adversity!

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it
Proverbs 22:6

Being a Parent I$ Hard The$e Day$

One of the things$ I find most frustrating the$e day$ a$ a parent i$ the difficulty of keeping the kid$ involved in their intere$ts becau$e everything i$ $o very expen$ive. I don't remember my parent$ inve$ting quite as much money into parenting a$ I feel like I do.

$ports that we used to play out in the $treet with large group$ of our friend$ are now organized and co$t cold hard ca$h. And the better your child i$, the more it co$t$. My Ethan i$ a natural athlete and loved and enjoyed paying $occer, but because all I was willing to commit financially and timewi$e wa$ to pay for City League $ports, I now hear/ under$tand that I have probably thwarted hi$ dreams of playing in high $chool, because he won't be able to compete with the kids from familie$ who could afford to put them in not ju$t league $occer, but $occer club$ and traveling team$. Where do parent$ come up with thi$ kind of di$po$able income?

My daughter want$ to participate in the $chool play at her private Christian School. (And yes, I pay for that too, but some investments are worth it to me.) But if the kid$ want to participate in extracurricular activitie$, that co$t$ me big buck$ too. Ethan wa$ on the football team, and that co$t me $150 for the $ea$on plu$ the co$t of a couple uniform piece$. If he want$ to play $occer in the $pring, that will co$t me another $150, a$$uming he make$ the team. The $150 I $pent on football parlatyed into about 5 minute$ of playing time for the whole $ea$on. (Fru$$$$trating...) But that'$ the co$t of teaching your child how to $upport hi$ team, apparently, but I digre$$.

Back to the $pring play my 10-year-old daughter want$ to participate in. It'$ $350 for the privilege, plu$ 15 hour$ of volunteer time, unle$$ I want to "buy out" of the time commitment for... you gue$$ed it, more money, another $100 to be $pecific! OUCH! I am a mom who make$ a lot of $acrifice to keep my kid$ in private $chool, and it feel$ like I am alway$ giving more! Like the $240 for 5th grade A$tro Camp and the $1600 trip for my 4th grader and I to go to $acramento! (I am beyond thankful for my parent$ who try to help out with $ome of the$e expen$e$, but their fund$ are limited too!) I'm digre$$ing again. Back to the play. I have a tough deci$ion to make. When I told my daughter I didn't know if we could afford it, there were a TON of tear$. $o while I'm thinking about it, $he'$ working on the monologue for her audition IF we go tomorrow afternoon. And you know what? $he'$ REALLY good, but I keep thinking about how her 4th grade $tatu$ i$ likely to put her in the back row of $ome 5 minute en$emble piece, and I will have paid just a$ much money a$ the mom who'$ child i$ center $tage throughout the whole $how. I have to confe$$ after a whole $ea$on of rooting other people'$ kids on on the football field for $150, I'm not $ure I have the moral character to $it through 4 performance$ of other people'$ children on $tage for $450- which I am ab$olutely certain doe$ NOT include the price of the ticket$ I will have to buy to actually $it in $aid audience.

What'$ a mom to do?

Did I al$o mention my olde$t i$ graduating from high $chool? I have not purcha$ed any $enior picture$ yet though, becau$e... I CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! And there are tho$e pe$ky announcement$ to be paid for a$ well. Not mention that i$ the boy who i$ going on a missions trip this summer and he has to raise $1400 for that as well! He'$ in a $chool play too, but thankfully in the public high school system, all I have to pay for is the ticket$ to $ee the $how. Thankful for small favor$.

I don't know how the familie$ who have their four kid$ in five different activitie$ each even manage. It'$ crazy, I tell ya! I $ure mi$$ the days when all a kid'$ activity and entertainment was only a$ far a$ the $idewalk, and most of it wa$ free!

Christian Parenting 101 - What They Read

This is a HUGE pet peeve for me. So I am thrilled to hear a solid pastor like Mark Driscoll speaking about it. Check it out.



Now head over and have a look at your bookshelf, what are you letting your kids read?

Dedicated in 2012

It's been a crazy ten days since I last blogged - the post-Christmas recuperation (though we are still suffering from decorations, the tree is gone, but everything else is still up at our house... except the outside lights that never actually got up this year...)

We rang in the New Year, but in a different way. Our tradition of New Year's Eve service was yet another thing we quietly grieved the absence of- though it was easier than some of the things we have mourned before. We did maintain our tradition of having the neighbors come down and watched the New Year come in. A few other friends dropped by for a short time, but it was just the same two families that has been for at least half a decade when the clock struck twelve. 5 of the 6 kids made it till midnight and we banged the pots and popped poppers, threw little exploding things at one another's feet, and then everyone was home and in bed by 12:30. We had church in the morning at 9 so everyone rushed to bed.

2012 seems to be rightly prioritized so far. My Jacob has started the reading plan I did (and successfully completed woohoo!) in 2011. So far, 6 days in, he's right on track. Ethan and Victoria are both doing daily devotionals on their new Kindles, and though often it's at bedtime that they remember they haven't done it that day, they are getting them done. Ethan has been spending a lot of time reading his Bible and both kids have at one point or another started discussions about what they've read in the Word or their devotionals. (Sarah Young's Jesus Calling, 365 Devotionals for Kids.)

As much as I enjoyed last year's reading plan, the read through the Bible in a year from Unlocking the Bible, I felt impressed to mix things up and do something different this year. I've decided I will make my plans one quarter at a time.

I'm starting off with a 90 plan to read through all of the New Testament. I'm continuing the 100 Verse Challenge (see the link at the top of the right column on this page) which ends next September. I know for the fourth quarter after I finish the Challenge I intend to do an intensive study of James and try to memorize the whole book. The 2nd and 3rd quarters of this year are still wild cards on the reading plans. But I know this, I will be in the Word every day. Last year's commitment to that has had an amazing impact on my life, and renewed my passion for the Word.

Anyway, but those are bridges to cross. Right now in this first quarter I am doing the 90 day plan. It's several chapters a day, but the 7th day of each week (Saturdays for me) but my hope is to stay on track, and I will find something else to wade into on Saturdays.

This week I have been doing all of my reading in the morning. I like it, but we'll see how it holds up when the kids go back to school next week and the schedule tightens up.

In addition to my Bible reading I am reading three other books:

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala - It's a book about prayer (an area I know I need to grow in) that was recommended by a friend. Cymbala is the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle church and it tells alot about the radical move of Christ in his church after as a body they made a commitment to prayer. One of my favorite quotes (that I will now misquote by memory) is "You can tell how popular a pastor is by Sunday morning attendance, how popular his ministry is by Sunday night attendance, but you can tell how popular Jesus is by how many people attend the prayer meetings." Now THAT is something to chew on.

The other two books I am reading through are by a man named Gene Edwards. I ended 2011 by reading his book A Tale of Three Kings. It was a powerful and moving book. And I am starting 2012 with two additional booksof his:

Living Close to God (When You're Not Good At It): A Spiritual Life That Takes You Deeper than Daily Devotions - Amazon.com offers this decription: In Living Close to God (When You're Not Good at It) you will discover that loving God means much more than doing your best to serve Him. You will find ways to start your day with Christ, beginning with your first conscious thought in the morning. You will learn how to fellowship with Him during even the most demanding days. And when you go to the Scriptures, you will talk with Him in a two-way conversation—just as His first followers did. I find myself going through this book carefully and slowly.

I'm also reading a second book by him (ironically as though it was a devotion) called 100 Days in the Secret Place. It's actually a collection he put together of three Christians from the seventeenth century: Michael Molinos, Madam Guyon, and Francois Fenelon. Edwards refers to the writings as lamposts, and I already see them shining light in some areas God needs and desires to work in my heart. Every night as I lay in bed I re-read the previous nights's reading and move forward to the next. I find myself lying in bed to some heavy conviction. But it's good, God is doing a work.

We're excited about what 2012 has ahead, and I am happy to report as a family, we are focused where we ought to be to allow the Lord to do the work he desires.

2 Days After Christmas

2 days after Christmas and it's clearly plain to see,
That the Christmas countdown didn't work out for me.

There was shopping to be done, and wrapping gifts up too,
I didn't even get to send out a Christmas card to you.

We had to have a birthday party for our girl because she just turned ten,
Of all the times to lose my voice, the best time wasn't then.

But sickness plagued our family, at times I couldn't catch my breath,
Aches, and pains and fever, I felt like walking death.

Still the shopping was done, the tree was decorated too,
Doesn't matter if you're sick, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

Daddy was under the weather, but the kids fought off the sick,
We all just made the best of it, even watched a Christmas flick.

Christmas Eve started early, the kids' competition was on,
They stood over my bed, trying to win the gift at dawn.

Christmas Eve evening was without tradition, so I had for the fam surprise,
Our new church has no service, so instead we went to Toy Story on Ice.

Our family stayed determined, to make this Christmas fun,
And by the end of Christmas, that's exactly what we'd done!

My favorite tradition, homemade breakfast by my Dad,
They're the best cinnamon rolls anyone of you've ever had.

Christmas was on a Sunday, so we got to go to service at our church,
I think every Christmas should be on a Sunday, somebody quick do some research.

We all got funny t-shirts from Grandma (she's actually mom to me,)
She had a blast shopping for funny, and for me she bought three.

The DePriest five didn't open our gifts until very late in the day,
But it took off a lot of pressure, I think we may keep doing it that way.

Jacob got an iPod, he didn't expect to see,
He really had no idea it was wrapped under our tree.

The younger kids asked for Kindles, one each for E and V,
We're hoping it will kindle a love in them to read.

We five did our not so secret stockings, a fun gift exchange,
Some gifts were funny, some useful, a couple just plain strange.

As the family just relaxed, playing with new toys and a video game,
I started work on dinner, our favorite holiday menu, always the same.

Christmas dinner was yummy, the prime rib was a perfect pink,
With asparagus, potatoes, fresh berries and ice cold milk to drink.

The holiday was beautiful, celebrating our Savior's birth,
Celebrating the night that Jesus came on the scene on earth.

We didn't overcharge or overspend, or buy crud we didn't need,
(There's still gift cards tho, but at least that crud is "free".)

Yesterday was kick back, golf for Neal, jammie day for the kids and me,
That's how I think the day after Christmas should always be.

Today's a little rougher, Neal's fighting a bee swarm out in our yard,
He said yard work relaxes him, I don't think he thought it'd be that hard.

I guess, the unexpected bee swarm declares this Christmas done,
But I say with a heart of gratitude, it was a lot of fun.

By Diana DePriest
© December 27, 2011

10 Days til Christmas

And although we have a tree
It's still not done up pretty....

December is such a busy month. We got our tree last Saturday afternoon, and I put the lights on it that night, but not a single ornament is in place. Decorating the tree is a family affair. Neal and the kids do it while I watch (don't judge, the lights are my department, remember?)

Sunday didn't work because our oldest was at Disneyland, and Neal was battling a flood in the yard because our water main sprung a leak. Monday was gymnastics, Tuesday was fellowship and tacos and a late night bicycle buying and building adventure. Last night was filled with birthday celebrations, tonight was the younger kids Christmas program at school. Sigh... I'm tired. Tomorrow the oldest is heading for a party at youth group, and the rest of us are headed to have dinner with some new friends. The tree will have been lit but naked for a week.

Saturday is our one open day this week. Open after Neal gets off work that is. So it's the day for decorating, cookie baking, candy making, stocking shopping and all other things Christmas. I wonder how many hours there are in that day exactly? I fear not enough. Did I mention I haven't even done any shopping yet? Maybe I'll do that Saturday too, because Sunday is our church's Christmas service, and then Victoria's birthday party....

'Tis the season to be busy.... but full of joy in the Lord!!!

11 Days til Christmas

My True Love gave to me...
A precious little girl baby...

Ten years ago today my "expected Christmas baby" came eleven days early. She came hard and fast and has been taking the world by storm ever since. I can't believe a whole decade has gone by since that day. It scares me to think how fast the next decade might go by.

I love my baby girl. She told me the other night that she's a "mama's girl." I hope she always feels that way.

We've had a fun day celebrating our girl. She has a new bicycle and a special journal that opens by voice command. We had a fun dinner at PF Chang's and peppermint chocolate cake at my parents. Her party with friends will be on Sunday. I'm treasuring every little girl moment left as I am beginning to see the young woman blossoming inside.

Happy 10th birthday to my sweet Victoria!!!

On the 12th Day of Christmas

I want to give to thee....

a little Christmas fun you can watch for free....



(We'll see if the countdown actually pans out!)