Oh Sweet Character

I LOVED being a soccer mom. Now mind you, we never chose to play at the higher competition levels. As the mom of three I refused to put family at the mercy of practices and games for any one kid. So we always did things like city league, because it meant the commitment was mild enough it wouldn't run over my family. Ethan would have one soccer practice a week, and a game on Saturday, V would have her day of gymnastics, and once upon a time Jake even had karate a couple days a week- three kids, 5 obligations, 7 days in a week. Totally manageable.

BUT it meant I wasn't keeping my kid competitive. He is naturally gifted, and definitely has an inclination for sports, but he just hasn't ever been as developed as kids who are practicing 3-5 days a week and playing games all weekend long. Now mind you, I stand by my decision, I still think sports should be a leisure activity when you're ten, and more about fun than purpose, but apparently I have missed the point of the masses. And my kid has been somewhat left behind (and downside, he may be a little thicker in the middle than he might be otherwise.)

But this year he has finally arrived at the age and stage where he can play competitive sports through school. In the Christian education system, they have a "JV" team option that means in 5th grade you can join the team. So Ethan went out for football this year.

Can I just tell you that the "Try Out" process was tough! I don't know about the actual process on the field for Ethan, but the waiting to find out whether or not his name got on the roster, that stressed this mama out! Mostly because the thought of disappointment in my son's eyes, in particular THIS son, killed me. And true to my nature, as we drove to school morning I made the speech, relentlessly, "You did your best, that's all you can do... you're only a 5th grader, don't be disappointed if you don't make it, there's always next year..." It's not that I didn't believe in him, but I wanted to prepare him for the worst. I'd rather be happily surprised than devastatingly disappointed. (I know, who wouldn't?)

I was in a bigger hurry to get upstairs and see the roster than he was. I may have sounded a little like a drill sergeant getting him to lead the way. Can I just say, it would have been nice if the list had been alphabetized (and if it had been made by team moms instead of coaches, I'm betting it would have.) But it wasn't, so we ran our fingers pretty far down the list before the huge way of relief came in and the joy burst out! We were E was on the team!


I'm still finding myself to have to do a lot of adjusting from the sports and rec mentality vs. serious competition. We've had two games so far, and this mom struggles with the lack of "everyone plays" and "equal time for equal effort." He now puts in the 4 days a week of after school practice (for the record, much more manageable), but there are boys who play all four quarters and there is my kid who who spends maybe all told about 4 minutes on the field on the kick return team just long enough to watch the ball fly over his head and then running back off to the sidelines.

But I'm proud of my kid who says with his own great pride, "I'm a substitute!" And so I watch to see if he is really happy supporting his team from the sidelines all the while trying to refrain from asking any questions or make any comments that indicate I don't think it's all that fair that he's not getting more time. I keep trying to remind myself, there is character being built in my kid while he stands on the sidelines supporting his team. But I can't lie, I keep waiting with bated breath for a moment and opportunity for him to get out there and get in the game.

Of course, I think the stars could learn a little character too, realizing they are part of a team and maybe doing little sideline standing of their own rooting on the weaker members, realizing winning isn't necessarily everything. But maybe not everyone feels that way. Truth be told, the team is 0-2, so running the better athletes ragged playing the whole game isn't working out all that successfully anyway, but I'm not the coach, I'm just a mom. And I'm a mom who knows she should do her best to keep her mouth shut.

So, I will build a little character of my own I hope, as I sit on the sidelines too, supporting the team, rooting "Go Vanguards!" no matter whose children are actually out on the field. But I'm not going to lie, I'll be waiting anxiously for the moment #99 gets out there and gets his shot. And his #1 fan will root him all the way, even if we don't make the four minute mark. Go Ethan!