DePriest Days

It's Monday

2012-01-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

Jake has started his last semester of high school. I can still recall the fear and trepidation of choosing the school where he would go to kindergarten. Seems like yesterday. Except for those two other bundles of joy that came along and have filled the last two decades to the brim with fun and excitement.

Sent Ethan off to Astro Camp this morning for three days. I love that my kids always leave with such confidence. I hope he has a great time. There is one personality conflict in the classroom that I'm a little concerned about, but there will always be personality conflicts in life, and Ethan is learning about dealing with them while he is young, I guess. That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Today is the big day when Victoria finds out she is in the school play for certain. Because of someone's generosity to sponsor her participation, I already know she is in, but we both get to find out the details of what that means today. Everyone has multiple rolls, and watching her through the audition and callback process, I am looking forward to watching her blossom over the next couple months preparing for the performance. I guess Jake isn't the only actor in the family.

He's already started rehearsals for his play that will be performed in the beginning of March. His last show in high school. It's so bittersweet. I wish he had joined drama sooner. After watching his debut last year in The Crucible, I was blown away by his stage presence, and I am so looking forward to seeing him on stage again.

Ethan is contemplating a spring sport. He was so good at city level soccer, I wonder if he can make the team competing with kids who have played in the JUSA league and on club soccer teams. I hope so, because he loves to play.

Victoria and I will be going to Sacramento with her class in May, and so I'm trying to get my weight down and my stamina up for the very bust 3 day trip with a lot of walking and busyness. Neal went on the trip with both our boys, and I have been waiting a long time for my turn with my girl.

So as I sit her and I look at the calendar and see this Monday that kicks off so much activity, Jake will be 18 in less than two weeks, just nine days later E will be 11, my birthday, Easter, all the pre-graduation activities. I know this last semester of high school for Jake, E's last semester before middle school, is going to go by so fast, and soon this Monday will be one of many forgotten days in the past. It's one I thionk I would like to put the breaks on, actually.

On second thought, E's going to be gone for the next three days, so maybe I would like to hurry towards Thursday, but then for sure, I would slow down time if I could.

Mean Mom and Proud of It!

2012-01-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

I read an article this morning from the OC Register by a "regular columnist" who prides herself on her poor dressing skills. I'm not being a snot, "frumpy" is how she describes herself. In this particular article, she was lamenting the poor behavior of her children. She had called a strike of sorts because her kids were rude and badly behaved. She was tired of being their "maid"- unappreciated and underpaid. Apparently they also give her a lot of grief just when she wants to spend time with them, and she made comment about the fact she can't even talk to them without them starting to text their friends halfway through their conversation (or her diatribe, whichever the case may be.)

Um, hello? Am I the only one who sees the giant blaring problem screaming out to be reckoned with?? If not, let me spell it out for you....

There is this word that I grew up with, and I suspect that many, if not most, folks my age also grew up with that has become very unpopular these days. It's considered unloving, unkind, even (gasp) unfair! And it's a word I use on a consistent basis, it works REALLY well at my house, and so I offer you up this incredible wisdom, so you can try it out yourself, are you ready? Here it comes....

NO.

It's like the Swiss army knife of parenting, handy for a thousand different needs, it fits right there in your "pocket" and if you just pull it out, you'll find it works WONDERS! Wonders, I tell you!

NO. No you cannot sit at my kitchen table and text your friends during dinner.

NO. No you cannot sit and watch TV rather than do your homework.

NO. No you cannot get down from the table until you finish your dinner.

NO. You can't go out this weekend because you have a C- in History.

Why? They might ask. They'll probably ask. They will definitely ask. And I am all for the rational explanation (though the C- in History thing seems self-explanatory) but sometimes, children just won't be rationalized with. They don't really care if you have a good reason, sinful little creatures that they are, they want what they want. So in those situations, I have another handy little tool for you to try. Ready? Here it is:

Because I said so.

What? That's so unfair! You know what? LIFE is unfair. Better that your kids learn it now. If you send them out into the real world actually believing they are the center of the universe (because you made them the center of yours) then you will have done your children a HUGE disservice. Their college professor isn't going to buy into the need for another couple days on their big assignment. And their future boss isn't going to give a rat if they think they know best, because in that world, not conforming to his "my way or the highway" mentality really could result in your 25-year-old jobless and living on your couch. And don't even get me started about future spouses who will someday live with the slob who can't get their socks in the laundry basket. And they can't look forward to the "cleaner house someday" reprieve you're holding onto now, they will be stuck with the helpless slob you created until death or divorce. Stop cleaning up after your kids!

And while I am at it, here are a few other ~~pet peeves~~ words to the wise:

Don't build your 4th grader's missions model. They didn't learn anything from sitting in the corner watching you do their homework.

In the big picture of life, a hard earned C will do more for their character and their learning process than making the honor roll because you stood over them like a gestapo making sure their homework was done every day...

or did their assignments for them.

Teach your kids to work for what they want in life. My 17 year old is about to enter into a very busy season with the school play. Does that get him out of his chores and responsibilities at home? Heck no! In life if you want to do the "get to's" you've got to learn to keep your "have to's" in life.

Guess what people, PRIVILEGE is birthed out of RESPONSIBILITY. If you get that backwards, you're going to be battling with your kids for a lifetime, and watching them to struggle their whole lives a lesson they should have learned at home. "You can't have everything you want!"

I do for my kids. But I don't do what they should be doing for themselves. There are exceptions, I probably will help Jake pick up some slack on chores while he has rehearsal five nights a week, but I don't expect him to count on that. What I do expect is for his siblings to pitch in and help as well, that's what families do.

And did I mention that one? "Family" need always supersedes the individual need. We've had to say no to things for one because it hindered the whole. It happens. (Let me say again, children are NOT the center of the universe, don't make them the center of yours.)

Let them be little, yes I get that. But the "little" time we have with them is a time to teach them and train them and prepare them for life. Life is made up of choices and consequences (not all of which are bad). Life is about learning to die to self and care for others. As parents, we are their teachers and trainers. If a track coach was letting his runners sit on the sidelines and watch him train, while they ate popcorn and candy and never actually got out there and trained for themselves, they would never win a single meet. Likewise, our children will never "meet" the challenges of life and find success unless we teach them to train for adversity!

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it
Proverbs 22:6

Being a Parent I$ Hard The$e Day$

2012-01-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

One of the things$ I find most frustrating the$e day$ a$ a parent i$ the difficulty of keeping the kid$ involved in their intere$ts becau$e everything i$ $o very expen$ive. I don't remember my parent$ inve$ting quite as much money into parenting a$ I feel like I do.

$ports that we used to play out in the $treet with large group$ of our friend$ are now organized and co$t cold hard ca$h. And the better your child i$, the more it co$t$. My Ethan i$ a natural athlete and loved and enjoyed paying $occer, but because all I was willing to commit financially and timewi$e wa$ to pay for City League $ports, I now hear/ under$tand that I have probably thwarted hi$ dreams of playing in high $chool, because he won't be able to compete with the kids from familie$ who could afford to put them in not ju$t league $occer, but $occer club$ and traveling team$. Where do parent$ come up with thi$ kind of di$po$able income?

My daughter want$ to participate in the $chool play at her private Christian School. (And yes, I pay for that too, but some investments are worth it to me.) But if the kid$ want to participate in extracurricular activitie$, that co$t$ me big buck$ too. Ethan wa$ on the football team, and that co$t me $150 for the $ea$on plu$ the co$t of a couple uniform piece$. If he want$ to play $occer in the $pring, that will co$t me another $150, a$$uming he make$ the team. The $150 I $pent on football parlatyed into about 5 minute$ of playing time for the whole $ea$on. (Fru$$$$trating...) But that'$ the co$t of teaching your child how to $upport hi$ team, apparently, but I digre$$.

Back to the $pring play my 10-year-old daughter want$ to participate in. It'$ $350 for the privilege, plu$ 15 hour$ of volunteer time, unle$$ I want to "buy out" of the time commitment for... you gue$$ed it, more money, another $100 to be $pecific! OUCH! I am a mom who make$ a lot of $acrifice to keep my kid$ in private $chool, and it feel$ like I am alway$ giving more! Like the $240 for 5th grade A$tro Camp and the $1600 trip for my 4th grader and I to go to $acramento! (I am beyond thankful for my parent$ who try to help out with $ome of the$e expen$e$, but their fund$ are limited too!) I'm digre$$ing again. Back to the play. I have a tough deci$ion to make. When I told my daughter I didn't know if we could afford it, there were a TON of tear$. $o while I'm thinking about it, $he'$ working on the monologue for her audition IF we go tomorrow afternoon. And you know what? $he'$ REALLY good, but I keep thinking about how her 4th grade $tatu$ i$ likely to put her in the back row of $ome 5 minute en$emble piece, and I will have paid just a$ much money a$ the mom who'$ child i$ center $tage throughout the whole $how. I have to confe$$ after a whole $ea$on of rooting other people'$ kids on on the football field for $150, I'm not $ure I have the moral character to $it through 4 performance$ of other people'$ children on $tage for $450- which I am ab$olutely certain doe$ NOT include the price of the ticket$ I will have to buy to actually $it in $aid audience.

What'$ a mom to do?

Did I al$o mention my olde$t i$ graduating from high $chool? I have not purcha$ed any $enior picture$ yet though, becau$e... I CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! And there are tho$e pe$ky announcement$ to be paid for a$ well. Not mention that i$ the boy who i$ going on a missions trip this summer and he has to raise $1400 for that as well! He'$ in a $chool play too, but thankfully in the public high school system, all I have to pay for is the ticket$ to $ee the $how. Thankful for small favor$.

I don't know how the familie$ who have their four kid$ in five different activitie$ each even manage. It'$ crazy, I tell ya! I $ure mi$$ the days when all a kid'$ activity and entertainment was only a$ far a$ the $idewalk, and most of it wa$ free!

Christian Parenting 101 - What They Read

2012-01-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

This is a HUGE pet peeve for me. So I am thrilled to hear a solid pastor like Mark Driscoll speaking about it. Check it out.

Now head over and have a look at your bookshelf, what are you letting your kids read?

Dedicated in 2012

2012-01-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy ten days since I last blogged - the post-Christmas recuperation (though we are still suffering from decorations, the tree is gone, but everything else is still up at our house... except the outside lights that never actually got up this year...)

We rang in the New Year, but in a different way. Our tradition of New Year's Eve service was yet another thing we quietly grieved the absence of- though it was easier than some of the things we have mourned before. We did maintain our tradition of having the neighbors come down and watched the New Year come in. A few other friends dropped by for a short time, but it was just the same two families that has been for at least half a decade when the clock struck twelve. 5 of the 6 kids made it till midnight and we banged the pots and popped poppers, threw little exploding things at one another's feet, and then everyone was home and in bed by 12:30. We had church in the morning at 9 so everyone rushed to bed.

2012 seems to be rightly prioritized so far. My Jacob has started the reading plan I did (and successfully completed woohoo!) in 2011. So far, 6 days in, he's right on track. Ethan and Victoria are both doing daily devotionals on their new Kindles, and though often it's at bedtime that they remember they haven't done it that day, they are getting them done. Ethan has been spending a lot of time reading his Bible and both kids have at one point or another started discussions about what they've read in the Word or their devotionals. (Sarah Young's Jesus Calling, 365 Devotionals for Kids.)

As much as I enjoyed last year's reading plan, the read through the Bible in a year from Unlocking the Bible, I felt impressed to mix things up and do something different this year. I've decided I will make my plans one quarter at a time.

I'm starting off with a 90 plan to read through all of the New Testament. I'm continuing the 100 Verse Challenge (see the link at the top of the right column on this page) which ends next September. I know for the fourth quarter after I finish the Challenge I intend to do an intensive study of James and try to memorize the whole book. The 2nd and 3rd quarters of this year are still wild cards on the reading plans. But I know this, I will be in the Word every day. Last year's commitment to that has had an amazing impact on my life, and renewed my passion for the Word.

Anyway, but those are bridges to cross. Right now in this first quarter I am doing the 90 day plan. It's several chapters a day, but the 7th day of each week (Saturdays for me) but my hope is to stay on track, and I will find something else to wade into on Saturdays.

This week I have been doing all of my reading in the morning. I like it, but we'll see how it holds up when the kids go back to school next week and the schedule tightens up.

In addition to my Bible reading I am reading three other books:

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala - It's a book about prayer (an area I know I need to grow in) that was recommended by a friend. Cymbala is the pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle church and it tells alot about the radical move of Christ in his church after as a body they made a commitment to prayer. One of my favorite quotes (that I will now misquote by memory) is "You can tell how popular a pastor is by Sunday morning attendance, how popular his ministry is by Sunday night attendance, but you can tell how popular Jesus is by how many people attend the prayer meetings." Now THAT is something to chew on.

The other two books I am reading through are by a man named Gene Edwards. I ended 2011 by reading his book A Tale of Three Kings. It was a powerful and moving book. And I am starting 2012 with two additional booksof his:

Living Close to God (When You're Not Good At It): A Spiritual Life That Takes You Deeper than Daily Devotions - Amazon.com offers this decription: In Living Close to God (When You're Not Good at It) you will discover that loving God means much more than doing your best to serve Him. You will find ways to start your day with Christ, beginning with your first conscious thought in the morning. You will learn how to fellowship with Him during even the most demanding days. And when you go to the Scriptures, you will talk with Him in a two-way conversation—just as His first followers did. I find myself going through this book carefully and slowly.

I'm also reading a second book by him (ironically as though it was a devotion) called 100 Days in the Secret Place. It's actually a collection he put together of three Christians from the seventeenth century: Michael Molinos, Madam Guyon, and Francois Fenelon. Edwards refers to the writings as lamposts, and I already see them shining light in some areas God needs and desires to work in my heart. Every night as I lay in bed I re-read the previous nights's reading and move forward to the next. I find myself lying in bed to some heavy conviction. But it's good, God is doing a work.

We're excited about what 2012 has ahead, and I am happy to report as a family, we are focused where we ought to be to allow the Lord to do the work he desires.

2 Days After Christmas

2011-12-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

2 days after Christmas and it's clearly plain to see,
That the Christmas countdown didn't work out for me.

There was shopping to be done, and wrapping gifts up too,
I didn't even get to send out a Christmas card to you.

We had to have a birthday party for our girl because she just turned ten,
Of all the times to lose my voice, the best time wasn't then.

But sickness plagued our family, at times I couldn't catch my breath,
Aches, and pains and fever, I felt like walking death.

Still the shopping was done, the tree was decorated too,
Doesn't matter if you're sick, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

Daddy was under the weather, but the kids fought off the sick,
We all just made the best of it, even watched a Christmas flick.

Christmas Eve started early, the kids' competition was on,
They stood over my bed, trying to win the gift at dawn.

Christmas Eve evening was without tradition, so I had for the fam surprise,
Our new church has no service, so instead we went to Toy Story on Ice.

Our family stayed determined, to make this Christmas fun,
And by the end of Christmas, that's exactly what we'd done!

My favorite tradition, homemade breakfast by my Dad,
They're the best cinnamon rolls anyone of you've ever had.

Christmas was on a Sunday, so we got to go to service at our church,
I think every Christmas should be on a Sunday, somebody quick do some research.

We all got funny t-shirts from Grandma (she's actually mom to me,)
She had a blast shopping for funny, and for me she bought three.

The DePriest five didn't open our gifts until very late in the day,
But it took off a lot of pressure, I think we may keep doing it that way.

Jacob got an iPod, he didn't expect to see,
He really had no idea it was wrapped under our tree.

The younger kids asked for Kindles, one each for E and V,
We're hoping it will kindle a love in them to read.

We five did our not so secret stockings, a fun gift exchange,
Some gifts were funny, some useful, a couple just plain strange.

As the family just relaxed, playing with new toys and a video game,
I started work on dinner, our favorite holiday menu, always the same.

Christmas dinner was yummy, the prime rib was a perfect pink,
With asparagus, potatoes, fresh berries and ice cold milk to drink.

The holiday was beautiful, celebrating our Savior's birth,
Celebrating the night that Jesus came on the scene on earth.

We didn't overcharge or overspend, or buy crud we didn't need,
(There's still gift cards tho, but at least that crud is "free".)

Yesterday was kick back, golf for Neal, jammie day for the kids and me,
That's how I think the day after Christmas should always be.

Today's a little rougher, Neal's fighting a bee swarm out in our yard,
He said yard work relaxes him, I don't think he thought it'd be that hard.

I guess, the unexpected bee swarm declares this Christmas done,
But I say with a heart of gratitude, it was a lot of fun.

By Diana DePriest
© December 27, 2011

10 Days til Christmas

2011-12-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

And although we have a tree
It's still not done up pretty....

December is such a busy month. We got our tree last Saturday afternoon, and I put the lights on it that night, but not a single ornament is in place. Decorating the tree is a family affair. Neal and the kids do it while I watch (don't judge, the lights are my department, remember?)

Sunday didn't work because our oldest was at Disneyland, and Neal was battling a flood in the yard because our water main sprung a leak. Monday was gymnastics, Tuesday was fellowship and tacos and a late night bicycle buying and building adventure. Last night was filled with birthday celebrations, tonight was the younger kids Christmas program at school. Sigh... I'm tired. Tomorrow the oldest is heading for a party at youth group, and the rest of us are headed to have dinner with some new friends. The tree will have been lit but naked for a week.

Saturday is our one open day this week. Open after Neal gets off work that is. So it's the day for decorating, cookie baking, candy making, stocking shopping and all other things Christmas. I wonder how many hours there are in that day exactly? I fear not enough. Did I mention I haven't even done any shopping yet? Maybe I'll do that Saturday too, because Sunday is our church's Christmas service, and then Victoria's birthday party....

'Tis the season to be busy.... but full of joy in the Lord!!!

11 Days til Christmas

2011-12-14T22:34:00.000-08:00

My True Love gave to me...
A precious little girl baby...

Ten years ago today my "expected Christmas baby" came eleven days early. She came hard and fast and has been taking the world by storm ever since. I can't believe a whole decade has gone by since that day. It scares me to think how fast the next decade might go by.

I love my baby girl. She told me the other night that she's a "mama's girl." I hope she always feels that way.

We've had a fun day celebrating our girl. She has a new bicycle and a special journal that opens by voice command. We had a fun dinner at PF Chang's and peppermint chocolate cake at my parents. Her party with friends will be on Sunday. I'm treasuring every little girl moment left as I am beginning to see the young woman blossoming inside.

Happy 10th birthday to my sweet Victoria!!!

On the 12th Day of Christmas

2011-12-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

I want to give to thee....

a little Christmas fun you can watch for free....

(We'll see if the countdown actually pans out!)

Quirks

2011-12-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

Everyone has them.

My Top 5:

(1) Where I sit at a table in a public place is always a challenge for me. I don't like having the door behind me, but I also don't like more of the room behind me. Best place for me to sit is as far from the door as possible and facing it. I have one girlfriend who completely gets this quirk, she instinctively leaves me the right seat, and I have a husband who always lets me sit first, alleviating a challenge, and I have the power to tell my three children to "move" if they don't leave me the right spot, but if we ever go out to dinner together, don't be offended if I hurry ahead of you to get my spot. It really almost causes physical discomfort for me if there are too many people behind me or I can't have my eye on the door. Worst pl;ace to sit is at a corner table where all the people and the door are behind me.

(2) I've noticed this one a lot this week for some reason (and it inspired the blog idea) but I'm not sure why it has been so noticeable, it's just one of those lifelong habits. I HAVE to wet the toothbrush before I put toothpaste on it, and then I have to wet it again after. I have no idea why, but I do. I have actually tried to put the toothpaste on without wetting the toothbrush, and it too causes some sort of kooky discomfort to creep up inside me.

(3) Can't stand to see a crooked stamp on an envelope. My entire desktop stays in disarray, but the crooked stamp, drives shivers up my spine.
My whole desk could be covered in paper and pens out of order, it won't bother me a bit, but this little beauty - oh my stars! But it's only when I put the stamp on the envelope that it's an issue. I have had girlfriends threaten to drive me over an edge by sending me mail with crooked stamps, but it won't bother me a bit, I probably won't even notice, but if your penmanship is bad on the other hand...

(4) m&m's - my girlfriends give me grief for this, except the ones who struggle with the same quirk themselves. They have to be organized and eaten by color. orange, yellow and green always have to go first, and in that order. I can barely stand the sight of an orange m&m. Red, blue and brown m&m's appeal to me visually, I especially like the blue and brown combination. But if I dump a whole bag of m&m's everything gets separated by color, eaten ugliest to preferred colors, but not until they are all equaled out in quantity. You people (like my husband and at least one or two of my children) who just willie nillie dump the m&m's into your mouth? I totally don't get you. But Skittles on the other hand? Never organized them in my life and have absolutely no desire to.

(5) Cupcakes - I have to separate the bottom from the "cap," and always eat the bottom first, save the cap for last. Whether it's a hostess cupcake, a homemade cupcake or one of those ~~overpriced~~ fancy cupcakes from a specialty shop, the cupcake has to be eaten in this way. Muffins on the other hand? Nope, I'll bite right in.

So these are the fiurst few signs of my eventual mental demise, I suspect, signs that crazy lurks somewhere deep (or not so deep) inside. How about you? What are your crazy quirks? Because I know you have them.

The Home Stretch

2011-12-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

The end of 2011 is in sight. I can hardly believe it's here! This past year seems to have flown by, but as I look back it seems like the year went quickly, but certain events seem like eons ago.

As I sit and peruse what lies ahead, I am a little floored that the "baby" of my family will be a decade old in less than 2 weeks! How did that happen. And my oldest is halfway through his last year of high school, he be 18 in just 70 days. I remember doing the math and imagining when the year of his 18th birthday and hos graduation would come. Now I see it on the horizon. It's almost here.

Not for nothing, Ethan too is a decade old this year and will be 11 just 9 days after Jake's 18th. I still call E & V my "little kids" but there isn't really much little about either of them. I guess I'll have to switch from referring to them as my little kids, and Jake as the big kid to the younger as just plain old "kids" and Jake as the (gulp) adult??? Say what?

Last New Year's Eve I took a scripture at a church service, and I wanted to throw it back. "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." I focused on the "many afflictions," but it's turned out to be more about the deliverance this year. (Whew!) But it's safe to say, God isn't finished yet. (I have a list, if He needs it.)

At the beginning of the year I prayed for a year of jubilee. I was focused on miraculous deliverance from debt, but the Publisher's Clearinghouse people never did decide to stop by. But there were other kinds of freedoms that were brought and if I'm honest, it's true, God really does know best.

It's been a year of transition, and I know that is certain to continue on in the New Year as well. God has sustained us with manna, and like the Israelites, sometimes I need to remember not to complain about the "bread of heaven." But working on cultivating gratitude and awareness at just how blessed I am is definitely a work God has been doing these past couple months.

The holidays look very different this year. Changes made throughout the year culminate in many ways with this season. We won't find ourselves drawing a scripture for the New Year where we were last year. Our Thanksgiving tradition changed, and many of our Christmas traditions will too. It's a "good hurt."

At the dawn of 2011 as a family, the five of us sat down together and went over our Family Values Covenant, and individually we each wrote down some secret hopes and prayers for this year. On New Year's Eve, we will find ourselves opening those back up and seeing what God answered, or how He answered. I know I was looking for a weight loss that didn't happen physically, but on the other hand, did in many ways happen in my heart. I know I had a goal to read through my entire Bible this year, and that goal is definitely in sight if I finish the year as well as I began it.

I'm starting to ponder 2012, and what my goals for the New Year will be. And I am focused on the end of 2011, I hope to finish strong. I am grateful for God's goodness to us in 2011, and I know no matter what may be waiting for us in 2012 (and for those of you who are worried, I don't think it's the apocalypse), God will be with us and for us, and that alone makes for a very promising year.

I'm No Martha Stewart

2011-11-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

Now, I make the title statement based on my assumption that since she is so crafty, and such a good cook, and diva in all things domestic, she must keep a pretty clean house as well. I can so not say the same thing at all about myself....

My hubby and I (and those three kids we can't seem to shake) all live in the house I grew up in. I've been there all but the first 15 months of my life. And when my parents moved out a few months before Neal and I got married, I can say honestly that the carpet in my old bedroom was the nicest in the house, mostly because it hadn't been walked on for most of the years that I occupied it, thanks to the clothes that covered and protected it all those years.

Now unfortunately for my hubby putting a ring on my finger did not make me a happy homemaker or a stellar housekeeper. In the early years (decade or more) of our marriage, it honestly drove him crazy, like, to the brink of packing bags and walking out the door crazy, but somewhere along the line he decided he liked (loved?) me more than a clean house, and he just let it go. Or at least he learned to fake it better.

There have been (long, long, long) seasons where I can honestly say the best thing I could say about my organization system in the house is that I kept the laundry baskets of dirty clothes stacked on the opposite side of the room from the laundry baskets full of clean unfolded laundry, and yes for the record, at my house, "ironing" means throwing things back in the dryer on high for 10 to 15 minutes, depending on how deep in the pile they were and how deep the creases are in said clothes.

I'm not proud of this truth, I'm just being real. And let me say, when you take a substandard housekeeper (in the non-vocational sense) and add THREE other people who have no interest in cleaning, and who yourself are for responsible for training in said cleaning, it's not pretty, and basically, I should be thankful for every day my hubby has remained in our home. It isn't pretty, and I believe it was somewhere around 2003 when I just completely quit looking anywhere below eye-level on a consistent basis. With a couple 2-year-olds and an 8 year-old, it was just too depressing, and I completely surrendered the house to the messes. (Though I was honestly there already, this just made it "official.")

Every so often my hubby gets a "bug up his butt" and will do some hard core cleaning, it's one of my favorite things about leaving town alone, I'm the only wife I know who comes home to a cleaner house. (He must lock the kids outside while I'm gone.) And on the rare occasions where I really try to get things in order, or do major cleaning, like, say, make a bed, well, those are pure acts of love and service toward my husband, because I just don't really care all that much. I mean really, what's the point of making a bed? Aren't you just going to climb back in 16 hours later or so? So when I make the bed, it's pure devotion to the man I love.

Honestly, when I do clean, it's dangerous. I do have this Type-A woman living inside of me, but I can't let her out, she's a total witch! Like Wizard of Oz, call out the flying monkeys mean witch. (Keeping it G here folks, are you tracking me??) When that woman cleans the house she walks around like Alice's The Queen of Hearts looking for offenders who defile the beauty of cleanliness (Off with their heads!)

But this weekend, one of my hubby's bugs must have crawled over to my side of the bed and inserted itself in my posterior because I did some rockin' cleaning! (I think maybe a whole litter was birthed)I wore myself out! And I LOVE it! But I am trying to figure out how to keep the Queen off the throne and by a little abiding in the (Heavenly) King manage to keep it up, keep the kids actively involved in that process and not let there be any bloodshed, because really, who wants to clean that up?

The kids' rooms still need work, but the rest of the house looks delightful (though not gonna lie, I'm still hard pressed to see the value in dusting when it returns so quickly, thank you train tracks a stone's throw away.) Normally, I won't even use the front bathroom of my house, it's used by my boys and well, enough said, right? If people pop in (oh please know I am SOOO not a pop-in person) I am usually embarrassed by the condition of the living room and kitchen, but if you ask to use my restroom, I am typically mortified because I seriously never go in there unless I know someone is coming, and then I usually have quite a cleaning job to deal with (no matter how big they get, men miss. Gross, I know, but true just the same.) But right now, you could totally pop in (but don't) and even use my front bathroom (just don't pull back the shower curtain because that's where I throw the dirty towels, and I have not gotten to towels in the laundry war yet - yes, I said war... but all the hampers are empty! Except Jake's at 17 you are big enough to do your own lauindry completely.)

I'm really hoping this new energy and determination to, well, keep my home, is a turning point and not just a momentary lapse in my otherwise well-established laziness. Because you know what? I LOVE having a clean house. I just don't want to have to commit murder to keep it that way. So I'm hoping my children will find they enjoy a clean house as well, and that they prefer the happy mom who appreciates their efforts to keep it that way, and not that mean lady who will hunt them down and destroy them if they don't.

I'm trying to get things together with my meal planning and coupon clipping again too, because well, I would like to be a little diva-ish in my domestic skills if possible, (though don't be looking for anything crafty at my house, neeeever gonna happen.) Maybe since my baby is almost a decade, the reality will be that I can be a working mom and still have a clean house. A girl can dream right?

I asked my Neal, "You prayed I'd clean the house, didn't you?" He swore he didn't. I said, "You prayed for a clean house, though didn't you?" That he confessed to... as if he didn't know God would back me into the corner on being that cleaning elf! Oh well, at least it's clean! Stop by and see for yourself, but please call and give a girl 48 hours notice or so!

I Wrote a Book

2011-11-20T13:38:00.000-08:00

I've neglected my blogging duties here around DePriest Days. I've been kind of busy.... I wrote a book.

That sounds so funny! But it's true. I finished my first novel, and I'm very excited. Most people don't seem to have much of a response to the statement, but for me, it's a big deal. I've started two other manuscripts before, but I never finished the job. 4 chapters the first time, 8 chapters the next, I never gotten beyond that, but this time I have a 180 page manuscript in my hands! And it's pretty good.

I had a focus group/book club that walked the creative process out with me, and honestly I think it was their constant ~~demands~~ encouragement for the next chapter that enabled me me to finish the process in 18 days. I was participating in National Novel Writing Month, (NaNoWriMo.org) with a challenge to write 50,000 words in the 30 days of November, but I completed 72,429 in 18 days, and told the tale of Taryn Michaels, woman who has to face her past after returning home for the first time in 20 years. It's Christian fiction, and like I said, the ladies seemed to love it. I have a few more readers I'm waiting to hear back from.

The editing process still lies ahead. Publishing is a foreign land I know nothing about, and I'm looking ahead with a little fear and trembling. I hope it turns out I have faith like Caleb and Jacob and I don't allow myself to be scared off by any imagined giants. I want to believe that land is promised to me! As of right now (still needing to pray it through) my intention is to self-publish through Kindle and hope that will be a doorway to something more. But first I have to proofread and edit... and edit... and edit.

I'm excited though, I've felt the Lord's hand inspiring and leading through the creative process, and that alone has been so much fun, and real privilege, but I am daring to dream that it's only a beginning!

Flashback Flashback

2011-11-08T09:42:00.000-08:00

Today some family members are celebrating their "Gotcha Day," as did some particularly dear friends a few weeks back. It had me thinking back to our own special "Gotcha Day," and so I went and hunted down an old Flashback Friday post (a meme I used to do here regularly on the blog) and found the one dedicated to our own Gotcha Day.

So let's flashback to Flashback Friday from September 26, 2008 in remembrance of April 20, 2004, on this glorious Tuesday! Happy Gotcha Day little Ray!
----------------------------------

I used my same method and just grabbed out of my bag to find the photos for this week's flashback. This is April 20, 2004 - Adoption Day, just about the best day ever.

This is a very happy family. As you can see in particular there are very big smiles on my face, Neal's face and Jake's face, the three people who really understood what this day meant, and had truly weathered the battle to get here. Jake is 10 years old, Ethan 3, and Victoria was 2 1/2.

Here they are, my prayer, my present (picking his nose, holding onto little Lizzy Danna) and my promise. I call them that because Jake was the baby we prayed for when it seemed we might never have children. Ethan is my present (in the sense of a gift) because he wasn't asked for, but rather in His infinite wisdom and divine plan, God brought him to our family. And Victoria was my promise because before I ever had any children, the one time I heard the nearly audible voice of God was in the midst of God healing my heart from the abortion I had in my teens, God promised me I would have a daughter, and ten years later, she was the fulfillment of that promise.

So many friends and loved ones came and helped us celebrate this day. Everyone is clapping because the end of one journey had just been accomplished. Neal and I had signed the papers the judge declared us "official" and our family was complete. Ethan was truly a DePriest, for life. What an amazing day that was, one we questioned many times if we would ever really get there, but we knew (and learned like never before) in that season, that God always keeps His promises.

April 20, 2004 was "Adoption Day" and absolutely a celebration of Ethan's "official" membership in our family, but because he was always a DePriest to us, it really was more our "Family Day." This is the day God made our family whole and complete. When Neal and I started to consider adoption in late 2000 we didn't even talk about it to anyone else. The prospect of it scared us. You hear so many terrible things about failed adoptions and we didn't want that to happen to us. We told the Lord if it was His will, we would really need Him to direct our paths, drop it in our laps even. One day our Pastor's wife, Carol, called us because she had heard about a baby who was going to need a home. She said as she prayed God kept bringing us to her mind. "Had we ever considered adoption?" That first baby did not turn out to be our child, but it started us talking about adoption with our families. The day that opportunity ended is the day Carol got the call about another crisis pregnancy. In just a matter of months we brought Ethan home.

Ethan means "steadfast & permanent." I was looking up another name when this name popped off the screen and I knew it was his name (before we even knew he was a boy.) There were many times in the next 3 1/2 years that I had to go back to the name the Lord had given me for him and hold to that promise that he was ours, he was permanent. It helped a lot that shortly after Ethan came (less than 10 months later) God had fulfilled the promise of Victoria's birth, I am certain to assure us of His faithfulness. We had more loops and turns in the roller coaster adoption than you might find in ten other adoptions combined, but we held to God's promises and He kept them as surely as He made them. And that's why this adorable little boy is ours. This picture is later in the day where we spent the whole afternoon at Disneyland celebrating.

"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable." Romans 11:29

Attitude of Gratitude

2011-11-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
Psalm 100:4

Thanksgiving is coming, and so I am encouraging my family to cultivate their attitudes of gratitude. This morning I handed the card below to each one of them and asked them to write down their own name and what they are thankful for. Gratitude is a habit and I don't think we should wait for a Thursday in November to practice it, but since the day is coming, we may as well take full advantage.

Thanksgiving is coming.
What are you doing to cultivate your attitude of gratitude?

...give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

Eyes Wide Open

2011-10-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

Life is running by. I checked and it's been 10 days since I blogged here last.

10 days and time is flying by.

I can't believe tomorrow is Halloween!

Four and a half weeks till Thanksgiving!

Christmas is 56 days away!

My daughter, my baby is hitting double digits in just 45.

61 days till 2012

Jake will be 18 in 103 days!

Ethan turns 11 just 9 days after that!

It's all happening WAY too fast! And I'm afraid if I blink, it will all be days counted backwards, memories before I know it!

I'm keeping my eyes wide open, you think that will do anything to slow time down?

CrossPointe

2011-10-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

That's the name of our new church.

We thought finding a new place of worship would be a difficult challenge for our family, we thought the process would be long, possibly arduous.

And then God just made a way.

That Wednesday night was devastating- like an earthquake at our foundation. Thursday was a difficult day, big decisions, huge changes, By Friday morning we felt sort of adrift, but with this calm in the eye of the storm. We knew where our anchor was, and it wasn't in a church building. But the rope on the Anchor felt longer.

Then Friday morning at Ethan and Victoria's school, I heard a man pray. I heard an associate pastor pray. I heard him pray with humility and tenderness, and then a thought went through my head, "I think I want to check out a church where the pastor has a faux hawk." So I introduced myself to him and he told me a tiny bit about his church. I emailed Neal there web address and mentally added the church to the bottom of the somewhat long list of churches we had planned to check out.

We hadn't planned on getting there for a while. We planned on spending our first few Sundays just visiting. We had specific friends we planned to visit that first Sunday. But Saturday night circumstances on their end uprooted our plans. And we didn't have a Plan B.

"CrossPointe" Neal said. "Let's go check it out." He went on to tell me how it had been on his heart since I had mentioned it, and how he had seen the church many times and always felt led to pray for it when he drove by. "I want to go," he said, "let's go there."

So we did.

That first Sunday we were welcomed with open arms. The lovely woman who greeted us with her big badge, and the swarm of women who literally surrounded us in moments, welcoming us with open arms. Lisa, the lady on the worship team who made a point of memorizing all our names, and Kelli the sweet young woman who helped us figure out how to check in our kids and led us to their classroom. Carie the children's minister even came up to us and impressed me as her first priority seemed to be meeting the children. There was a greeter at the door with long hair in a t-shirt and flip flops who insisted on giving hugs over handshakes, and Jeff, the man who prayed at the kid school who remembered my name, Dian-A without even realizing how important it was to me.

The worship was wonderful, tender and sweet, I felt the Lord's presence. Eddie the worship leader had a humility and was clearly a "worshiper in spirit and in truth," like another worship leader I loved at our old home. The message was good, spoke right to my heart, unknowingly Pastor Brian spoke to specific concerns I had throughout his message. he even talked about loving Disneyland, and I watched Jake's eyes light up. I felt like I was in a youth service, like at camp in the days when Neal and I served as youth group leaders at our old church. It was exciting, I could feel a stirring in my heart. Neal, Jake and I kept looking at each other, mouths slightly agape, nodding, smiling, connecting.

After service as we walked out of the building the head pastor took note of us. I saw him politely step away from his conversation with the purpose of introducing himself. He noticed we were new, he made a point of connecting. He noticed Neal's "Stick With Jesus" Christian drummer church and immediately shared the church's heart to use people in their gifts. He was so welcoming. He learned our names and shook our hands, he welcomed us.

"Love it." "Love it." "Love it." Those were the responses as Neal, Jake and I conferred, shaking our heads in agreement and in disbelief. As we went up the stairs to retrieve Ethan and Victoria, I found myself praying they'd liked it too, especially Ethan, who made the best argument against attending the church we visited the Sunday before.

Victoria was smiling from ear to ear. She would be happy anywhere she made a friend and she had clearly made many. I almost couldn't bring myself to look at Ethan's response, so as I walked down the stairs in front of him, I almost couldn't bear to look when he grabbed my elbow.

"Mom," he said, "I know you said we'd be trying out a lot of different churches, but I REALLY think there is wisdom in giving some churches a second chance and coming back more than once." I could hardly contain my grin. And I asked, "You like it Ethan?"

"Mom," he said, "I like it a lot." Emphatically he continued, "They gave me the Word mom, they actually taught it to me, and they taught me how to apply it and they taught me how to be a better Christian." What better endorsement is there than that??

All five of us felt almost instantly at home. I had heard people talk about that kind of experience, but now I profoundly understood it.

This coming Sunday will be our 7th Sunday there. We never went back. Since then Neal and I have joined a Growth Group and the little kids have joined Awana on Wednesday nights. Jake has made a great connection with the youth pastor and been going to youth group. We have been made to feel like family, we feel like sheep brought into the fold. We've been blown away continually, and we are excited that the Lord seems to have tightened up the anchor rope now that He has transitioned us to this new place.

We're getting connected, making new friends, we've had many conversations, with pastors- head, executive and youth, lots of interaction with the children's minister, who has brought up getting E & V involved in Kids leadership. Jake feels good about where we are and feels supported as he is working through this challenging season of his life. And Neal and I have laid all our cards on the table and feel like there is a lot of hope for our future in this church.

I love the name, CrossPointe. The heart of it is because the goal of the church is to point people towards Jesus. We're looking forward to finding a way to be a part of that here at our new church home.

Oh Sweet Character

2011-10-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

I LOVED being a soccer mom. Now mind you, we never chose to play at the higher competition levels. As the mom of three I refused to put family at the mercy of practices and games for any one kid. So we always did things like city league, because it meant the commitment was mild enough it wouldn't run over my family. Ethan would have one soccer practice a week, and a game on Saturday, V would have her day of gymnastics, and once upon a time Jake even had karate a couple days a week- three kids, 5 obligations, 7 days in a week. Totally manageable.

BUT it meant I wasn't keeping my kid competitive. He is naturally gifted, and definitely has an inclination for sports, but he just hasn't ever been as developed as kids who are practicing 3-5 days a week and playing games all weekend long. Now mind you, I stand by my decision, I still think sports should be a leisure activity when you're ten, and more about fun than purpose, but apparently I have missed the point of the masses. And my kid has been somewhat left behind (and downside, he may be a little thicker in the middle than he might be otherwise.)

But this year he has finally arrived at the age and stage where he can play competitive sports through school. In the Christian education system, they have a "JV" team option that means in 5th grade you can join the team. So Ethan went out for football this year.

Can I just tell you that the "Try Out" process was tough! I don't know about the actual process on the field for Ethan, but the waiting to find out whether or not his name got on the roster, that stressed this mama out! Mostly because the thought of disappointment in my son's eyes, in particular THIS son, killed me. And true to my nature, as we drove to school morning I made the speech, relentlessly, "You did your best, that's all you can do... you're only a 5th grader, don't be disappointed if you don't make it, there's always next year..." It's not that I didn't believe in him, but I wanted to prepare him for the worst. I'd rather be happily surprised than devastatingly disappointed. (I know, who wouldn't?)

I was in a bigger hurry to get upstairs and see the roster than he was. I may have sounded a little like a drill sergeant getting him to lead the way. Can I just say, it would have been nice if the list had been alphabetized (and if it had been made by team moms instead of coaches, I'm betting it would have.) But it wasn't, so we ran our fingers pretty far down the list before the huge way of relief came in and the joy burst out! ~~We were~~ E was on the team!

I'm still finding myself to have to do a lot of adjusting from the sports and rec mentality vs. serious competition. We've had two games so far, and this mom struggles with the lack of "everyone plays" and "equal time for equal effort." He now puts in the 4 days a week of after school practice (for the record, much more manageable), but there are boys who play all four quarters and there is my kid who who spends maybe all told about 4 minutes on the field on the kick return team just long enough to watch the ball fly over his head and then running back off to the sidelines.

But I'm proud of my kid who says with his own great pride, "I'm a substitute!" And so I watch to see if he is really happy supporting his team from the sidelines all the while trying to refrain from asking any questions or make any comments that indicate I don't think it's all that fair that he's not getting more time. I keep trying to remind myself, there is character being built in my kid while he stands on the sidelines supporting his team. But I can't lie, I keep waiting with bated breath for a moment and opportunity for him to get out there and get in the game.

Of course, I think the stars could learn a little character too, realizing they are part of a team and maybe doing little sideline standing of their own rooting on the weaker members, realizing winning isn't necessarily everything. But maybe not everyone feels that way. Truth be told, the team is 0-2, so running the better athletes ragged playing the whole game isn't working out all that successfully anyway, but I'm not the coach, I'm just a mom. And I'm a mom who knows she should do her best to keep her mouth shut.

So, I will build a little character of my own I hope, as I sit on the sidelines too, supporting the team, rooting "Go Vanguards!" no matter whose children are actually out on the field. But I'm not going to lie, I'll be waiting anxiously for the moment #99 gets out there and gets his shot. And his #1 fan will root him all the way, even if we don't make the four minute mark. Go Ethan!

Rally & Reevaluation - Prowling Lion Part 3

2011-10-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

I start this blog with a dare. I dare you to read it all the way to the end. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, read to the end before you click away. I assure you I do not write this with a finger pointing at anyone other than me.

It's been a week since I shared in more detail the battle that's been going on in our home. It was sudden and unexpected. I'm realizing that's why the Bible continually warns us to watch.

“But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man.”
Luke 21:34-36

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night.
1 Thessalonians 5:5-7

Be alert, look out, keep your eyes open! Why? Because we are at war. The warfare is thick, and Ephesians 6 tells us we not only have to be armored up, but we have to be on watch.

I thought I was. But the prowling lion metaphor the Lord gives us to describe the enemy of our souls has never been clearer to me. I've watched enough Disney and Discovery channel documentaries to know what it means when the Lord gives us this word picture. I've seen the unaware dear frolicking in the meadow while the lion creeps under the cover of darkness waiting for the moment to pounce. Occasionally you'll see the deer that catches on quickly enough to make an escape, but most often you find the end of the scene to be the lion licking his chops as the meal is completed.

Interestingly enough though, that the exhortation to watch, or be alert, is not followed with a direction to flee when Paul tells us how to war spiritually. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Ephesians 6:11

"Frolicking" wasn't our best choice. We got our guard down, honestly I think we may have softened the edges of our resolve. By no means did we endorse anything that would approve of what made it into our home, but maybe we didn't build the walls high enough to keep it out either. PG-13 may be a world standard, but maybe we let our kid see things he shouldn't have. In all honesty most of television programming has a PG-13 rating if we are honest. Maybe we should be focusing on a worldly opinion about what's OK, and look back to what the Word of God says. Maybe we've just become a little too dulled by the fact that entertainment should be such a primary concern at all.

These are things we are in the process of reevaluating in our home. "No big deal" and "harmless" are usually excuse words rather than proper evaluations, if we are honest. If you really sit down and watch TV these days you can see the assault on traditional values. It isn't easy to go against the grain of what has become "acceptable" in society, but that doesn't change the fact we are called to it.

It starts with the parents. If something is inappropriate for your children, what makes it somehow appropriate for us? Is the importance of protecting our own minds somehow less? "Garbage in, garbage out" is a profound truth if you truly consider it.

So I ask you, are you letting unmarried people sleep together in your living room?

Are you promoting the payoff of teenage angst and drama over purity and innocence?

Are you allowing drug use? Excessive drinking?

Are you allowing murder and profanity? Violent crime? Gore for the sake of it?

I am guilty. I have allowed so many of these things in my home in the name of entertainment. And suddenly I find myself wondering, how does that line up with my Christian witness at all? It's worse than not just being "of" the world (which we are exhorted against,) it is putting a stamp of approval on it and in our own home.

It's not going to be easy, but we really have to rally to this awakening. I am not overreacting, and if your first thought is that I am, perhaps you need to give pause for a moment and examine your own heart.

It is our job to shelter our children. And if I forced my child to sleep outside in the elements, it wouldn't be long at all before you'd have child services knocking on my door to rescue my kids. The body lasts only a little while. How much more important is it for me to guard the hearts and minds of my kids, and to shelter the soul that will live an eternity.

God, help me rise to the awakening and do what needs to be done to better take care of my kids, in Jesus' name.

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.
Proverbs 4:20-27

PARENTS BEWARE - Prowling Lion Part 2

2011-09-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a pretty savvy parent. I am on top of things with my kids. I am "involved" at the very least, and possibly could be described as invasive. I'm ok with that, as a MOM it's my job. I'd rather know too much than to let anything slip by.

I'm pretty tech savvy too, I am not oblivious to what the pitfalls of the internet are, and I have always considered myself to be proactive in protecting my children from what they could be exposed to. I have always been a firm believer than when it came to social networking, no "children" should be there, and the rule in our home has always been that Facebook was a privilege that waited until high school. MySpace isn't even in an option in our home because I think the ads are too salacious and the pervasive darkness I sense on the site simply makes it a "no."

As for Facebook, I know even with monitoring and restrictions, we have always set really strong boundaries. We not only put time limits and permitted hours of operation into place, but no one has an account unless mom has full access, passwords, and you're friends with mom and dad on the account. I have never thought twice about signing into my son's account and taking a look through his private messages. Is it an invasion of privacy? I'm sorry, no minor has a "right" to privacy in my home, because it's MY job to protect him from his own stupidity. And in can you don't know it, kids are stupid.

I'm not being mean, it's true. In the teen years they are all fully convinced that they are untouchable, immortal, and know what's best for themselves. They don't believe for a minute that anything bad would ever happen to them. Even the "careful" kids are prone to temptation and completely able to fall, and to fall long and hard. And sadly, some fall long enough and hard enough, when they get back up they are broken, and worse, some don't get back up at all.

I'm the mom. It's MY job (and their dad's) to keep them safe, safe from outside influence, and safe from themselves. Am I trying to "shelter" my children? Tell me, what's so wrong if I am? I have heard people say it like it is a derogatory thing, and honestly, I need an explanation. Why shouldn't I want to protect my child and their innocence for as long as I possibly can??

Here are my issues with Facebook and texting and the like. Kids get into conversations and say things that shame and embarrassment would keep them from ever saying face to face. "Face-" book really eliminates the value of being face to face and hinders the check in one's own spirit that might keep them from saying something they'd have to actually back up if they were together. Instead of awkward flirting, you get get provocative conversations and even lewd innuendos that in person would likely never happen. This is why in our home, the computer is in a "visible" location. If you're on it, you run the risk of someone walking down the hall and seeing your activity and "chat" words at any moment.

So I have tried. And I have battled especially in the area of technology to keep careful guard over my children. And sadly, I have failed. And the realization of just how unprepared I was for the battlefront I am on is staggering.

And so that is why I am writing this blog. Because I know if these things got past me, I am NOT the only one.

This is what I have done. I monitor carefully my son's phone, I monitor his computer use, I monitor his social networking. I have all the passwords, to Facebook and email, and his voicemail. And he knows at ANY time I may choose to check one or all of them. And when I am on my game and doing things right, I DO! I thought I had guards at every front, but something got past me.

Does your son or daughter have one of these? I'm sure many, if not most of you would say yes. It's the latest and greatest. Ok, maybe technology has moved forward even as I am typing this, but they are popular and kids everywhere have them. Music and applications are the big thing. I know my kids love to play Angry Birds, and they are always plugging into iTunes to load more music, which for the record, I am ALSO very diligent about. "Games & Music" was my mindset about the beloved iPod, but boy was I wrong.

Are you familiar with this application? Neither was I until the havoc it was wreaking in my home was revealed. The title is self-explanatory. You can text other people who also have the application. It is pretty much untraceable as it makes up a phone number that you can text to, not only from iPod to iPod but also from a regular phone to the application, and yes, since it's a PHONE number, did you know your kids can also receive phone calls to their iPod? So feel free to put Johnny on restriction from his phone, or decide maybe that's a privilege he's not ready to have, but if you're ok with the iPod, guess what, they have constant free texting available, and they can even earn enough "points" to make a phone call and have actual conversation.

What's so bad about that? you ask. Your kid is a good kid, has good kid friends, makes good choices. Well, let me introduce you the sister of Text Free. Flirtomatic, and probably dozens of sites and apps like it are the latest thing. In the 80's we had party lines, in the 90's it was chat rooms, recent years it's been about the social networks and online dating, and now this. You "meet" people through their profiles and exchange "phone numbers" through the site and either through actual phones (for the really dumb kids) or through texting apps kids make a connection.

It makes me think of "seven minutes in heaven," a stupid game kids played where you would lock two awkward teenagers in a closet for 7 minutes and worst case scenario someone might exchange a kiss or cop a feel. But again, the "real life" application limited how far things would go. Now we have kids taking pictures of themselves with their iPods or phones and sending them to one another, and I'm talking pornographic pictures. Things they would NEVER do in real life or face to face, young girls are stripping down and taking provocative poses and sending them to total strangers, and who knows what hacker may find them as they float through the great "out there"??

Am I saying too much? Am I putting out the battle that is raging in our home for too many eyes to see? I'm sorry, I don't care. My son and I have been talking about the need to share this information for the sake of others. I have such a heart and passion for his generation, and my heart breaks at the damage they are doing to their souls. I have worked so hard to protect my kid, and so much just slipped right past me. That prowling lion I talked about a couple posts ago (click to go) crept right through the cover of night on my watch and is trying to destroy my son. I know he's not the only one.

Here's the one that really got me today. The Kindle, what a great thing to have. It's BOOKS! Learning, expanding the mind, feeding the Spirit even. I am the one who bought my son a Kindle in order to feed his love for reading and learning. I bought him his Kindle, and the enemy found a way to come after him even there. Did you know that if you have a WiFi signal you can access the internet from a Kindle? Did you know you can access pornographic content on the Kindle from the internet? I didn't. I had no idea. But you can. You can, and your kids can and through the enemy can sneak right in and pounce on your kid and you won't even know it. Is he over in a corner intently reading and you think to yourself, "isn't that great." Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't, and it's sure as HELL important you know for sure.

The enemy has come to steal kill and destroy, and my kid is on his hit list. I have news for you, your kid is on his hit list too. This morning I was ready to wash my hands of things. In my flesh I was ready to give up. But even as I sit here and I warn all of you reading, I KNOW I have to fight for my kid. He's a good kid. He has known the Lord, loved the Lord and served the Lord, and the enemy still has come in and taken him down, but I will not let him be destroyed. I have to fight for my kid, this is a war over his soul. And whether you know it or not, if you love your kid, you're in a war fro his too.

To be continued.

Mom Ditty

2011-09-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

I really want to blog right here,
But I don't know what to say.

Sometimes it feels like life goes by in seasons,
Instead of day to day.

We are not counting time in minutes,
Nor even days or hours.

We're just shifting through this season,
Like the blooming of a flower.

We're counting days before us,
More carefully than those behind.

Little things stay the same,
But big things redefined.

Football fills our afternoons,
School fills all our days.

Weekends are all different,
Yet very much the same.

Kids are growing up too fast,
Why was I ever in a hurry?

Thankful for the peace I have,
Amidst so many reasons to worry.

The waters have been rough some days,
But our Anchor stays secure.

And though I find a lot of questions,
Of what's important I am sure.

God has got His hand on us,
And He's leading us through this season.

And when I wonder where the peace comes from
I remember He's its reason.

I really want to blog right here,
But I don't know what to say.

So I'm going to rejoice in the Lord,
And thank Him for this day.

By Diana DePriest
© September 25, 2011

Read this post: PARENTS BEWARE - Prowling Lion Part 2 (click to go)

Prowling Lion - Part 1

2011-09-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, my oldest was at a small school. His junior high had maybe 20 people. His 8th grade class when he "graduated" was only 8 kids. It was an extremely small group.

At that time MySpace was a bigger deal, and Facebook was just coming onto the scene. Maybe it didn't even exist at all, I can't actually recall. But I remember not allowing my son to have a MySpace. I was appalled at the things I saw there, and there was no way I was going to allow him to be exposed. The only reason I was there was related to a reunion I was involved with.

While I was there though, I came across the MySpace pages of many of his friends from school. It was this small close knit Christian community of kids, I felt parental toward many of them. Truthfully, if you know me, I feel parental towards most young people, and I will parent any child in my presence if I think they need it. From correcting the random toddler who is not playing nice, to confronting the wayward teen that I see on the wrong path.

I saw so many kids in that season "on the wrong path," particularly with their MySpace profiles, that I really felt like I had to do something. So I asked the middle school teacher if I could have an opportunity to talk to the girls in Jake's middle school.

I'd looked at their sexy and inappropriate pictures, saw them lie about their ages, read their provocative comments and statuses and I just couldn't NOT do something. I felt like I was watching them tie rocks around their ankles and getting ready to jump into the sea.

When I spoke to the girls I told them a story. I told them a tale of a lost masterpiece, left unattended, badly mistreated, its value unrecognized. It was a priceless treasure and it was lost. I told them about the day the Master Painter found it again. I told them about how in his tender care he gently restored the damaged beauty. He wiped away the grime and gross that had come to cover it, and he touched it up gently and carefully, making it as beautiful as ever. It was a slow and intense process but one worth the result.

I also told those girls my story. I had been like that masterpiece. When I was not much older than them I made choices and decisions that marred and damaged my beauty, and the beauty of the life that God intended for me. I was a mess by the time I committed my life to Christ at 22 years old.

The really sad thing about that fact is that I actually accepted Christ when I was just 12 years old. I remember the day I felt God tug on my heart. I remember walking down an aisle in a church that had once been an old walk in theater. I know when I asked God into my heart that day it was sincere. But when I got up and walked out there was no one there to come alongside me and teach me what that meant. And instead I slowly forgot about that moment in my life when my eyes were opened and I spent the next ten years walking away from the Truth.

It wasn't hard to do. Everything around us beckons a young heart to the fun of the now and the payoff of immediate gratification. The problem with being a teenager is you have way too much power and not enough sense.

It breaks my heart. If someone had come alongside me and discipled me, taught me what it was to follow the Lord, maybe I wouldn't have made the huge mistakes that I did. But I am one of the lucky ones, because I found my way back to the Master Painter, and he did a restoring work in me. But to think that that means there were no lingering consequences to my choices is wrong. There are decisions that I made at 16, 17, 18 and 19 years old that this 41 year old woman still has to live with. Has God used them? Yes. Would I even say it was worth it? Yes, but only because of the good I know God has used it for in the life of others.

And that is my heart, whenever I randomly parent any child in my presence. I am okay with being a tough love mom with whatever kid comes close enough to me. And I have done my very best most of all to be the diligent mom who watches over her own like a hawk. I have done my very best to keep my kids from the gross and the grime of this world that damages the soul. I thought I was doing a good job of discipling my own kids, and any kid who gave me the opportunity to speak into his/ her life.

The Bible says that Satan is like a roaring lion prowling about to take people down. I thought I was on the lookout. I thought I was doing a good job of coming alongside my kids. I thought I was doing things right, I know I was trying, and yet that lion almost took one of my kids down.

To be continued...

What a Difference a Week Makes

2011-09-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it was a week ago today that I dropped my little two off for their first day of 4th and 5th grade. It seems like so, so, so, so, so much longer than just a week. Did I include enough "so's" to make my point? I had no idea when I took this photo last Wednesday morning, how different things would be today. The old saying, "what a difference a day makes," well, let me just say, a week will blow your mind.

I am ~~happy~~ thrilled to report that so far I am really pleased with the way school has started off for the younger two. (Can't really call them little anymore, can I?) Victoria has Ethan's teacher from last year, and we had such a great relationship and connection that we are transitioning in beautifully to our second year of parent/teacher partnership. Ethan's teacher is new to the school this year, but so far I love her! She is big into communication, and that is HUGE for me. She is very friendly, we're already on first name basis, and I can just tell Ethan will do really well in her class, and I already appreciate how open and receptive she is. And icing on the cake for this school year so far is that Ethan made the JV football team. He had tryouts Monday after clinics last week and Tuesday morning with bated breath we went upstairs to find his name on the roster. I think I was more nervous than he was, but making the team is a total answer to this mama's prayers for her boy.

A week ago we were members of the same church we had belonged to for almost 20 years. Neal was in ministry, Jake was in ministry, the kids were plugged in and connected, today, none of those things are true. You can read a little more about that on my "personal faith blog" by clicking here. And truthfully, it's not a bad thing, but it is a very difficult thing, nonetheless. Things seem to indicate we may have already found a new church, and they would certainly be counted among the blessings of this past week, but it doesn't change the fact that we don't really have relationship there yet, and we we are not established. So even though all indicators are good, and things look pretty promising on that front, we are still in the midst of change, and a HUGE transition. Our church has been our family for the last 20 years, and though some love us despite our decision, not all do, and we're still walking through the minefield of the aftermath. When you leave a church, some people take it very personally. And on that note, some people don't take it personally enough.

And finally, we find ourselves in the midst of unexpected crisis. Hmmm. I guess a crisis is unexpected in nature, but this one really threw us for a loop. Although there will be more said about the specifics of it eventually, we are not there yet. But it's very hard to be in that kind of situation when you are in the midst of transition and much of your "normal" has been removed. We know God is with us, and we know He is directing us, but just because we "get it," doesn't mean we're all that happy about it.

As I type this, I am thinking about our family verse. When it came to me at first, it was as a confirmation promise about the daughter God promised me. It's the verse that Victoria's name comes from. Later it was a promise we were reminded of and held on to in the midst of our battle for Ethan. It was during that season that I felt God was assuring me that the verse was not just for Victoria, but for all of us. So I think today, I will meditate on it.

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
1 John 5:4

Oh how grateful I am for the Word of God, it is an anchor in life's storms.

On that note, if you haven't already, sign up for My Walk of Faith's 100 Verse Challenge on Facebook. Learning the Word of God and hiding it in our hearts strengthens our soul. I have never been more aware of the importance of having God's word readily accessible in your heart. I have to say I have searched the Word in a scramble for hope and I have had hope rise up from the Word already within my heart, and the latter is better. I highly recommend you consider joining us on this adventure. Here are some links to help you find out more:

The "What" of the 100 Verse Challenge: Click Here.

To JOIN the Challenge, RSVP on Facebook: Click Here.

And to find out about this week's verses: Click Here.

Senior

2011-09-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

Ssshhh... You NEVER saw this picture. I wasn't supposed to take it. But the rule follower in me lost the battle against the sentimental mom who rarely rises up. Mom had the cell phone surreptitiously placed, and she snapped the shot.

This was the one that really got me though. My graduate. Granted there are 281 days till he will wear his cap and gown for real, but 281 days don't seem like nearly enough. I can't believe we're here already.

This moment for me seemed sort of surreal. As I sat alone watching him off in the distance, I felt the separation that is coming as he enters into manhood. My role in his life is slowly transferring to one of an observer rather than an authority. We're not quite there, but it is coming. Jacob will forever be my son, but the baby I held disappeared into a little boy, the little boy grew to adolescence and the adolescent is fast becoming a man. Far too fast.

This morning I sent him off. As I stood taking this picture, I literally was flashing back in my mind to taking his first "first day of school" picture some 13 years ago. I cannot believe how the time has gone by, and the experience is so different. I remember being so proud of how brave he was on his first day of kindergarten. I remember counting the hours till noontime when could pick him up. This morning was very different. My presence wasn't even necessary, already I am just on the sidelines of much of his life.

I took my pictures and headed into the house back to bed. The younger two don't start till tomorrow. As I lay there my emotions were churning inside. Suddenly I found myself running back outside to catch him. I grabbed him in a big bear hug and began to pray over him, over his day, over his new school year, over the rest of his life.

Somehow when I wasn't looking, my baby disappeared into a treasured memory. I became the mother of a young man of whom I am extremely proud. I hugged him as tighly as I could, held on for an extra moment, and then I sent him off.

When I went back into my bedroom, I pulled Facebook up on my phone. Jacob's status said, "Senior Year, here I come!"

Typing slowly I commented, "Go get 'em baby!"

The Challenge

2011-08-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

This is a duplicate of the post over on my personal blog, My Walk of Faith. Both sites are co-sponsoring this Challenge.

“Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.
Deuteronomy 11:18-21

I've been thinking about this passage of scripture A LOT lately. I just feel like when Jake was little, and our "only" child, we just did a much better job of instructing him in God's Word and His ways. Something about two kids in ten months rattled us and we never really fully recuperated. (There's lack in the manners instruction too for that matter.)

But, the Word of God seems far more pressing. And don't get me wrong, they aren't total heathens or anything, in fact Ethan blew me away recently as he gave me a passage of scripture to pass on to a friend and he nailed the perfect passage. And all the kids have always had Christian education, so scripture is a regular part of their lives not only at church and home, but at school too. And yet, there can never be too much.

So today I came across this book: "100 Bible Verses Everyone Should Know by Heart" by Rober J. Morgan, and I was inspired. I thought to myself, what a terrific challenge! I want to memorize the 100 verses. At first I thought how cool it would be to memorize 100 verses in 100 days, and then I thought about the fact that that was a completely crazy goal, especially the first time out. So I got my wits about me and thought about the fact that there are 52 weeks in a year, so the math was close enough and reasonable enough that we could do on average 2 a week and have the whole 100 verses memorized in a year.

I'll be honest, the year thing makes me want to start at the beginning of a month or even the beginning of a year, but tomorrow is too soon and January is too far, and for that matter so is October, so I decided to blow off the Type-A organized tendency, and I'm starting on the 11th of September. (That's the eve of the first full week of school for my clan.)

So, if you know me, you also know I am a big believer in "the more the merrier" concept, so why not invite all my Christian Facebook friends... and any of their Facebook friends. And then I thought to myself, why not introduce the idea to my bloggy world peeps as well. So here is your invitation. Click HERE if you belong to Facebook to head over and join the Challenge.

Think about it. You really can't go wrong even for trying. Let's say you only complete 10%. In a test in the real world that might be an utter failure, but in this case, you've learned TEN SCRIPTURES! WIN! 10X over! And if you manage the whole 100, what a beginning that could be to a lifetime habit of learning and memorizing the Word! And you can include your family like I plan to mine and you will bless and grow your kids in the process! AWESOME!!

So I hope you'll join us. Head over, sign up and get the rest of the details.

How can a young man cleanse his way?
By taking heed according to Your word.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blessed are You, O LORD!
Teach me Your statutes.
Psalm 119:9-12

A Re-KINDLE-d Love

2011-08-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

For Christmas I bought my oldest a Kindle, though I really didn't see the point. Fortunately for me my mother had no idea about my attitude about the device, because she bought one for me as well.

I wasn't all that excited, didn't think I'd probably even really use it.

When I was younger, pre-kids, I was a HUGE reader. I used to consume books constantly, before I was a Christian I was especially big fan of Stephen King. But when I got saved I lost my desire for the horror genre, and I traded Stephen King novels for Max Lucado books, and I read his Christian inspiration like crazy as I began to grow in the Lord.

When Jake was little I still read a decent amount, but after my Irish twins showed up, I laid books aside and for the last decade most of my reading was limited to my Bible, and maybe an occasional Christian growth book, like one or two in an entire year. As for reading fiction or biographies for entertainment, with the exception of a few spurts of reading, I had laid one of my favorite pastimes completely aside. I laid it aside for so long, truth be told, I didn't even miss it anymore. I had forgotten.

And then came my Kindle.

Since Christmas I have read 20 books and counting and my love for reading has been completely re-KINDLE-d...

A Very Special Delivery by Linda Goodnight was my first, it was a pleasant enough story, the key to my purchase was price. The cheaper the better. And free was perfect!

Fools Rush In (Weddings by Bella, Book 1) by Janice Thompson was my second book and the first time I got sucked in to buying sequels. It was a fun read, but I still haven't read the other two books of the series, but I did buy them, and I will eventually get to them, though this first book is likely to get re-read at this point.

Along the way I learned about a couple of pages on Facebook that help you find free and cheap Kindle books: Pixel of Ink which lists all sorts of free and discounted titles and Inspired Reads which specializes in Christian fiction and non-fiction and other inspirational reads. (Click on either of the links to check out the Facebook pages for yourself.)

I've read some really good autobiographical books:
I’m Not Really Blind, I Just Can’t See by Joseph Ransom
Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman (SO GOOD! I HIGHLY recommend this!!)
And just today I finished When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakeable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances by Carol J. Kent.

I have had a couple books that I have struggled to actually get all the way through, though I blame the reader more than the read:
Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You Are Going: Learning How to Live a Joyful Spirit-Led Life by Joyce Meyer and Gray Matter by David Levy (it's autobiographical, by a surgeon, and why he believes what he sees medically proves the existence of God and how he includes his faith in his practice.)

Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan was the only book I got for free that I actually felt like I got what I paid for. It was the only book where I felt like I'd wasted my time.

Her Last Letter by Nancy C. Johnson, Divine by Karen Kingsbury, The Year She Fell by Alicia Rasley, The Pastor’s Wife by Jennifer Allee were all good stories that held my interest and were worth my time.

My favorite fiction read though was the Chronicles of the Kings series by Lynn Austin. The first of the series Gods and Kings was a free book I found through Pixel of Ink. It completely drew me in and over the course of the month I read the entire series of the five books. I paid about $5 each for books 2-5, and they were totally worth it. They were GREAT reads, and I HIGHLY recommend them, but unfortunately for some unknown reason Book #1 isn't even available as an e-book anymore. So if you want to read the series, you'll have to find an actual copy of the first book of the bunch (but I would say, go for it. Totally worth it.)

My favorite two books that I've read since Christmas though are the devotional Jesus Lives by Sarah Young and a book called Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole which was a book recommended by a friend that I would easily define as life changing. I paid $9.99, which is the most I've paid for any book, and was totally worth it.

Today I started The Devil in Pew Number Seven by Rebecca Nichols Alonzo which was one of my purchased books. It's an autobigraphical, true crime Christian book, and I am very excited to read the story.

I also have several copies of the Bible on my Kindle and some fun brain games as well. I absolutely LOVE my Kindle, and even to you "I want to hold a real book" nay sayers I suggest you give it a shot, I was beyond a skeptic and now I am totally hooked. I HEART my Kindle! Which is a good thing, because I currently have 217 books on it! (And for the record, I got most of them for FREE!)

For those of you who want the easy version of review, here's all the books I've read these past few months with my 1 to 5 star rating:

When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakeable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances by Carol J. Kent 3.5 Stars

Gods and Kings - Chronicles of the Kings #1 5 Stars
Song of Redemption - Chronicles of the Kings #2 5 Stars
The Strength of His Hand - Chronicles of the Kings #3 5 Stars
Faith of My Fathers - Chronicles of the Kings #4 5 Stars
Among the Gods - Chronicles of the Kings #5 by Lynn Austin 5 Stars

Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman 5 Stars

Her Last Letter by Nancy C. Johnson 3 Stars

Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan ZERO Stars

Divine by Karen Kingsbury 4 Stars

Becoming a Woman of Freedom by Cynthia Heald 4 Stars

Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You Are Going: Learning How to Live a Joyful Spirit-Led Life by Joyce Meyer 4 Stars but I need to read more...

Fools Rush In (Weddings by Bella, Book 1) by Janice Thompson 4 Stars

The Year She Fell by Alicia Rasley 3 Stars

I’m Not Really Blind, I Just Can’t See by Joseph Ransom 4 Stars

The Pastor’s Wife by Jennifer Allee 3 Stars

A Very Special Delivery by Linda Goodnight 3 Stars

Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole 5 Stars

Jesus Lives by Sarah Young 5 Stars

Pull the Brakes

2011-08-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here alone, it's late and all my family is asleep.

I can't believe it's the 13th of August. This summer has just been blazing by.

I'm counting down the days of summer remaining, and there's a little catch in my throat.

My baby registers for his senior year in high school in just over a week.

I remember this particular summer a long time ago. I remember when Jake was so little calculating the year he would graduate from high school. 2012 seemed like such a long way off, and now we are almost there.

I feel myself looking around for the emergency brake. Like a wire on a train, I want to reach up and grab it and slow everything down, or better yet, bring it all to a screeching halt.

I'm thinking a lot about his 18th birthday that's just a few months away. I'm thinking about his last year of high school. I'm thinking about so many of his firsts that are just up ahead, first job, getting hi license, starting college.

He'll be making life changing decisions soon on his own and his dad and I will be taking a step back in his life from the position of authority we've held for almost 18 years. I find myself running through my mind, have I told him all I wanted to? Have we instructed him well? Have we equipped him?

I catch myself watching him more. I like my son. He's kind and compassionate, he is strong in his convictions, he's a happy and pleasant person. As his mom he honestly drives me crazy sometimes, so aware of his shortcomings and idiosyncrasies, but when I can step out of that "raise him and train him" mom mindset, he's someone I'd want as a friend.

And so when I look at him, I wonder if he feels the same way. Between the parenting and correcting, has he learned to like me too? Because honestly, there is a tiny part of me as a mom that wonders, will he leave and never come back? He's still here, but it makes me start to miss him already.

When I look back on my own life, I honestly remember it as having been just 17, finishing my junior year, and it felt like I blinked and I was 30, married and a parent. And it makes me look into my own 17-year-old's eyes, and I'm fearing the same blink. The time has just gone way too fast.

I can close my eyes and with Jake I can remember his first steps, his first word. It seems so long ago, and its seems like yesterday. It was just a blink of the eye.

By the end of the year both of my other babies will be ten. I don't even have any "little" kids anymore. I can see the very earliest signs of womanhood in my daughter, her body slowly changing, seeing curves that weren't there before suddenly forming. Yesterday morning as I was walking my Ethan came up and took my hand. His hand is as big as mine. I remember when he was little how I would grip his hand to keep him safe. Now I can feel the beginning of the strength in him that may someday actually be protecting me.

How in the world did this happen? How did we get here, and why did the trip have to be so fast? I know whenever we've gone on trips as a family, we've often noted how the ride there seemed so much longer than than the ride home. Coming back the way you came always seems so quick. This trip is very different though, it's going very quickly, even without a clearly defined destination, but unlike any other trip we've taken as a family, with this one, there won't ever be any going back to where we were. We'll never truly go "home" again.

So as I realize fully that this trip is just one way, I find myself taking in every moment to the best of my ability, not wanting to miss a moment, trying to preserve every memory as best I can. And I find myself wishing I could just pull the brakes somehow.

The Drummer's Girl

2011-08-02T14:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I had the joy and privilege of getting to go watch my husband play a gig at the local Java Joes. He was sitting in with The PleasureTones, a band a couple of our friends from church are in.

Now, Neal gets to play the drums at church on a pretty consistent basis, but when he's playing worship, I don't really put a whole lot of my focus on the drummer. I mean, I love him a lot, but I don't worship him.

So Saturday night was fun. The band he played with was very talented, (I particularly enjoyed the lady singer) and I really enjoyed watching Neal proudly from the audience, and and it made me think about the past.

Twenty-two years ago Neal and I were at a point where we were deciding whether we wanted to be friends or more. Well, Neal was ready to make a decision, but I was interested in keeping my options open.

One night after hanging out I drove Neal home. As we pulled up outside his apartment he put himself out there and he asked me, "So, are you seeing anyone?" I smiled nicely and said. "I'm not seeing any ONE person." Shot down, Neal smiled and said, "OK," and made his exit out of my car.

Years later we talked about that night and he told me he was ready to walk away at that moment, he wasn't going to knock himself out for me or any other girl that didn't think he was worth the commitment. As I drove away that night I remember feeling a little nervous like maybe I had just taken a big risk, and I had no idea what I might be letting go of, but I just wasn't quite ready to settle down.

The next day I was working the counter at my waitressing job when Neal's good friend came in and sat down. When I went to offer a friendly greeting, I was met with hostility. With a "how dare you" attitude Neal's buddy told me to stay the heck away from his friend. He told me Neal was a great guy and if I couldn't see that then I ought to take a flying leap (his words were... um... different) and he told me I better not dare break his friend's heart. Bottom line, his friend had told me to move on.

But later that day I got a phone call that a bunch of people were going to be hanging out at Bands West that night. Bands West was a rent by the hour music studio where you could bring your instruments and refreshments and hang out and jam for hours. I knew Neal would be there, and since I took his friend's dismissal as more or a challenge than an order to be followed, I decided to go.

If I close my eyes I can picture the moment I walked in the studio door and saw Neal behind the drums. He was playing some hard rocking song and was oblivious to my presence. I, on the other hand, had never been more aware of his. Truthfully I think it was in that exact moment that Neal won my heart forever, and I fell hopelessly in love.

It took about another week before Neal put himself on the line again. Again I was driving him home. As I pulled up in front of his apartment he turned to me. "Will you be my girlfriend?" In one of the smartest moments of my life I said yes, and become the "drummer's girl," and to this day it's one of my favorite rolls to play.

He still makes my heart skip a beat when I watch him behind his drums. And when I can actually watch him the whole time he's playing, well, that's just really cool.

Summer or Slumber?

2011-07-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

My summer schedule at work is MWF - the kids are stuck home those days, and I am always praying to come home to less than a disaster. But Tuesdays and Thursdays, those are the days meant for summer fun. We bought Raging Waters passes and a parking pass to the beach with the intention of making the most of my two days off a week.

Who wouldn't want that?

So Tuesday I got up, had my devotional tme and waited for the kids to rise.

And waited...

And waited....

And waited....

At 11 AM - That's ELEVEN in the morning, and I finally had to go in after them...

Out like lights...

Sound asleep....

Seriously, like NO signs of life...

Barely a stir....

How does she sleep like that??

I finally got a rise.... doesn't he look raring to go??

He looks confused like that a lot...

I didn't think I'd ever get her to wake up...

But she proved she's always ready for her close-up...

And we were a lot later than I planned, but eventually I got to my happy place...

Ahhh..... summer..... How can these kids sleep it away?

Buttcracks & Beaches

2011-07-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

In the car this morning with my three kids:

(Discussing V's shoe that she broke at Disneyland yesterday)

Ethan: You can fix a thong with hot glue.

Victoria: No you can't.

Ethan: Yes you can!

Someone (I plead the 5th): Yes you can, but it really causes havoc on the buttcrack?

(Concurrently)
V: (clueless) Huh? Boys: Oh Mom! (Or, er... oh someone!)

V: I don't get it? How does a thong mess up your buttcrack?

Boys: Grumbles and groans....

V: Seriously??

Me: A thong is also those panties that girls wear that are like a shoe lace up their buttcrack.

V: Is that what they wear at those "butt-tanning" beaches?

Me: Yes, that's what they wear at the the butt-tanning beaches.

Jake: More grumbles and groans.

V: Oh, is that the kind of beach Mr. Protecting-the-Innocent (or the Guilty) went to?

E: No, he went to a naked beach.

V: What's a "naked beach"?

Me: It's a beach that people go to naked.

V: So they go there naked?

Me: Well, no, they get naked when they get there, or they go to jail.

V: Is that the kind of beach Kris (from Charlie's Angels) went to?

Me: Yes, that's the kind of beach Kris went to. (Laughing) I love being a part of this family.

My favorite part of these crazy conversations (I should mic my family 24/7) is always this expression at the end:

I should mic my family and have us surrounded by video cameras.... we could totally have our own reality show...

Dear Ethan

2011-07-11T20:42:00.003-07:00

You are such a precious gift to me. God has used you in such a powerful way in my life to teach me the truth about His love. Adopting you was sincerely one of the best decisions I ever made in my life, and I know your dad feels the same way.

You are my Doodlebug, and no one else's. Grandma was telling me the other day about how she wishes you gave more hugs and kisses, and it made my heart swell to know that I am the one you give all your best hugs and kisses to. One of my favorite things in the world is to feel you run and throw your arms around my waist, and it fills my heart with joy to look down into your puckered face. I remember when you were very little, just two or so and you would never give me kisses. I remember walking you tot he nursery at church and you would drag me around into a private corner to give me my kiss because no one would see us there. I don't know remember exactly when you changed your mind about kissing your mom, but I am so grateful you did.

Yesterday as we walked into Home Depot, just you, your dad and I, I told your Daddy that you were the manliest man I know, and I meant it. I love the dichotomy of who you are, tender and strong, man and boy, love bug and warrior.

I love your work ethic. One of my favorite stories about you is the time when you were just four years old and your daddy was trying to dig a tree stump out on the side of the house. Daddy got distracted for a while and you disappeared arond the corner. An hour or so later when we went around the side of the house to see what you had been up to, you had dug the whole stump up by yourself. You're not afraid to work, and you're willing to work hard, especially if it's for the benefit of another. It makes me so proud of your character.

My new favorite story is about when I fell and got hurt in the parking lot a couple of weeks ago. I laid there on the asphalt with a badly twisted ankle and a big bump on the back of my head. By the time I came to my senses, you were not only sitting at my side leaning over to check on me, but you had already gone into the ice cream shop and had a cup of ice in hand to treat my injuries. And you've been the one tending to my needs ever since. At the Angel game last week as everyone else hurried down to theparking lot, you were the one standing by my side, offering me your shoulder to help me and my gimpy leg down the hill, and that was just one of a hundred times you have walked up to me in these weeks as I've been healing asking if I needed to put my arm around your shoulder.

You are my knight in shining armor. When I burned my hand on the stove and cried out, you were the one to run to my side and ask if I was ok. When I fell last year at Raging Waters, I remember how it crushed you that I let Jake help me get back up instead of you. It's your nature to rescue, and I love that about you. Someday some girl is going to be very lucky when she wins your heart. She better always be kind to it.

Nothing blesses me more than to hear you pray. You pray with a wisdom and maturity that blows my mind. I am amazed at the way you have such a hear to keep people in prayer, I think of how faithful you, specifically, have been to pray for people we know who have been on missions trips, and you continue to pray for them even after they have returned. But it's no just your faithfulness in prayer, but it's also the way you pray, in the will of God and with the Word of God. I wish I could take credit, but I know that it is a gift that the Lord has instilled in you and it makes me wonder what His plans for you in the future hold. I know it will be wonderful.

You are such an incredible kid. And when your dad and I thought about adoption, we were very afraid of the process, but we told the Lord we wanted His will, so if it was His will for us to adopt, that He would drop it into our laps, and then came you, a gift from heaven, totally orchestrated by the Lord.

Of all the many gifts and blessings the Lord has ever given me, you are without a doubt one of the greatest. I am thankful every day for you and I am so glad God chose me to be your mom. You may not be a child of my body, but there is no question, you could not be any more a child of my heart than you are.

I love you, and I look forward to watching you grow into the incredible man of God I am already beginning to see.

Camp 2011!

2011-07-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Dropped my babies off at camp Wednesday afternoon. Their big brother was already there and waiting for them. He's on his 3rd (and probably last) year as a CIT - Counselor in Training. Next year if all goes as planned he'll be out of training, and a full blown counselor. I'm hard pressed to think of very many people who love camp as much as my Jake. I can think of one person, and since she got proposed to at the first campfire of this particular camp, I think she may edge Jake out on the fond memories, but barring her, I think anyone else would have stiff competition. Jake started talking about this camp on the way home from last summer's event.

My kids love camp. I hurt myself earlier this week so trekking down to their cabins was hard work, painful too, but it was something I just didn't want to miss.

Truth be told I don't think my kids would have cared whether I trekked down there or not. My little ones get so over the top excited about camp, I know they don't hesitate to leave me, and I doubt they miss me much while they are away. I might feel bad about that, but the truth is, I don't really miss them either, because I know they are in good hands and in for the experience of a lifetime. It's realy awesome to have such peace about leaving your kids for four days, because you know their leaders really love them and are looking out for them, and their whole hearts' desire is to give them more of Jesus.

Victoria got the counselor I prayed for, and I am sure she is learning about shining brightly with her "Glo" theme. Ethan is with the Rockstars, and I could not have asked for two better young men to be leading him. I know it will be all about being a star on THE Rock. And my Jake will be teaching his Hungry Men to hunger and thirst for the Lord. I am certain it has been a great time up at camp.

Tomorrow is pick up day. It went really fast here, I'm sure it went too fast there. But I'm also sure they had a wonderful time. I can't wait to hear about it. We'll be lstening to camp songs for weeks. And I'm pretty sure Jake will have his theme planned for 2012 by the time we get to the bottom of the mountain.

Summer

2011-06-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Summer is here.

We have our first family beach day under our belt, and our first sun burns to go with them. We won't be relying on spray sunscreen for first coats again.

We had our first bonfire too, and rekindled the love of s'mores... or in my case, just plain old roasted marshmallows.

We have our water park passes waiting, and as soon as the first sunburns improve, we'll be hitting the water parks. I'm hoping it will be later this week.

We're juggling the working mom schedule already, and computer problems at work have made it interesting. Three days working and two to play are better than most working moms get, so I am grateful.

The kids have had their first Disneyland Daycare day already, and 2 out of 3 of them can't wait to go back for more. (Disneyland Daycare = Mom dropping off the 3 kids with their annual passes, in hopes they are less likely to kill each other and surely unable to mess up the house when not home alone.)

I have already had two terrific meetings with my summer bible study group. I'm looking forward to Monday nights out by the pool digging in God's word together.

Summer kids camp countdown is in full swing, 3 kids gone for essentially 3 full days, and a half day bookending each end. I'm not sure who looks forward to summer camp more, the kids or the parents.

I don't know how many days there are actually in summer (but I am mentally taking note that I need to count them,) but it feels like they are already going too fast.

I feel sorry for Neal, for him summer just mostly means hotter days at work, but hopefully we can arrange enough weekend beach days and summer bonfires he'll feel the joy.

Well, we've wasted most of this summer day already, slow rising, but I should go find what summer fun remains in the day and grab hold of it before it slips away. This is Jake's last summer before he graduates! Time flies too fast, especially in the summer time.

Dear Jacob

2011-06-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, I sat in a darkened sanctuary watching your little brother and sister's promotion ceremony. I was sitting next to a mom I never met before, and very may well never meet again, and we talked about our kids.

She had a son who is in middle school and she was contemplating public vs. private Christian school for her son. You know I have always believed public school a better option, because I wanted you to have to face the ways of the world while you were still in our home and still under our control if you got off track. I never wanted you to face the temptations of the world when you had all the freedom to screw your life up. Public school in my mind would be a lot like letting you wade in the shallow end of the pool before you had to swim for your life.

We're three years through now, and I have to say, I think we made a good choice, and you are making me a proud mom with your swimming skills. Maybe you haven't done your best in all things, and recently you have even had a slip up that we had to talk through, but in the grand scheme of things, I am sitting on the side of the pool and I am proud of you. You have a beautiful "stroke," and you're getting to be a very "strong swimmer."

I bragged to you about this mom, and I warned her that I don't think Christian high schools are really any better, the temptations just may be hidden better. That's a little nugget I got from a friend who actually taught at a Christian high school when we were making the decision about where to send you. I gave my mom the argument and in the end she disagreed.

It was then I found out her middle schooler wasn't her oldest, he was her youngest, and she has two adult children who are in the world. She began to educate me on a few things, like how ALL kids will drink "like fish," and all kids will try drugs. She didn't say it, but I'm sure she believes all kids will have sex too. "And eventually they will come out of it," she told me. And she told me that her son doesn't go to church, and her daughter, who is headed to law school, is starting to come back on the occasional Sunday.

Son, can I just tell you? I don't accept that as truth for you. I don't believe you have to drink, and do drugs and have sex before you're married just because the world says you will, and the world says it is acceptable. I believe for you that you can and will be a man of character and integrity and you will make righteous choices, not because I taught you well, but because you love your God.

I don't accept that those decisions are inevitable. I believe you can and will be filled with the Holy Spirit, and you will abide in Him, and He will bear great fruit in you and you will be different than the world. I believe you can live a life that will draw people to your Savior Jesus. I believe the Lord wants to help you live that life. I believe you want that life for yourself- the life that says, "waiting is worth it," and "sowing good seed reaps good rewards."

I do not expect that you will be perfect, and that you will never make a mistake, but I do believe that you will walk closely enough to your Jesus, that He will never let you wander too far from the path He has for you. I expect to be able to poitn to you and say to Ethan and Victoria, "Look at your brother, swim like him."

I believe that the measure of success in your life will have nothing to do with your education or your vocation, but everything to do with your relationship with God and others. I believe that I will always be able to look at you and say, "My son, is an excellent swimmer, he has lived in the world, but he has affected it for Christ, more than it has ever been able to affect him."

I am excited for you and your final year of high school, it will be your last year swimming in the "pool" because soon there is an entire ocean for you to take on, and I believe with all my heart, your swimming in it will always make me proud.

Love,
Mom.

I'm not your friend

2011-06-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

Before I knew you, I thought our relationship would be all love, hugs and kisses. I thought I would bestow you with all my best wisdom and and you would soak in every word I spoke to you and it would lead you on a steady path of accomplishment and success. I thought you would think highly of me all the time, and realize just how smart I really was.

Then you showed up.

The hugs, kisses and "I love you's" are some of the best blessings of our relationships, and I have had the privilege of being front and center for almost all of your accomplishments and successes, but the truth is, most days when it came to you I didn't feel all that smart at all. Most days I second guessed at least half of everything I spoke to you, except the part about loving you, I love you more than you can even comprehend, because you don't have someone like you in your life yet.

But I'm not going to lie, it turned out to be a lot more like work than wonderful, our relationship together. And there were probably just as many days you were mad at me as you were enamored of me. I have to be honest though, that didn't bother me nearly as much as I thought it would.

I'm not your friend. It's not my job to overlook your mistakes and only see the good in you. It is my job to point out your weaknesses and do y best to help you overcome, or at least be aware of them. I have to speak some of the hardest words you may ever hear in your life, and the reason the job is mine, is because I do love you as much as I do.

I have to walk the road, back and forth between hammer and fan. When you need a dose of reality, and you are off track and heading for trouble, I'm gonna take you down. I'm going to yank you back so hard I may give you whiplash. If pulling you back means knocking you down, you can be absolutely certain I;'m going to do it. But when you are on the right road and headed for success, you can also be assured, no one will cheer as loud as I do, and no one believes more than I that you will get to exactly the place you are meant to be.

I'm going to be the one standing at your proverbial "shoulders" and when your posture falters and leads you offline, I am going to grab hold and direct you back, standing firm, walking tall, following after the One who decided you and I should have this relationship in the first place. I will be hot on your heals and whispering constantly in your ear, "Are you following Him? Are you going where He's leading?"

I will be your warden, your disciplinarian, even your conscience on occasion. I will be your nurse, your teacher, your cook and on as few occasions as possible, even your maid.

I will not be your friend.

I will love you more than you can possibly comprehend at this stage of your life. I will love you enough to make hard choices and let you even hate me if it feels better. I will love you enough to care more about who you are than what you think about me.

I will say no.

I will say not yet.

I will say the things you don't want to hear, but need to.

I won't tolerate less than you are capable of.

And I will love you, no matter what.

I will pray for you.

I will be here for you.

I'm your mom, and that's what I do.

Hornet's Nest

2011-06-01T10:48:00.001-07:00

I went to see Jacob in a "Student Showcase" last Thursday night. It was Neal and I, the little kids, my parents, my grandmother and my aunt. I almost didn't go because I was extremely unhappy with Jake about his grades, he'd been letting academic things slide again in preparation for the big drama performance. It's an ongoing battle with us, but in the end I was convinced I should go.

I wish I hadn't.

I wish I had not gone and exposed my little kids, much less myself to the profanity and sexuality that was portrayed on the stage that night. There should have been a giant sign on the door that said "PG-13," or maybe it should have said "Enter at your own risk." It definitely should have warned me that the content was mature (if you find talk about not "getting laid" and songs that spell out cuss words, mature.)

I should have gotten up after the first act. At least my kids would have missed the rape scene then. But I didn't.

I would have also missed the word out of my own son's mouth that I didn't want to hear. I don't think the character he called a "fatherless child" actually was a man with no dad, but apparently the Christian young man who wrote the one act couldn't find a better word to use for the emphasis he was seeking. Jake said he didn't know the word was "that bad," but I am pretty sure he missed the check in his spirit and just didn't pursue it far enough to find out just how bad it was.

I remember that word my Jake said, "the fatherless child" was the first curse word I ever heard on TV. I remember specifically as a kid being up really late while we were traveling and hearing it on a late night movie. I think I was just as shocked then as I was when I heard it Thursday night. When I was a kid I guess it was sort of exciting, but as a mom, it broke my heart a little.

It's sad to me that "entertainment" in the eyes of young people has to have an "edge." I think things can be dramatic without being profane. It is sad to me that kids aren't getting more direction in life, not from parents and not from teachers.

One Christian kids tried to make the point of the "freedom of speech" being the right behind profanity on a high school stage. I want to know, why does their freedom to express themselves supersede my right to protect myself and my kids from what I take in. As the old saying goes, "Garbage in, garbage out." If they came and threw actual trash on my yard I would have recourse, but when they assault my mind with it, I am a bigot if I complain. Being "open minded" is overrated. Dare I say it is a load of what the spelled out song was about. It's a lie from the pit of hell and people are swallowing it hook, line and sinker.

I've made myself pretty unpopular with the teacher for raising a stink about it. She called me at her principal's insistence, and it was clear that was the only reason she was calling. Now I am torn about whether or not to even let Jake be in a classroom with her next year. I've become a real irritant to the principal too. He "wasn't there," so he cannot speak to my complaints. He can't speak to them, but he did have to listen to them.

Really all I feel like I did though was stir up a hornet's nest. But I refused to not say something. I think we are where we are today because too many people sat in silence instead of declaring "filth and foul" as unacceptable. I can still hear Bill Cosby in his amazing comedy sketch, "filth and foul, filth and foul," it got the point across, I laughed heartily and in the end he didn't need his mouth washed out and I didn't feel like my ears or eyes had been assaulted.

I'm torn, I have made an uncomfortable position for my son having to face his teacher and maybe even the principal. Burt I know to the depth of my being that taking a stand against vulgarity and profanity in a high school production was the right thing to do. Right isn't always easy though, but that doesn't give a pass on doing it either.

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.
Proverbs 4:20-27

Lord, let that truth be written on my own son's heart, in Jesus' name.

What's going on...

2011-05-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

* Victoria is on her third round of antibiotics in the past month. First the ear infection, then strep, then within 48 hours of ending the regimen, strep was back. Super sucky too since we never missed a dose. They pulled out the $370 6 bottle worth of big doses this time, hoping it does the job.

* Neal is feeling much better. After a pretty good scare about his health, we discovered he had 3 infected teeth, but now he's getting those taken care of, and all the other concerning symptoms are going away too. (Huge PTL and hallelujah.)

* Jake is performing at school tonight. I don't know the full extent of what's going to be performed, but it sounds very eclectic. Looking forward to seeing him on stage again.

* Looks like Ethan may have had strep too prior to his trip to Sacramento with Neal (which was awesome, and I think still needs to be blogged on, but I wasn't there, so we'll have to see how I can work that one out.) He is my iron kid, and unlike his sister who can't beat strep without 2 doses of antibiotics beat it all by himself. But his fingers are peeling like post strep patients do. I'm praying he's not a carrier.

* I am STILL struggling with chronic pain in my shoulder blade and upper back. Regretfully coming to the conclusion that maybe it is permanent. (BOO!)

* I just got back from Women's Retreat and had a lovely time (but the beds definitely didn't help the shoulder issue.)

* Kids have their eyes looking toward camp. Jake especially is excited about being a CIT (Counselor in Training) again. Of course, Jake starts talking about summer camp around January. Ethan and Victoria are all fired up to go too. I'm excited that Neal and I may actually have a day off while they are gone this year! WOOT!

* School is winding down - the eldest has one grade he REALLY better be working hard to get up, but otherwise is finishing pretty well. Super proud of the little two who are both pulling A's and B's on their own (I am NOT a "do their homework for them" mom.) V only has one C in math, and when ever I encourage her to bring it up she says, "Yeah, but you hate the curriculum mom." Which is true, but careful what you tell your children.

* Summer is still up in the air, not sure what my hours will be, but hoping like last year I'll be able to work out a couple days a week off so the kids can actually be out in the sunshine a little. Though (much to Jake's glee) we did renew Disney passes, so some days that will be childcare.

How about you, what's going on at your house?

Danny's Song

2011-05-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

So I have shared here before about Envision, this great discipleship ministry/ bible study my husband and I facilitate in our home with our oldest son Jacob and his friends. We've been meeting going on two years now, and it is still one of my favorite things to do.

Our heart is to see the boys grow and develop their passions into purpose and ministry and help them see how their God-given talents and desires can be used to honor God, and give them abundant life.

Last week Neal and I were off work celebrating our anniversary and we made an unusual stop at the local coffee house. While we waited for our ice blendeds, we both saw a flyer on the cork board for a Christian blues artist named Darrell Mansfield. Neal and I had seen him play in our church many years before and both of us instantly thought of one of the boys in Envision, Danny.

Our regular meeting was scheduled for the upcoming Saturday night, the night of the show. We started to play with the idea of instead of having our usual event at our house, maybe we would take the boys on a "field trip" of sorts. The more we talked about it, the more we liked the idea. So we told the boys we were going to do something a little different and take them on a field trip.

Neal and I both knew Danny was going to get a real kick out of the show. In passing Neal said, "wouldn't it be cool if they called Danny up on stage to play a song with them?" To which I immediately scoffed at the idea and told Neal he was just being silly, that could never happen.

After Neal went to bed that night, I pondered the idea a little further and looked Darrell up on the internet. I found a contact link on his website and I sent them an email. It read:

Dear Mr. Mansfield (or appointed representative...)

I know this is a highly unlikely shot, but "you have not because you ask not." My husband and I do a monthly bible study called "Envision" with our teen son and a group of his friends. Our heart is to train them to lead and to serve in ministry. This Saturday was our scheduled meeting for this month, but we found out about your appearance at Main Street, and we decided instead to surprise the boys and bring them to see your show. One of the kids, a young man named Danny Hasbun, is a guitarist. He has a huge passion for Blues music, and we wanted to show him someone who has used their own passion to glorify God with their gift. That would clearly be you. My husband Neal and I are long time fans, and when we saw the ad for the show in our local coffee shop, we just felt like the Lord was leading us to take him to see you.

Danny is very talented and does a wonderful job leading worship and also writes his own music. During his time in our study he has really blossomed. We just think it would be really cool if maybe you could give him a shout out from the stage. Totally understand if you cannot, but thought it wouldn't hurt to ask.

The next morning, I got this reply from Darrell's manager:

Hello Diana,

I’m sure we can work out something special for Danny this Saturday. Would you please call me on my cell so we can discuss?

Eventually we did, and it was her idea to have Danny come up on the stage and play. We knew Danny would probably balk at the idea if we told him in advance, so we used our skills in top secrecy and even up until the night we got there, we were playing super sleuth.

So we brought those of the boys who were free, along with our other kids, to the restaurant where the show was being played. Danny was enthusiastic about hearing Darrell Mansfield play, an inductee into the Blues Hall of Fame. The rest of the boys were into it, but I think they were kind of trying to figure out what the big deal was.

Everyone was all smiles as we ordered dinner.

We were all impressed with the guitarist Eric Turner, so was playing with Darrell.

And we watched him and Darrell play their first set.

Neal took Danny over to meet Eric during their first break.

When they came back out for the second set, Danny and a couple of the other boys moved over to get a better view. Neal had introduced Danny to Darrell and he almost let the cat out of the bag. A couple minutes into the set Darrell started to talk about his passion for younger musicians and how they even hold a weekly open mic night at the restaurant.

Then he said something along the lines of, "We don't usually do this on concert nights, but we'd like to ask Danny to come up and play with hus tonight." Danny was totally caught off guard, and I think in somewhat of a fog as he found himself suddenly on stage and being fitted to play Eric Turner's guitar that he had been admiring all evening.

The boys all went wild, and we cheered so loud as Darrell asked Danny to start off the song "Red House" by Jimi Hendrix.

Danny did an awesome job and Neal and I were so super proud of him.

Darrell is an amazing front man and such humility that opened his stage to young unknown.

They totally rocked it.

Danny was clearly in a state of shock, but it didn't hinder his skills at all.

Darrell seemed pretty impressed with the job Danny did and even said so later.

It was really cool for Danny to get to be a part of the band.

But they didn't give him Eric's job yet, he came back from his break. Danny was so blown away, it was really cool.

This is the amazing lady, Tina Paulson, Darrell's manager who helped us pull off this incredible adventure for Envision, and most especially for Danny.

The details of the night were cool too. Turns out the flyer we saw was the only flyer they had put it out. They advertise primarily via the internet, and on a whim while at the coffee house, someone had stuck up just the one flyer.

The night before Danny and I had a conversation on Facebook where he shared with me he had been feeling some conviction about the music he listens to, and he was sort of concerned God might take "the blues" away from him. I assured him if he was listening to the Holy Spirit, God would honor it. I also used that conversation to find out what songs Danny knew how to play.

As it turns out, Danny hadn't seen it, but a family friend had actually posted a Darrell Mansfield video on his Facebook page to introduce him to the artist's music. It was interesting that it occurred to him, and also interesting that Danny missed it until after the show.

People at the restaurant were blown away by Danny's talent, and so surprised to find out he has only been playing for a few years. One person in particular in the audience who was impressed was a woman who was from Concordia University. Before she left she gave Danny her card and told him she thought he might be perfect for their worship program at the school.

Tina, Darrell's manager also has some people she might like to set Danny up with, a young "up and coming" Christian blues artist. And Danny is planning and looking forward to coming back soon to the Main Street Restaurant and performing on open mic night soon.

But I have to say, this first night's performance will always be my favorite. I hope you enjoy it too.

Best Part of My Life

2011-05-13T09:44:00.001-07:00

Tuesday Neal and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

I am very proud, 20 years is a long time nowadays.

We spent the day before together at the spa, and I watched the "shock and awe" of many when we told them what we were celebrating. I'd like to think it was shock that I could possibly be married that long, but I am not so foolish. I know it was not my youth, but rather the length of our union that was surprising.

I remember when my dad and mom celebrated their 18th wedding anniversary and he gave her a ring. When he handed it to her he said "Too soon to brag, too late to complain." When they celebrated their 30th, he gave her another right and inscribed inside it said, "Time to brag."

In our generation, 20 seems like it comes with bragging rights too. People don't believe in marriage and monogamy anymore. People don't want to build, they just want to move into something and find it comfortable, and when it is no longer comfortable, they want to just walk away, victims be damned.

Marriage doesn't work like that. It takes two people willing to work and fight to make it last.

I love my husband.

He still turns me on.

Nothing sounds more appealing to me than hours alone to hang out with him, he is my very best friend.

According to my dad, who will celebrate 45 years of marriage with my mom in September, we may not have achieved bragging rights yet, but I sure am awfully proud of my marriage and my life with my husband.

There isn't a whole lot else I feel like is going my way. My kids are great, but they are just passing through. The rst of my life is very different than I would like for it to be (barring my relationship with the Lord,) but there is this calm in the storms of life for me that makes the worst days bearable and the best days beautiful because I am in love with a man who loves me back.

My marriage to Neal is the best part of my life. So I'm not bragging, mind you, but 20 years and two days ago, I made one of the best decisions EVER when I said I do. And I am so glad we did.

Looking forward to many more years together, and lots more spa days ahead with my very best friend, in Jesus' name.

MAY-king new habits

2011-04-27T13:12:00.001-07:00

So, it is my opinion that this whole parenting process is a work in process. (Duh! I know.) I mean seriously, there are no clear patterns or recipes that can be followed. Wouldn't it be nice: Take child, add hugs and kisses daily, Sunday school weekly, good education, regular baths; bake for 18 years and Voila - Productive, well-adjusted happy grown-up pops out of the "oven" ready to be served... or is it to serve?

It just doesn't work like that. The child is a big issue to start. I am the mother of three, two biological babies and one hand-picked, and so you might argue the two genetically linked might tend to be more similar, if not to each other, than to their parents! Well, couldn't be less the case at my house. Mt husband is constantly pointing to my "chosen child" and saying, "He's just like you." Unfortunately it's usually in ways that are driving me crazy, but I digress. The fact is, God put these little built in ~~glitches~~ characteristics that make them each unto their own.

Then you take the three personalities (all big at my house, by the way) and you add to it things like birth order, talents, temptations, senses of humor, likes, dislikes, etc., etc., etc. and in a LOT of ways, Nature kicks Nurtures butt, and you find that you aren't really parenting three kids, but you are parenting kids three different ways. BEWARE RABBIT TRAIL AHEAD: And for the record, that drives my younger two who are only 10 months apart absolutely CRAZY! I quote Jesus a lot on that one, I give Victoria a direction like "get ready for bed" and she always replies with "What about Ethan?" To which I quote in a paraphrase sort of sense, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.” (John 21:22) Seriously, favorite biblical parenting strategy EVER, "You do what I say, don't worry about him (or her)." Worked for Peter and the disciple Jesus loved, so it's good enough for the DePriest kids. END RABBIT TRAIL.

But seriously, everything is different and has to be directed to the individual. Discipline for example, "Time-out" was a great tool for Ethan it was like torture, for Jake it was ineffective (the boy likes being alone and in his own head); spanking with Victoria was futile, she'd just stare you down and tell you it didn't hurt, never a tear shed, much less would you find a path to repentance. So three kids, three discipline plans.

And likewise they all have their own strengths and ~~drive their mother batty~~ weaknesses. And helping them make changes is rarely successful when I approach it with a "let's all do ..." kind of pattern.

So I have decided to make May a month for making changes, better habits in their individual weak areas. (Some kids may be busier than others.) So May will be May-king New Habits Month.

I have till Sunday to fine turn the plan, but we will each be working in three categories: Holy Habits, Healthy Habits and Helpful Habits. There will be rewards each week for the kids who don't miss a beat, and if they make it the whole month, a bonus to boot. It won't be lifetime rewards, but it has the potential to do things like reinstate allowances (particularly if they get their Helpful Habits in order, and I won't have to rename Ethan "Hansel". Wait for it, it will come to you.

Holy Habits will involve personal time with the Lord, reading their bibles and doing devotionals (totally open to suggestions for the tweens, by the way.) Healthy Habits will be about things like wearing your retainer every day (not naming names) or flossing every day, or washing your face twice a day, etc. And Helpful Habits will be related to chores and picking up after themselves.

I'm excited because I think this whole thing is a God-inspired idea. I just hope I am consistent and good with follow through, because yes, Mommy needs to work on a few habits of her own!

I'll report back soon!

Easter Change-Up

2011-04-21T20:57:00.000-07:00

Hippity hoppity, Easter's on its way....

But after the great "Santa Exposure" last December, the Easter Bunny is not.

My kids sat in the wake of the confirmation that Santa was indeed really mommy, and the explanation why she never really allowed for the dawn arising on Christmas morn. Victoria was clearly a little frustrated with herself for having pulled back the veil. She sat on the chair in slight shock.

Jacob said, "Victoria, you realize that means the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy aren't real either right?"

She jumped up in shock, "WHAT??" It was hilarious. (Maybe you had to be there.) But I greatly enjoyed the fact that it didn't automatically click for her. But I am also happy to report despite the many Santa naysayers, she never for a moment questioned God's existence when the childhood fantasy ended. (Not that I ever thought it would.

But things in the DePriest household have changed as a result of the dose of reality. For starters when Ethan lost a tooth yesterday at church he walked right up to me tooth in hand and demanded a dollar. He actually requested two dollars, but I refuse to allow him to be one more effect on the economy. I offered him a dime, he was willing to walk away with the dollar bill.

So now the question is, what will the new Easter be? What is the alternative to me waiting for all the kids to go to bed after midnight (because even the big one isn't so foolish as to give up on a basket full of candy.) What will we do instead of me stuffing plastic eggs full of chocolate and jelly beans and decorating baskets with chocolate bunnies and plastic grass I will be cursing for weeks? What will we do rather than have me try to remember where I hid dozens of aforementioned eggs in my kitchen, living room and front yard while Neal dozes on the couch nearby (most years, yes he did.)

What will we do?

Well for starters I didn't spend as much money as I did most years. I bought early and on sale, and the goodies await in my closet for preparation and disbursement.

I know we're going to a church event Saturday late morning/ early afternoon, it's become a new tradition. But I think we will mix things up for the rest of the day. In a moment of weakness I bought the goods for egg dyeing (completely counter to my non-craft, can't stand the mess personality.) I figure they're big enough now to handle things on their own (how do you moms do this with 2 year olds??) and my kids are into it, so anything that gets the whole family around a table, I support.

Then when the craft madness passes, I think I'm going to put the kids to work. I think we'll stuff the eggs together and watch a movie. It's up in the air whether we will settle on Chronicles of Narnia or the Passion of the Christ. We may watch both. And then I think I'm going to share the hiding responsibilities too, everybody taking turns hiding the color coded eggs for their siblings, and then on Sunday morning... afternoon after church I won't have to rack my brain for the 49th egg's location.

Truthfully I'm looking forward to it. It'll be a fun transition into the new Easter era... it will all be different, everything except what really matters. Eachof my kids will still find an empty egg and when they do they'll shout out loud, "It's empty, the tomb is empty, Jesus has risen!" Because in the end, that's what the day is really all about.

Summer's Coming

2011-04-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

It's almost time for summer. It isn't really, but it is what I have decided to tell myself since my little kids' spring break is over. And I have to confess, I am really sad about it. I hate that their Christian school ran a spring break and not an Easter break, and I miss having it to look forward to.

I shouldn't complain though. Since their break didn't line up with Jacob's, I was able to validate working less and spending time with them. I didn't have Jake home as childcare. And I am certain Jake is happy about that because it means he won't have to spend his whole spring break babysitting.

It has me thinking ahead though. I need to plan for summer. It's two months away, which is longer than I'd like it to be, but not nearly as long as it sounds. For goodness' sake, we're almost half way through April 2011 already. How on earth did that happen??

Last summer was great. We bought water park passes at Raging Waters and had a blast going there every week and spending lots of time at the beach. I'm really hoping I'll have the same freedom in my schedule this year, but I'm just not sure. I'm also not sure my heavier body will be as up to it. Lots is still shaky around here. Uncertainty isn't fun.

I also have to decide about whether or not to renew our Disneyland passes. They expire in less than a month. For Jake I may as well be asking whether or not he'd like me to amputate a limb. Few folks love Disneyland as much as my oldest boy. It's typically a good investment, especially as a form of getting the kids out when Jake has to babysit 3 days a week while I work (Lord willing I get that schedule again). Then I have to decide about whether or not to renew just for the kids or for Neal and I as well. It's when you're making decisions like these that the uncertainty looms heavy yet again.

So I am looking forward to summer for the most part, but I'm not crazy about the questions I have to answer about childcare, work hours and summer entertainment. I miss my stay at home mom days. But I am grateful for the freedom I have that many don't. Believing in faith I will continue to have said freedom, but not too much of it. In his case too much free time in the summer could be a really bad thing.

I wish we had options for a summer trip but that's not in the cards, so I hope to make home as fun as possible. It will be here before I know it.

How about you? Is summer on your mind yet? What fun plans do you have in store? Or is this crazy economy putting a kink in your planning too?

A rose by any other name... Part 2

2011-04-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

If you missed part, and the back story you can read it now by clicking here.

So if you're caught up, you know I picked my oldest son's name out of ignorance. It's ok, I like the name and as I shared in my previous post, in the end it all balanced out. But when it came to naming future kiddos, I didn't plan on doing it without a little divine input.

Now, a little more "extreme spirituality" for you. During my healing process from my abortion, I was also dealing with infertility. I dealt with it for about 2 years after I rededicated my life to Christ.

One night during my healing process dealing with the sin of my abortion, I was having a particularly low night. I was in the car with my husband and was having a bit of a pity party inside my own head. I remember the exact stretch of freeway we were on as I was thinking to myself,"I'm never going to have kids, I am always going to be childless."

All of a sudden I heard as clear as a bell in my mind, "You will have a daughter." It was so clear in fact, I thought I had heard it with my ears. This event was prior to the a I heard Him whisper the name "Heather Renee" to my heart. I was a knew Christian, and I was just learning about the reality of a God who speaks. I turned to Neal and asked him, "What did you say?" He shook his head at me, "Nothing." As I sat there the understanding of Who had spoken to my heart was realized and I treasured what was spoken in my heart.

Now there are people who can testify that I have spoken about these events many times, and often before they ever came to pass, but I realize this may be a bit much for many. No apologies though, it happened.

Despite the fact the Lord had spoken specifically to a "daughter" being born, almost from the moment I found out I was pregnant with Jacob I knew he was a boy. I never felt like he might be the girl God had promised. And I was thrilled but not surprised when Jake got here. "It's a boy!" they said, and I got exactly what I expected.

What I didn't get after Jake was born was a sense that my family was complete, and by the time he was about 2 I was getting pretty impatient for God to answer His promise for my little girl. But I needed to settle in for a good long wait. I got pregnant once after Jake was born when he was about a year and a half, but miscarried around 8weeks. It was not the season of the Promise, it was a season of a Purpose.

For my 25th birthday I got my first computer. Not long after I began my first internet ministry. I led a group called PAWSE - Post-Abortive Women Support and Encouragement. It was the "Ground Floor" of a pro-life ministry I ran for about 2 years called Saving Grace Ministries.

During that time I did a lot of counseling and evangelizing via the internet while a stay at home mom of a toddler. All the while, I continued to treasure Go's promise in my heart. One day I was counseling with a particular women online and I had my Bible open on my lap. I was sharing the scripture with her, typing quickly in a "chat room" (boy would Skype have been convenient back then!) I typed this verse:

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
1 John 5:4

All I can tell you was that it was a supernatural moment. The word "victory" seemed to jump off the page. I knew it was my daughter's name. It wasn't long after that I was reading my bible in a devotional time and another scripture jumped off the page.:

For it is written:
“ Rejoice, O barren,
You who do not bear!
Break forth and shout,
You who are not in labor!
For the desolate has many more children
Than she who has a husband.”
Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are children of promise.
Galatians 4:27-28

Rejoice, He said, my kids would be children of promise. What an awesome word! And as I sat there staring at the page, I knew her middle name was to be "Gayle" for the book of Galatians. (It is NOT for my aunt whose middle name is Gail, she's the one who resented me having her first name, so I definitely did NOT name my daughter after her.)

So I knew she was coming, I was super anxious and ready, and I bugged the Lord about it A LOT! In fact, I bugged him all the time. I remember where I was standing in the church when I was outright nagging him in 1999. "Lord," I said, "I'm READY!" And clear as a bell, I heard Him say "It's not about when you're ready, it's about when she's called." To be honest He said it in such a way that He shut me up. I never bugged Him about it again.

About a year later though, we did get impatient enough for more kids that we had started batting around the idea of adoption. But to be honest, we were total chickens about the process. So we told God, "We're willing, but if you want us to do it, you're going to have to drop it in our laps. And in the fall of 2000 He did.

I was at Jake's piano lesson when my cellphone rang. My pastor's wife was on the other end of the line. She asked, "Have you and Neal ever considered adoption" Long story short (I know, too late,) that baby fell through but on the same day it did Ethan's mother came along and through our pastor's wife we connected and the process began.

I never for a moment thought the child we would be adopting was the promised Victoria Gayle. I just knew that child would be of my own body. (Not that that makes any difference in how I feel about my kids, but I knew part of the victory was conquering the infertility.)

One day a couple months into the process of preparing for E's arrival, I went upstairs at work to look up a name. Now well aware of the importance of meanings, I wanted to know what the name Elijah meant. I loved the name and had decided if our coming child was a boy I'd like to name him Elijah James. I clicked on a website for baby boy names and all the E names scrolled up onto the screen. As I skimmed the page the name "Ethan" stood out.

When I say stood out, what I actually mean is it seemed to almost leap off the screen and floating before me with imagined neon arrows pointing at it, it seemed to scream "THIS IS IT!!" And I said it out loud, it rolled off my tongue.

"Ethan. Ethan Mitchell DePriest." I knew it was his name. I looked it up, Ethan meant "permanent" according to that site. And Mitchell is my grandmother's maiden name. As much as I am against the whole "naming after" deal, I thought this was a great exception, to give an adopted child a family name. I looked it up. Mitchell is a derivative of Michael and means "Who is like God?" Loved it! I walked downstairs and told Neal "the baby is a boy and his name is Ethan Mitchell." He just smiled and nodded his approval. He's never been one to question when I told him God had spoken to my heart.

A couple night later I was on the phone with E's birthmom and she asked me about baby names. I told her the girl name we had picked out and then I told her "If it's a boy, we're going to name him Ethan Mitchell." The silence at the other end of the phone was deafening. "Do you hate it?" I asked.

"No," she said quietly, "if I kept him, I was going to name him Ethan Michael." Hello confirmation.

I had no idea at the time that Ethan's name was a promise. His adoption process was long and arduous. It took over 3 1/2 years to finalize on him. There were many stressful days during those years that we were very close to losing him. I held to the promise of the name God had given me for him, and I reminded God, "You said he was permanent."

There were many nights I would go in a he was sleeping and pray over him, begging God not to take him from us, reminding Him of Ethan's name and its meaning. I forgot to mention that little Miss Victoria Gayle showed up just 10 months after her brother (not quite 10 months actually.) And so when I would labor and cry over Ethan reminding God of His promise, then I would slip into my daughter's room to pray of her, and God would remind me of His faithfulness. It took nearly 10 years from the time He told me she would be coming until she actually showed up, but He had kept His word with her, and I trusted He would with Ethan as well, and He did.

So God proved in His unchanging ways that names are indeed important, and when God gives one, the meaning is paramount.

So a rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but God is purposeful, even in the details, and that is the story behind the names of my children Jacob Daniel, my Prayer; Ethan Mitchell, my Present; and Victoria Gayle, my Promise.

A rose by any other name... Part 1

2011-04-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

Names matter. Biblically they are very significant. Not just people's names, but the names of God. Names matter.

I learned that in 1996 sitting in a home bible study. Our pastor sited all sorts of biblical support for it, and explained to us how he used that principle to name his own children. I remember specifically one daughter of his named Destiny Nicole. Destiny is obvious and Nicole means "conqueror." He named his daughter with the purpose of her becoming one "destined to conquer." Cool right?

I was the mom of 1 birthed child at that point, but I had 3 children who died before they were born. One child that I had aborted before I was a Christian and 2 that I had lost in miscarriage, one before my son as born, and one after.

All of my children had names. When I dealt with my abortion after recommitting my lift to Christ, I went through a bible study that dealt with my sin and led me on the path to forgiveness. (You can read more of that testimony on my other blog, My Walk of Faith.) Part of that process was at the end to give a name to the aborted child. My leader had recommended we pray and ask the Lord to help us name that unborn child. She specifically recommended I name both that child and my miscarried baby, because it was through that miscarriage that God got my attention and brought me back to Himself.

OK, I know I have already lost some of you- I can since the dismissal of a hyper-spiritual tale, but it's my tale and it's how it happened, so bear with me. At the time I was a new believer and I myself was doubtful God would actually speak to me at all, much less about this, but I was also too new not to believe, so I prayed. I remember EXACTLY where I was, pushing the vacuum cleaner when I "heard" the names go through my head.

"Heather Renee," I heard- and I remember thinking, "Who's that?" Honestly I wasn't over the moon crazy about the name. Then I realized it was the answer to what I had been praying about. It was the name of my aborted baby. At the end of the bible study we had sort of a ceremony, sort of like a funeral, but no really, but it was a permission to grieve the loss of the children we had not allowed to be born. As I was participating in the ceremony, that's when the Lord spoke again, and for my miscarried child He gave me the name "Mark."

Truthfully, other than feeling I had been told the gender of my lost children, I didn't give it a whole lot of consideration until that night in 1996. By then our son Jacob Daniel was 2.

Jacob's name was chosen simply out of my and Neal's agreement. We both liked the name. Up until just before his birth, we talked about giving him the middle name Darrin after Neal's older brother. But I was named after both of my aunts, and my Aunt Diana honestly always seemed to resent it. My grandmother thought it would be too confusing to me to have two Dianas, so she took to calling my aunt Sissy, and she was far more resentful of that than she was ever honored by my dad's decision to have me named after her. So it put sort of a bad taste in my mouth. Neal really liked the idea of calling Jake "JD" (he was a Jack Daniels fan once upon a time) so I just slowly started referring to Jacob Daniel rather than Jacob Darrin over the course of my pregnancy and by the end of the nine months it stuck. (We waited to be surprised whether Jake was going to be Jake, a boy, or Melody if he was a girl, but in my heart I always knew he was my Jake.) JD never stuck except for a brief season in junior high when there were 3 Jacobs, be we never called him that.

So here was the night in 1996 and all of a sudden my curiosity level was high, since names were not only significant, but technically, GOD had named 3 of my kids. By then, he had named the child I miscarried after Jake as well. His name was "James."

So after bible study that night in 1996, I hurried home to "google" equivalent (yes there were computer searches pre-google) the meanings of my children's names. First was Jacob Daniel. "Jacob" means "the deceiver." It actually means "to usurp by questionable means" it also means "heal catcher." My reaction was sort of a "gulp"... oops. And then I looked up Daniel, which means "God is my judge." My reaction was "Phew!" because if my boy is gong to ever struggle with being deceptive (which he sometimes has) at least he will know Whose eye is upon him, and Who he will be answering to. I still like his name, even if the meaning isn't the absolute best.

Then I looked up the name "Heather." It's a shrub, which didn't tell me much, so I went beyond looking up the baby name, and actually looked it up in the dictionary. "Heather" means "wasteland." It hit me like a ton of bricks. My aborted baby girl, and God had named her "wasteland." Could it be more appropriate? So I moved on and looked up Renee. It means "born again." Could this child have been named any more appropriately?? Her life was "wasted" BUT it was through her loss that I had turned my life back over to Christ - I had become "born again."

So I quickly looked to the meaning of the name "Mark." When I looked it up originally, the meaning I found was "hammer." That too seemed beyond appropriate. It was through his death (the pregnancy was very wanted and I was devastated by the loss) that God hit me over the head to get my attention and draw me back to my very desperate need for him. When I came I came like a woman who had been hit hard. Mark fit.

I was blown away by how profound my children's names were. There significance was great. Interestingly though, the child I miscarried after Jake the Lord gave me the name "James." James is a derivative of the name Jacob, so it has the same meaning. There is no great revelation in that, except that we were not really ready for another baby when we lost that one.

I was moved profoundly though by the importance of baby names, and it was a lesson well learned because in the future, it would definitely come into play again.

To be continued....

Click for Part 2.

41

2011-03-28T20:34:00.001-07:00

My birthday was this weekend.

41 was different. 40 felt good. 41 felt 10 years older. I didn't do a good job taking care of myself this last year, and I was aware of it as I faced the day.

Despite all that, my family made it fun.

I'd planned on sleeping in, but instead I was serenaded awake by my husband and wonderful kids, they brought me breakfast in bed. And since I'm not the "wake and eat" type, they even ate it for me.

I opened my gifts.

I got a gift card to Lifeway Christian Bookstore.

I got a gift card to the Coffee Bean (my fave.)

My DAUGHTER bought me (with her OWN money) a lap table for my laptop. (And boy did I need it.)

And they bought me the book "Heaven is for real."

Since I was up, I started reading it right after I finished my morning devotional, and I couldn't put it down.

I stayed in my room all morning reading.

When it was finally time to go to lunch with my parents at PF Chang's, I took it with me and read it in the car. My family was shocked I was 2/3 of the way through.

We had a lovely lunch (I left the book in the car) and then we headed to my parents house for cake. So I read some more on the way. I even read a little out loud to the family. Well, to Neal and V, the boys ditched me on my birthday to ride with their grandparents, but my DAUGHTER wanted to stay with me.

I had finished the book by the time got home and grabbed a few things and headed to the drive-in. We all huddled in the truck that night and watched "Diary of Wimpy Kid" which was really cute. And we watched part of Rango, which really was NOT cute.

It was a nice day. I enjoyed my family and they made me feel celebrated.

I was far more excited about 40, and I felt a lot better physically a year ago, but 41 was a nice day.

Happy birthday to me.

Selah

2011-03-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

It is always something.

The phones are down at work. We found it out yesterday morning. They guarantee us they'll be back up... no later than 9 pm Thursday night. Not good for a little company struggling in a bad economy.

AT&T bought T-Mobile. We left AT&T two years ago for a long list of reasons. "Nothing will change, except no more unlimited data options, they say. Can you say "teenager"? There's a reason I opt for unlimited data.

Balanced my checking accounts this morning and got a brand new $10 charge on the little account I keep for paying the kids school tuition. So basically, unless I want to reroute everything in my financial life, it's going to cost me another $120/ year to send the kids to school if I don't close that account (which I already did.)

Speaking of tuition, that went up next year too.

Gas prices are right around $4 even for the cheap stuff here in So Cal. Do you know it's not very attractive when you find yourself dry heaving at the gas pumps?

I'm trying to lose weight (I lost 4.8 lbs in my first week, you can read more about that here.)

I'm trying to take care of our finances, being a better steward, clipping coupons, shopping the deals (and that requires figuring out whether or not is cheaper to shop all in one store or pay the gas prices to visit them all.)

I am trying to cook more consistently for my family, which required an impromptu chicken tortilla soup out of a chicken that had to be cooked Sunday night. And there is more chicken defrosted in the fridge and some steak and pork chops waiting for a plan...

I HAVE to read my bible every day (I say so that's who) with the goal of reading it through all the way in a year.

And there is book reading to be done, for Blogging for Books, and for leisure.

And there is blogging to be done, because I have made that commitment.

Spinning, spinning, spinning, all the plates, can you see them?

Oh did I mention there are three kids who live in this house? And I have a husband I am happily married to, and I'd like to keep it that way.

There is always something, a leaky this, or a broken down that - the car isn't idling quite right, the furnace is making a funny noise, Neal's truck needs an oil change, there is laundry to be done, the house won't clean itself... but then again, I probably won't clean it either.

Oh my goodness March is almost over and we don't have our taxes done yet!!!

In the book of Psalms there is a word you'll come across from time to time. My grandmother called me the other day to ask me about it. She didn't know why it was there or what it meant. My mom told her to call me, she said she thought I would.

Selah it says.

What's it mean? It's a moment of rest in the music of the Psalms. It's a directive. "Stop. Rest."

There is also a spiritual directive. "Refocus. Look up."

I know what it means... I just wish I knew how to do it in life.

Backup

2011-03-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

Friday I picked my little kids up from school. We were walking off campus towards the parking lot and they were both just a couple steps ahead of me, Victoria to my left and Ethan to my right. To my right, just behind Ethan was a boy from Victoria's class and what appeared to be his older brother, probably not much older than my Jake.

The boy, who we'll call "Jack" said to Ethan, "Hey Ethan." and E replied back, "Hey Jack."

Then Jack said, "Victoria." And then the whole world seemed to go in slow motion.

To my left I saw my daughter silently give a sidewards glance, saying nothing, but a small grin seemed to cross her lips.

In my peripheral vision I saw the boy Jack nudge toward his brother and lean his head as though he was pointing her out. The older brother looked up from his iPod (they must be surgically attached to all teenagers not just mine,) and kind of lifted his head acknowledging he'd seen her and smiled at his little brother.

This mama didn't miss a thing. This was the classic, "hey check out who I like" exchange, and my daughter was the like-ee, and this Jack the like-er. As we continued to walk toward the car, I waited for Jack and his brother to get out of ear shot. And then I asked my daughter what it was all about.

We don't allow dating in high school at our house, so we sure as heck don't promote the whole boy/girl thing in 3rd grade. Call me a prude but it is dangerous and foolish and opens cans of worms that need never be seen.

When I got her to the car I told her I didn't miss it and she did her best to play dumb. She told me she knew the boy/girl thing was not allowed, but she got this little grin across her face again, like she wasn't oblivious either.

When she was belted in behind me she said, "The only person who would really know if Jack likes me is Jake (another boy in her class), because they tell each other their secrets."

"Ethan," I said, "you keep an eye on your sister at school and if you see her doing any of the flirty boy/ girl stuff, you have my permission to call her out on it, and be sure to let me know."

"No problem, Mom," he said. "And if I have to," punching his hand into his palm, he said, "I'll have a little talk with Jack too."

Good to know my backup is in place.

Clippin' and Savin'

2011-03-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

Price of the groceries I have bought on my last 6 trips to the grocery store:

$260.96
$ 23.40
$ 27.64
$ 88.39
$ 91.79
$ 88.33
$580.51

Amount I paid on the last 6 trips to the grocery store, respectively:

$134.90
$ 9.37
$ 10.10
$ 38.50
$ 45.58
$ 44.76
$283.21

In case you didn't catch that,
here's how much I didn't pay on my last 6 trips to the store:

$126.06
$ 14.03
$ 17.54
$ 49.89
$ 46.21
$ 43.57
$297.30

Fridge and freezer stocked, lots of homecooked meals.
Is taking the time to clip coupons and look for the deals worth it?
Decide for yourself.

I should get back to that.

2011-02-26T19:07:00.000-08:00

I keep our family books on Quicken. I've been doing it since about 2007 and truth be told it is a godsend. Balancing a "checkbook" never worked well for me, and this not only accounts for the then and now, but it also accounts for that days to come. I can go in and right now realize (if nothing changes, haha) that in late April, money is going to be tight, but by May, there is hope of a little relief. And by relief I mean there's no red on the checking account balance.

Today as I caught up on all our accounts and realized that we will be happy to tread water for the days to come. We have a lot of credit card debt, and I am doing my best to just stay caught up on monthly payments, but when things go awry, like spending a $1000 on a refrigerator last week or $125 for a new battery for Neal's truck yesterday, I find the possibility of ever getting out of the hole, much less ahead, is unlikely. You cannot plan for the unexpected.

So as I was looking things over I saw I have been paying $10 a month since 2007 to play the Grocery Game. It's a great service that helps you save money by combining coupons and specials at your chosen grocery store, bottom line, maximum groceries for minimum dollars. There was a time when I was really faithful with the service, but I realized today it's probably been a year and a half since I used it. So I have been paying $10 a month for nothing.

So today I decided to get back on track. I'm going to play the "game" again. I realize I need to be diligent. It reminded me of how a few months back I was doing a week's worth of cooking in a single day, and it helped our budget too. Too often the last minute run for fast food comes at the end of a long day at work when nothing is ready and I'm too tired to cook. I'm thinking I should really get back to that too.

That made me think of how great I felt last year, and how much weight I had lost when I was working out on my Wii Fit every day. That fell apart completely sometime early last fall. I've put a good 20 pounds back on and my clothes are getting tight again. I had been walking and exercising faithfully and now I'm not and it's costing me. It made me think, I should get back to that.

For a time I was caught up on laundry and had a clean house too. I had a schedule that worked and I was diligent. Nowadays, the truth is, I don't even go in the front bathroom unless I KNOW someone is coming to visit. I call it the boy's bathroom and don't even require my daughter to use it, because I can't for the life of me keep up. Or really I can't stand to clean anything and have three short people who live in my house come behind me mess it up, so I just don't bother cleaning in the first place. I need to remember what worked in keeping things up around here, and I should get back to that.

For all of Christmas season this year we were faithful to have nightly family prayer meetings, I should get us back to that. And doing devotionals daily with at least two if not all three of my children? I should get back to that too.

Now my personal devotional time, that's actually going pretty well, I read my bible every morning when I get up and every night before I go to bed and I write in a prayer journal too, but mostly about my own thoughts and concerns, I should get back to praying more faithfully for others. But I also have a few Bible studies I am supposed to be working on, and I should get back to those as well. Of course getting up doing that is what keeps working out a challenge. And there should be a way to do both. Right?

I need to be diligent in all these things, and be available to my husband, caring for him, and my children, loving them up, and I blog, two blogs, and I write for Examiner. So many things to do, all important. And somehow I know there is a way to find balance and figure it all out. I just need to figure out the right answer... I should get back to that.

So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12

Deep Sigh

2011-02-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

The end of February brings a deep sigh for me. Christmas has passed, all the children's birthdays are now behind me, the new year is well under way and it is a brief and momentary moment to take a deep breath.
The next "big event" in our home isn't until the end of March, and since that is actually my birthday, I don't have anything I actually have to do other than age, which seems to happen without any real effort on my part. This year I'm turning 41, which is really sort of anti-climactic after the big 4-0 last year, so really, like I said, there is a day in the end of March that I will wake up "a year older" than I went to bed... but clearly, not really.

After my birthday is Tax Day and then our anniversary is in the beginning of May. Now unlike the ho-hum of 41, this year's anniversary is very exciting, we will hit the big 2 decade mark. Nowadays, being married 20 years seems very rare. Being happily married all the more. Which is sad, but gratefully, on the marriage front, we seem to be cruising at a nice, enjoyable, safe speed. (In Jesus' name.)

I am realizing I need to relish this deep sigh as much as I can. It's hitting me what a big year 2011 actually is in our house. Jake just turned 17 on his birthday, which is chronologically speaking, his last year of childhood. On his next birthday he will be a legal adult. And truth be told, 2012 will have some very big events in it as well, but let's rest in the sigh we are in.

In addition to Jake's turning 17, it is in the fall of this year that he will begin his last year of high school, Lord willing... haha, no, I jest, that's a pretty safe bet. My Ethan also just hit the decade mark in life, which is almost hard to comprehend. In December his sister will follow suit, and all my kids will be in double digits. And as I said, the DePriest marriage will be two decades old as well. My how time flies.

2011 is one of those years that many years ago I looked at on a calendar and thought, "Wow, someday all that will happen, the kids will be so big, and we will have been married so long." And now it's not afar off, but it is here. It's also one of the last semi-predictable years. when I look at 2021, another decade from now, I have no way to even imagine what will be happening.

2021, Lord willing, Neal will be in his 50's. Oh well, yes, I will too, but why focus on that? Jake will be approaching 30! And where he is and what he is doing will be based on choices he makes between now and then. The whole world will change for him in the next 10 years, he could be married, and even have kids of his own (and he better not have kids of his own if he's not married, for the record.) By the time I was 27, I had a 4 year-old. I could be a grandma in 10 years!

Who knows where my younger two could be in 10 years? College? Working? Married? Living on their brother's couch? In jail? (Kidding! But E really needs to stop smacking his sister around. ) But in sincerity, the next 10 years are a mystery, and the uncertainty in life today makes them even more so.

I suspect that before I know it, 2021 will be here, and 2011 that is such a big year now, and once seemed so far away will be a distant memory behind us. Life is fluid, ever-changing. But if I try to run to far ahead, I tire myself, and if I think too hard I hurt my brain. If I worry to much, I weight down my heart. So for now, I think I will stop, step back into my sigh, and rest a while, for this moment is brief, and before I know it, life will be running away from us again.

The kind of Mom I wish I was.

2011-02-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

I wish I was the kind of mom who had a good grasp of the perfect balance of mercy and justice. I wish that when I was parenting you, I would always do it with total objectivity and able to assess the problem without any emotional response...

...but I'm not.

I wish I excelled at consistency. That I always followed through with you, whether it was remembering I told you that you were on restriction from TV for the week or if I grounded you for the weekend. I wish that having come to that consequence wisely and carefully, I would always remember to teach you about choices and consequences...

...but I don't.

I wish I never raised my voice or said words in anger to you that I wish I could take back. I wish every word I spoke to you was carefully and purposefully chosen whether it be for inspiration or encouragement, correction or even rebuke...

...but they're not.

I wish we always had lots of fun and laughter together, that things always ran so smoothly in our home that all of our loudness was all joy and laughter, because we were always having a good time...

...but we aren't.

I wish that I was the kind of mom whose faith for you to soar overwhelmed her fear of your falling, and that I could believe for all your dreams to come true without worrying about you getting hurt...

...but I'm not.

But I am a Mom...

...who loves you more than my own life.

...who prays for you always.

...who knows God has great plans for you.

...who believes with God's help, you can and will accomplish great things.

I am not your perfect parent (and although he may be closer, neither is your dad.) It's good that I know I am not your perfect parent, because if I tried to be, I would just drive us all crazy. But your Heavenly Father is your Perfect Parent, and He will never fail you in any of these things.

But I will love you with all of my heart for all of my life. I will believe for all of your dreams and encourage you in them. I will speak words of truth into your life and I will always do my best to lead with mercy over judgment. I will do the best I can to be the Mom that God has called me to be.

I will dream with you.

I will dream for you.

I will pray for you.

I will pray with you.

I will love you.

I will direct you,

to the Father who

will never

ever

fail you...

And in the end I pray

may your life

bring Him glory,

In Jesus' name.

Social Rules

2011-02-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

Top 5 "House Rules" of the Social Realm:

(1) No internet before junior high. - with the exception of supervised surfing for school or the occasional personal project (Mom, will you please help me find a picture of... or Mom, will you help me look for this item I want for Christmas, my birthday, etc... or Mom will you help me look up help for such and such a video game....) There is WAY too much exposure out their to risky content and a child doesn't have the maturity to exercise good judgment and expecting them to is an undue burden they are not ready for.

(2) No cell phone before junior high school. - The purpose of my child having a cell phone is for me to be able to get a hold of him or her at will. It's not about them being able to spend hours on end in constant contact with their friends via text and calls. Truth be told kids say things on text messages that they would never have the nerve to say face to face. It's a dangerous trend, and so there are limits to phone use in our home. Even at 17 our oldest isn't allowed to use his phone outside of specific hours and isn't allowed to have his phone with him in his bedroom at night.

(3) No Facebook before high school. - Nope not even negotiable. In our family it's a privilege that will not be earned until after graduating junior high.
* It's a maturity issue, social networks should be left to a maturing social age.
* Because it is a privilege to look forward to, kids should not be given too much to fast. It accelerates the whole social process.
* Like cell phones, kids are inclined to say things they would not say face to face, and it needs to be strictly monitored.
* If I (your parent) can't be your Facebook friend, then nobody can.
* And in case you're wondering, MySpace isn't allowed at all.

(4) No dating in high school. Say what? Yep, that's the rule. It was a long thought out process and a decision we came to carefully. Here's the long and short of it: Eventually, chances are, each of our children will end up in a long term relationship, Lord willing, a lifetime commitment in marriage. Once our kids meet "the one" every decision they make after that point will have to funnel through the "us filter." What I mean to say is, that they will be bound to every decision to ask "how will it effect "us"? I want to take such and such a job, I want to travel to such and such a place, I want to go to school here or not go to school... Every single decision will have to take those aspects into consideration.
My hope for my kids at that stage of life is that they will really know who they are and what they want in life when they find themselves in that place, and when they choose the person to pursue to be with, they will already be somewhat sure of where they want to head in life, and that person will love them with that knowledge.
OK, putting too much pressure on dating? I don't think so. The truth is, dating is hard on the heart, if not broken, it will get bruised, and the sooner you begin, the more likely the risk. When you finally find the right person, will you want to do so having a long resume of those who have held your heart before? I don't see the point. The heart is a treasure and ought to be treated as such, and when it is finally given, it should be in its very best condition.

Truth be told, this is a short synopsis of the stand, a longer post for a future day perhaps, but that is the reader's digest version.

and the final rule

(5) No right to privacy. Say what?? That's right, no right to privacy. Your cell phone, your internet searches, your email account, your Facebook page - mom and dad have free access to them all. While we are at it, that also includes your iPod too, nothing is to remain hidden. It doesn't mean I will be looking over every message in your inbox or monitoring all your calls, but you never know when the urge may come, and as your parents we have absolute right to it when the needful feeling arrives, so there are no secret passwords and if I ask you to hand me your phone or your mp3 player for inspection, you will, immediately, or you won't have one anymore.

See, here's the thing, as the parent, it's our job to keep our kids safe and in line. And I am far more interested in their best interest than I am in what they think of me, including whether or not they think I'm cool or fair. At the end of the day, I want to know if they are safe and making wise choices within their level of maturity to make. And if it means they don't like me or think I'm uncool, I'm going to trust someday they will understand and appreciate the decisions I made were out of love and protection and not just control. Not that I have a problem with being in control.

Too many parents are too concerned with being their kids' friends these days. My kids don't need me to be their friend, they need me to be their parent. They need me to watch over them and protect them and keep them as safe as I can. And eventually, the little birdies will fly, but while they are in my nest, I will be mama bird.

Road Trip!!

2011-02-08T11:46:00.000-08:00

Ethan is in 4th grade. And I don't know about the rest of the country, but in most of California that means Missions Report. When I was a kid, it meant building a huge mission model. Truthfully, I have no recollection of it personally but a girl I grew up with and went to 4th grade with mentioned her memories of stacking sugar cubes and painting them brown. And since after 4th grade I was moved to the advanced class (for a single year) surely I must have done one too.

Jake on the other hand did not. His 4th grade class experience he was in a combo class with 2nd and 3rd graders, and I guess one of the "sacrifices" of that experience was no mission model. Though Jake did study missions, we didn't have to stack and paint any sugar cubes either.

I won't lie, when the paperwork came home for Ethan's 4th grade project, my heart sank a little. I'm not a big fan of anything crafty, so the thought of the whole thing didn't thrill me. I was thrilled to discover that building a mission was EXTRA CREDIT!!! The bulk of the project is a report, not building a model. How do YOU spell RELIEF??

But I also know my younger son has a bent towards trying to do as little as possible (the human condition, I suppose) and so dismissing the idea of extra credit altogether probably wasn't wise. So I looked over the sheet only to discover another extra credit option, visit a mission! Now that sounded interesting to this mom. And my thought process was, if you're going to visit a mission, it would be far more interesting to visit the mission you were studying, so I took a look to discover where Ethan's mission, La Purisima, was located.

Investigation revealed it was in Lompoc, about a 3 hour drive from home. As I looked at the map I noted another nearby city, Solvang, California. If you've never heard of this delightful little town, my condolences. If you've never visited it, you have my absolute pity. Let's just say it's the best tasting town in California. So right then and there I decided, the DePriests were due for a road trip! Thankfully I found a decent deal to room this family of 5 in Lompoc, and this past weekend, we went on our mission to see Ethan's mission.

We made great time and honestly had a wonderful time exploring the beautiful mission. We spent a couple of hours looking all around and learning about it. We took a lot of great pictures to put together for Ethan's extra credit project. We fed a bull and horses and we explored all the different places in the mission.

La Purisima Mission

We got done at such a reasonable hour, we decided to head to Solvang right away. It was only about a 20 minute drive from where we were. But on the way there, something off the side of the road caught our eyes. After seeing hours of horses and cows in the fields on our drive up the coast, we saw something a little different, ostriches! So we had to stop and the kids got to feed them. It was really cool!

Ostrichland

After that we finally headed to Solvang. It's a delightful little Dutch town, or is it Danish? Anyway, they have a little village full of quaint little shops and the BEST restaurants and bakeries. I literally ate myself sick. My favorites are these little pastry shells filled with butter cream frosting and a touch of raspberry jam. This visit I also discovered some amazing Florentine cookies with mocha frosting pressed between them. Oh so good! We also, at the suggestion of a friend, stopped at a little shop and tried fresh made Abelskivers. They are like pancake balls (for lack of a more delightful description) covered in raspberry jam/ sauce. Warm and yummy and my girlfriend was right, a must have. So we did, both Saturday and Sunday. We also had lunch there where Jake, Victoria and I ate an actual smorgasbord on Saturday... kind of interesting. And filling. And both days we had a lot of fun and consumed way too much sugar and tasty goodness. And I can't wait to go back because I would love a Florentine right now. On our second day we also followed the advice of another friend and visited this cool little ranch where they raise mini ponies. It was very quiet and serene there and neat to check out the little horses.

Solvang, California

The drive to and from Lompoc is absolutely gorgeous. While the rest of the world (or so it would seem) was busy watching the Super Bowl, my family was driving down the gorgeous coast of California. We had such a nice relaxing family time, everyone had a blast. As we were driving home Neal and I were reminiscing about my 35th birthday. For me it goes down as one of the best birthdays ever. Neal had planned an entire weekend just the two of us and we took a train to Santa Barbara and then rented a car and drove to Solvang. Neal reminded me about the wonderful crab cakes we had on the pier in Santa Barbara. And you know, our tummy's were pretty well stretched out by then, and crab cakes did sound awfully good... so you better believe it, we though, "Just one more stop before we head home"

Santa Barbara, California

It was a terrific weekend. Despite all the activity, we all came home refreshed and having enjoyed each other and our activities. Ethan, who will be 10 on the 19th is already trying to convince us we should go back to Solvang again for his birthday (which is interesting since he didn't do much of the eating the rest of us did.) Truth be told, we are thinking we'd like to do trips like this more often. It's been so long since we have had a family vacation, but this sure felt like one, even if it was too short. I did come away from the weekend realizing what a blessed woman I am as the matriarch of a very cool family.

Blessed

Precious

2011-01-31T13:45:00.000-08:00

God brings precious people into our lives. I can say that with absolute certainty, dare I say authority, because the truth is, all people are precious. They are precious to God and therefore ought to be precious to us.

Sometimes a person's preciousness is more apparent to you when you meet them than others. Sometimes you just have a compassion, or a concern and you see them the way God does. It's a humbling experience, and a blessing also.

The Lord has done that very recently with me for a young man whose path He crossed with mine, and I can only hope for an eternal purpose.

God has also given us gifts, and sometimes they just seem to sort of erupt on their own. My gift is writing, and I have a knack for the poetic. The first poem I ever wrote was recited to me in a dream and then I got up and wrote it down. So, I have always known it was a gift and not taken too much credit for my own talents.

Last night the precious person and the talent crossed paths and a short passage of poetry was born. The passage though inspired by this person speaks a truth that holds for us all. We can hold to it in our own hearts and my prayer is it would offer comfort and encouragement to anyone who might be struggling with a difficult season in their life, or who has regrets or pain from their past. Really the question is, who of us doesn't?

I posted this poem as a status first, and then my sweet girlfriend made it fancy in the photo below, but because the photo also makes the words sort of small, I will reprint the words to the poem below it. I pray it ministers to your heart today.

Diana

The journey’s point is not where I’ve been,
Nor even where I’ve yet to be.
The point of this travel I am on,
Is the days of You and me.
The revelation of Your purposed plan,
And learning how much You care.
Knowing I am deeply loved and fully known,
Nothing else can ever compare.
Tho some of the steps to this place,
Hurt or were hard to do,
The past is what has brought me here,
And led me straight to You.

By Diana DePriest
© January 3, 2011

Blessings

I Like Loud

2011-01-26T12:06:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking last night, about how I hope my kids never really do grasp the fact that sound travels. Despite the many times in their lives I have ~~demanded~~ encouraged them to lower their voices, to keep down the ruckus or to just ~~shut up~~ be quiet in general, I really do know that sound is my friend.

When they were little, silence served as a healthy warning. You never want a three-year-old to really be playing quietly, if you are you are likely to come back to art work that doesn't involve art supplies (at best I recall make-up being an issue, at worst I remember human feces being involved.) Or you may come back and discover just how long a toll of toilet paper actually is, or how many tissues you actually had left in a box, If a child under 3 is quiet, beware.

It was sound that drew me into the kitchen to discover my 3-year-old son trying to help my 2-year-old daughter get a hold of the ceiling fan for a ride. It was a new twist on the pitter-patter of little feet, but without noise, my daughter may have actually learned first hand she wasn't made to fly. Noise saved the price of an emergency room visit and the cost of a new ceiling fan, installed.

Noise warns of awake children who should be napping (oh how I miss those days) or sleeping. Noise gives up the kid who is playing in the sink instead of brushing his teeth. Noise is good, in fact, noise is the number one approved tattle tale of children ages 0-18. Don't tell my kids, but I think I kind of like noise.

Last night the sounds that were sending signals my way were sounds of the refrigerator opening and closing, the slamming of the microwave door, and the hustle and bustle in between. I don't know what the grace is that God gives mothers that even when you have three children you can know without looking which child is getting a snack too close to dinner, or who threw the ball that slammed against the wall, or who slammed the chair into the wall. Noise, it has it's value.

It's good that I can find the value in noise. My children are all very loud. They are loud when they laugh, they are loud when they talk, they are loud when they argue and they are loud when they don't. I would like to blame my husband, he is after all a drummer and one of his favorite things to do is go out into the garage with his kit and make loud ~~NOISE~~ music. (I have to admit it always fascinates me when he comes in from playing his drums and asks me to turn down the TV for being too loud.) The truth is though it's probably not my husband's fault my kids are so loud.

Did you think I was going to confess something? Oh no, never in print.

But really, noise is my friend, and loud can really be a good quality. IT CAN! I am certain sound can be credited to keeping me from being eaten out of house and home, it's stopped broken windows, and kept the monkey from ~~jumping on~~ falling off the bed. And despite the (many) times my own big mouth has gotten me into trouble, I am certain sound has been on my side and worked to my benefit more often than not.

Of course some noises are better than others. I love the sound of a good giggle, and even better a great guffaw. The sound of my children praying is a gift, and the sound of them singing praise, or quoting the word, those might be the best "noises" of all. Life is loud at my house, and whether it's for my defense or too my blessing, I think I like it that way.

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth:
make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.
Psalm 98:4

Morning Madness

2011-01-21T11:47:00.000-08:00

Boy was it a full morning at the DePriest house. Two of my children got up on the WRONG side of the bed this morning.

Jake is the first one to rise in our home. He gets up and starts getting ready a little after 6 a.m, his dad wakes him as he leaves for work. Allegedly Jake's doing a devotional during breakfast and he slowly prepares for the day. I say "allegedly" because lots of mornings I venture out and find him cuddled on the couch with a blanket, so from my perspective, he didn't really "get up," he just relocated. Teenagers, whatever.

I wake up about 6:40 and read my bible and do my own devotional time usually without ever exiting my room most days. I give myself a half an hour to read and journal/ pray and actually get out of bed around 7:10 a.m. Part of Jake's morning responsibilities are to get his brother and sister out of bed at 7 a.m. and get them their breakfast, nothing difficult, 5 minutes of his time, and it gives me the extra 10 to spend with the Lord preparing for the day.

Well, I suppose "nothing difficult" isn't a perfectly accurate description because neither E nor V are the wake up and bounce out of bed early types, at least not on school days. Ethan every Saturday morning is the first ~~kid~~ person up and has his butt firmly planted in front of one video game system or another. But in fairness, on week days, they can be a little harder to rouse (another good reason I've made the job Jake's, I say.)

Many days it goes smoothly, but more and more days lately it seems like it's a complicated process. Lots of days Jake is feeling sort of ornery in the morning and instead a tap and "get up," Jake will decide the best way to wake his sister is to put the cat on her head or sit on her. Often in the midst of my devotional time I will hear blood curdling screams and a "STOP IIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!" coming from outside my room. E never gets sat on being on the top bunk, but sometimes he will be Jake's chosen victim and he let's out a particularly ~~toe-curling~~ shoot me in the head kind of scream. I have to be honest I am looking forward to when the boy's voice changes, because some of the octaves he can (and likes to) hit are unbearable. Truth be told, he and Victoria can be hard to tell apart when they talk, laugh and scream, until he hits the most obnoxious girl scream sounds, then I know it's my son. What??

So this morning the screaming began and the lyrics were a little different, I heard repeatedly "GIVE IT BACK!!!" Then Jake's rely, "NO! It's mine!" Then, "GIVE IT BACK!!!" Jake, "No, Tori it's mine!" (No sound barrier breaking screams... from the girl) So I think after the twelfth or fiftieth time they kept repeating the same words, over and over and over again, the really loud voice in our house bellowed out.

"KNOCK IT OFF!!! WHAT IS GOING ON???"

In case you aren't tracking, that voice was me. "VICTORIA AND JACOB, GET IN HERE NOW!" Enter two indignant children standing at the end of my bed, talking at me...

One of my new favorite reminders was offered, "If your mouth is moving your ears aren't working." (Translation, shut up.)

The gist of the conflict is this, Victoria has the box Jake's iPod Touch came in. She's been using it to keep band aids in it FOR WEEKS. Cut my finger last Friday night and benefited from her little make shift first aid kit. He wasn't missing it, didn't notice it was gone, and had no issue with it till he saw she had it.

Victoria: "I found it on the floor in the office!"
Jake: " I was keeping it there till I needed it." Um.. ok?

So I told them, they were both wrong. That's always an interesting parent moment. Realistically, it belongs to Jake, and if he wants to be a total butthead about a plastic box that he hasn't used and didn't even realize was gone, it's his right. Victoria on the other hand does have a propensity for kleptomania and should ask about things before she commandeers them, and I gave them that message and sent them out of the room so I could finish up my devotional time, since I was so in the Spirit.

Next thing I know, I hear the yelling again, "GIVE ME MILK!!!" Then the reply, "That's not how you ask." Same two children battling, "GIVE ME MILK!!!" Reply: "SAY PLEASE!!!" "GIVE ME MILK!!!" "NO!"

This time I rise. exit the room and meet the big one in the hall, seemingly digging his heels in and,refusing to pour a glass of milk. I remind the boy getting them breakfast is part of his morning responsibilities (Because I said so.) To which he replies, "She doesn't drink milk every day." Say what??? But she wants it today. It's your job to get it (BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!) and I don't care if you don't like the way she asked (because we both know you're still mad about feeling like a jerk for the whole box thing...)

As Jake heads to reluctantly pour the milk, Ethan who amidst all the chaos has gotten up, had his breakfast and is now headed to get dressed for the day starts to pass me in the hall. I stop him grab his face and plant a big kiss on his lips and he smiles, "I'm so the favorite." Why yes you are...

So now I turn to my daughter and point out how ridiculous it is that she couldn't just say PLEASE! Which for that matter should have come out of her mouth automatically in the first place, HELLO???

I head to the counter to make three lunches and look at the clock, it's only 7:15?!?!? Does everyone else have this much chaos just getting breakfast on the table. Sigh... I blame their dad. It's just easier that way.

Humor & Favortism

2011-01-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

My kids make me laugh. Most days there's at least one conversation that would be perfect for a sitcom.

I have an extremely dry sense of humor, sarcasm is a language I speak fluently, the bad thing about speaking certain languages in your home is that when the kids are around it long enough, they eventually pick it up. Like speaking by spelling words when they were little to keep them in the dark, eventually it catches up with you.

I tried pig latin too, but Neal never could catch on, so instead, Jake and I use it when we want to keep their dad in the dark.

Jacob has caught the dryness of my humor, and frighteningly, we'll be riding along and the wry commentary will no sooner come into my head than it will suddenly pop out of his mouth. He swears the same thing happens to him, but I'm not sure I'm ready to give him that much credit. (See? Sarcasm...)

My Ethan is catching on to the sarcastic sense of humor too, but his tends to fall into the slightly more caustic version. Which, when you're nine is a little like trying to wear your daddy's boots, or I guess in this case, his mama's boots, and he tends to trip himself up a bit and can find himself landing in hot water, when the humor he intended comes dressed more closely to disrespect than sarcasm. But the boy keeps plugging along, and I'm pretty sure he'll grow into it, if he lives that long.

My sweet V seems to be the one who takes more after dad. Her humor is not quite so dry as the rest of us, which means at times she is a little more easily offended. The potential for drama queen status exists as she walks off in feigned woundedness. Sarcastic she's not, dramatic she is. But her skin is thicker than she likes to show it sometimes, and even in her best act, you can eventually pull the giggle out of her.

My Neal, well he's the strong silent type, mostly, and doesn't usually have a lot to say. But he's more like a gifted marksman. He doesn't pull his gun out all that often, but when he does, he never misses the bullseye, I always like to watch people's response when a zinger comes through. He always surprises me, and yet never surprises me, and the laughter is always good.

Part of my ongoing "humor" in our home is my declaration of favortism. Basically, I believe in a little healthy competition and fighting for the spot of my favorite kid amongst my competitive children, I can shape them right up with the hope of being favored. I don't know why the title works so well, but it does... and so I work with it.

Today I was a single mom as my hubby was off and I went to lunch with my three favorite kids. Most days they all do make the top 3, but not every day.

One of their favorite arguments (or so it seems) is about who sits where in the mini van. Usually the competition is for who gets to sit in the middle two seats when both their dad and I are there. I guess climbing to the back is either a painful of humbling experience. But when it's just me and the kids, age gives Jake the only shot at "shotgun" and the expectation is the other 2 will sit in the seats I assigned them back nearly a decade ago, E behind the passenger seat and V behind the driver.

Today Ethan decided he wanted to mix things up and sit behind the driver. Being one who, as a rule, stands against change I told E to move along to the other side and V proclaimed how her seat had been her seat since we bought the car and she wasn't giving it up. And Jake decided since we had the car a few months before we had her he should correct her. So I had to go into the explanation, right?

I explained E was behind the passener seat because when he was the sole car seat rider, it was the spot I could reach back and assist the best, and we just never moved him. Of course in Ethan's mind it meant something different:

Ethan: "Oh, I sit here because I'm her favorite."
Victoria: "Just because you sit there doesn't make you her favorite."
Me: "Yeah Ethan, that's not why you're my favorite."
Looking in the rearview mirror I watched V's smug smile slowly turn to a frown as it dawned on her what I'd actually said.

So as we made our way onto the road toward home, the issue of favortism was stewing in my little Princess' mind.

V: "If we were all in a race (my 3 kids), who would you want to win?"
Me: "I don't know, all of you?"
V: "Wait, me the suck-up, Jake who put a hole in your wall, or Ethan..."
E (interrupting): "THE ONE WHO NEVER CAUSED YOU ANY (labor) PAIN!"... (he likes to remind the other kids of that regularly, my sweet adopted boy.)
We all laugh, V (pouting): "That's not what I was gonna say!"
So we tried to rattle her out of her dramatic performance, and we pursued.
Jake and I in unison: "What were you going to say??"
V: "Ethan, the brother of the guy who put the hole in your wall."

So two thoughts... (1) maybe my daughter speaks a little sarcasm after all? And (2) why isn't she satisfied with being my favorite daughter... she's won that competition, hands down!

Getting Glimpses

2011-01-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

Parenting is a lot of work. "The toughest job you'll ever love" is a common description. But can I just be honest and tell you there are LOTS of days I love my kids, but I don't even like the job of raising them up.

It's hard work, and requires a discipline and consistency like nothing else. Follow-through is an art form, and a lot of days I don't find myself at all "artistic." Lots of days I'd rather just sit my butt on the couch and ignore the sounds of children running rampant, let them eat all the cookies they want, let them watch TV till their eyeballs are swollen, let them tuck themselves into bed long after I have fallen in bed asleep, exhausted. I'd like to, but I don't.

Of course I would also like to have the days where I remembered every earned consequence and without ever raising my voice above a normal "inside" tone, enforce every rule and consequence. I'd like to settle every argument between them with absolute fairness and justice, and make sure every child felt enough love from me, got enough attention from me and had every talent encouraged, every gift affirmed and lay my head on the pillow knowing I had made every parental move perfectly, but that never happens.

The medium between these two extremes isn't really a "happy medium" at all. The fact is it's a large crevasse filled with second-guessing, self-doubt and overall insecurity. It's a place where you hope for more best efforts than not; it's filled with a lot of self-awareness, especially of your short comings. It's full of regret, and "if only" thoughts, on good days it has it's share of "next time I'll try" when you blow it, and even a touch of pride when you don't.

This not-so-happy medium is also a place where a lot of prayers are said, at least that's the case in my house. "Lord, help me not to lose my cool." The (not) occasional (enough) "Father, please help me not to kill them." I find days in there where I wish I was a drinking woman, and a place where I am thankful that I'm not. Parenting is full-time, and it's tough.

Parenting is 90% sowing and maybe 10% reaping, though I'm not even sure of the reaping, because parenting is really a planting season, it's a time to give, water, fertilize (and yet try to avoid too much "BS".) And there's lots of weeding done, boy can that be exhausting. Weeding out attitudes, influences- which for the record is a long list: friends, teachers, TV shows, books, songs, movies, even commercials. You do your best to protect from the weeds, but there is always some "airborne" offender that slips past our defenses like dandelion seeds. It will wear a parent out.

So it's true, it really is the toughest of jobs. And I suppose if I really ~~have to~~ want to admit it, it is a job you love. Because once in a while, in the midst of the challenges and chaos, you'll get a glimpse of the reaping season. The old adage "more is caught then taught" will actually inspire and encourage on occasion rather than overwhelm you with second-guessing, fear and dread. You'll get a glimpse, and with a sigh of relief, you'll have hope that the work is actually effective, and in the end is really worth it.

Tonight I was helping my daughter wash her hair. She thoroughly read her after care instructions (the joy of having a girl!) from when she got her ears pierced and she's a little paranoid about getting shampoo in the holes. So as I scrubbed her scalp, she asked me how I was feeling. I've been sick for a few days, and really wiped out. I told her I still wasn't feeling a 100% and I hadn't been sleeping well, so my daughter began to pray for me. She asked the Father on my behalf to help me feel better and to help me get a good night's rest tonight. As naturally as breathing she went to the throne on my behalf, and I got a glimpse of the truth that, even though most days it may be harder to see, my efforts are not in vain, and there is definitely a season of reaping ahead.

It made me think about how all too often I miss those moments. When my 9-year-old son gives up his quesadilla to a crying toddler, or when my 16-year-old stands and holds the door for 9 strangers moving his place in line from last to first (a time when I really have to realize the fact my son is a gentleman is a good thing.) When I see them care for the littler and the weaker, when they give up a turn for a friend, when they exercise kindness, patience, love for others. Too often I miss it, too focused on the sowing to realize, every day, I am already reaping rewards.

Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

Making an Impact

2011-01-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of Christmas Vacation (I refuse to call it Winter Break.) It's been just about the biggest bummer of breaks ever! I and I feel pretty bad about it, because the weather was AWFUL and my kids were stuck home alone for the bulk of it because I had to work and because the weather meant they couldn't really go anywhere or do anything.

Christmas Eve day plans failed because of kids who were under the weather the night before. Christmas Eve evening got better and we were able to have our tradition of Christmas Eve service and driving to see the lights. We even had the added blessing of our honorary kid hanging out with us as well.

Christmas day was perfect. The 3rd year we spent the afternoon and Christmas dinner at home and I can honesty say taking the holiday as our own is one of the best decisions we ever made. Our neighbor joined us for dinner and it was just a lovely afternoon and evening.

The day after Christmas was a lot of fun, as we had the drat gun war of all dart gun wars after church. It was a blast. And Neal and I had Monday off and we had a great afternoon together, doing a little shopping, going to the movies and taking our daughter to get her ears pierced. Then the weather turned again and my kids again were locked in the house while Neal and I were at work.

Wednesday the weather went really south when yet another winter storm his Orange County. My kids had become like prisoners in their own home with only a short few furloughs in the outside world. I think cabin fever was rampant.

It didn't help that church was dark for the week and our usual escape to midweek service was canceled. And I think I really put things over the top when I asked Jake to babysit one more night while Neal and I went out to dinner with old friends we hadn't socialized with in years. But I asked, and we went.

And then we came home to this....

I didn't pay much attention to my phone while we were out, but on the way home I read the text from my 16 year old.

Didn't want to call, but we were messing around and I lost my footing and put a dent in the wall. On the upside, the house is very clean! Please don't kill me."

I can laugh now... almost. I didn't kill him, and I give myself credit for that.

Jake said as soon as he felt the impact he thought, "Goodbye Christmas money," and he was right. Much to the dismay of my own parents, Neal and I agree Jake should have to pay to repair the damage. It's in a prominent place in the house, so him learning a skill to repair it himself isn't an option for me at this stage of the game. But his dad has some connections, we may find very reasonable help, but in the meantime, I'm holding his Christmas money hostage.

When I got the text I wrote back asking how bad it was, to which he replied, "Not THAT bad." I guess the severity of a dent is in the eye of the beholder. A little more strength in the impact and he would have been inside my pantry. I suppose on that note, I can work on an attitude of gratitude.

"Boys will be boys," is a term I have heard frequently the last few days. Maybe there's some truth in that, but I'm not quite feeling that dismissive. I do feel completely justified in working the child a little harder till the wall is repaired. I'm pretty sure it helps him look a little more forward to returning to school the day after tomorrow, a LITTLE more forward.

I always knew my son would make an impression on the world, I just never really thought he would start in my hallway.

The Santa Factor

2010-12-26T23:49:00.001-08:00

So, I have pics and things (a few) from the Christmas holiday that I should (probably, might) post in the coming days, but I'm overdue for a post here on the family blog and thought I would tell you about the new twist to Christmas here this year at Casa DePriest.

This is the first year Santa wasn't a factor in Christmas. Much to my (and my checkbook's) relief, Victoria finally pulled the veil off of the legend a few weeks ago and found her dad and I standing there.

She grabbed my shoulders one night and looked me straight in the eye and said, "Mom, if I ask you a question, you will tell me the truth, right?" (Forgive me if I have already told this story here.) I smiled at her.

She gripped me even more tightly and said, "MOM, if I ask you a question, you WILL tell me the TRUTH, RIGHT?"

Knowing where this was headed I told her, "Victoria, yes I will, but don't ask me anything you don't want to hear the answer to."

But she jumped in with abandon and asked the truth about old St. Nick. So I told her no, there was no jolly old soul that had been sliding down the chimney all these years. We'd never given Santa any omniscient powers in our home, and so I rectified the rumor about me having the cell phone number of some overweight man in a red suit who liked to bring gifts to good little boys and girls.

She asked me if there really was no Santa who has built her dollhouse from two year ago. When I told her it was me (yes, ME, not her daddy, my frequently sleeping elf) she joyfully thanked me for being the best and most thoughtful mommy ever. All in all it was far sweeter a response than it was when I told Jake when he was 5 and he fell apart in the back seat of my car. I blame all the people who guilted me for lying to my child for that debacle.

But anyway. When it comes to Christmas, second to making Jesus the center, my biggest goal is for making memories. This was the third year that we moved the bulk of our Christmas day to our own home instead of being on the crazy race of house to house making my children miserable not letting them just enjoy their day. It was the 3rd year of a nice breakfast at my parents followed by a peaceful afternoon at home including an amazing (if I do say so myself) prime rib dinner made here at home by me. Neal kind of gushes in a manner similar to V's finding out I made her dollhouse when he's served with a great dinner.

I'm kind of getting off track though, so on to the whole Santa Factor in the title. When the kids were little, Santa brought each of them 3 gifts, just like the Magi (Wise men) brought three gifts for baby Jesus, and Santa did it because of His love for the Lord. It sort of links well to the story of the real St. Nicholas, but I digress.

Last year money was tight, and we didn't quite pull off the 3 gifts per child and there was so incorporating of community gifts for all. This year money was even tighter and I was sort of at a loss, so I came up with this terrific idea to buy Nerf guns for the whole family, and I thought we'd spend part of Christmas day having a little war.

Well, Victoria's de-Santa-fying the house meant that I could put an end to the annual tradition of driving to my workplace at midnight to pick up all the Santa gifts and bringing them home after midnight to set the scene. So this year instead, I wrapped all the community gifts I had intended for Santa to bring, and WRAP them, IN ADVANCE and actually GO TO BED on Christmas Eve (in theory.)

So, I took all 5 guns and wrapped them. I bought 2 that were the equivalent to a Nerf Machine Gun. You held the trigger and it would unload 18 bullets at rapid fire. I bought 2 more guns that held a 6 bullet cartridge and required a cocking between every single shot. The last gun I bought was the Nerf version of the sawed off shot gun and shoots two black rubber tipped bullets at a time and had to be reloaded after every shot. The balance was interesting.

So I had to turn it into a game. So Wednesday night when I brought the giant pile of gifts wrapped in Santa paper, I put the numbers 1-5 on sheets of paper and everyone drew a number. V was 1, Neal was 2, E was 3, Jake was 4 and I had #5. I told the kids they could keep their numbers or trade them, but they had to keep their sheets and bring them to the rodeo on Friday afternoon. If they lost their numbers there would be a penalty.

Friday night came and both little kids had lost their slips of paper. So the rest of us deposited ours back in the "bowl" and Neal's number (#2) was drawn. Then there was another drawing between two slips of paper, one said "low to high" and the one picked said "high to low." So Neal being number 2 was the first to pick from the pile of packages, then came Victoria, then Ethan (he and I had traded numbers) then Jake and finally me. First penalty for E & V for losing their number was they had no shot at being first to choose. and penalty was that their choices were up for stealing by anyone who came after them.

Neal chose the big box and revealed the machine gun. V chose the same. E chose the next size down with the six shooter, and then Jake stole Victoria's gun and she then grabbed the second six shooter. When it was my turn, I stole E's gone, so he ended up with the shotgun. Because I had to go last (it was all in the luck of the draw) I got two extra packages of bullets. Have I lost you yet?

Unfortunately we waited till too late in the day, and it had started to rain, compounded by the complication that since I was in wrap mode and not in the Santa mindset, I had failed to factor in the "batteries required/ not included" aspect of a couple of the guns. So our Christmas day war had to be postponed. I think they did that in the Civil War too, didn't they? Peace for the single day?

The day after Christmas however, the war was on! The family had a blast as we all shot the heck out of each other out in the street in front of our home. Somehow Neal and I naturally fell into team mode and did our best to take on the kids, who hid like children in the garage for a big part of the game. Jake climbed into one of the trashcans for a while (and now I'm thinking... did he shower?) Throughout the course of the battle there we ambushes and gun exchanges. There was treason and treachery and so many laughs. We made memories!

I think we also started a tradition, and whether that tradition is Sunday afternoon Nerf wars (we've already been challenged for a family on family battle with friends) or whether the tradition is me having to come up with more Santa Factor games for our future Christmas afternoons, I am for one just really grateful for me family and for the amazing fun we have together.

And in case you're wondering, Mama totally won the war!

Setting the Temp

2010-12-19T00:23:00.000-08:00

This will forever be the first year without a Santa Claus. It will be the year both little ones were 9 that Christmas is remembered as Santa free.

Tonight as we sat down around the table for Advent I told my kids I wished they still believed. Not because of the magic and joy of childhood fantasy, but because the fact is the the threat of the "naughty list" would really come in handy lately because things are way out of balance in the DePriest family home.

I am wise to the truth that as a mom, it's my choice to be either a thermostat or a thermometer. I have the power to act as the latter, and constantly walk around and react to life around me, with my three precious little sinfully natured blessings, or I have the power to be a thermostat and set the tone of our home. Truth be told, I've been struggling in my own right lately (you can read about it over on the personal blog) so I can't be completely sure if I've been the thermometer, or if I have done a poor job of setting the temp of our home, the hearts on cold and the tempers on hot, but things are, to put it mildly, awry.

The other night, things were so bad, with selfishness, attitude and disrespect aflowing, that I just canceled Advent on account of it. I was so frustrated, because the purpose of sitting down together every night with the idea of anticipating Christmas isn't about being religious. I was really hoping it would be a time of sharing the word and prayer with our kids focusing on the Lord. But the poor fruit that surrounds us reflects that we haven't gotten much past religiosity.

Tonight it was late when I was finally ready to send the kids off to bed, and honestly, I was just going to bypass Advent one more night, figuring we could start fresh tomorrow as it's the beginning of the last week of the season, but my plan was met with protests and pleadings for another chance.

As we sat around the table I asked the kids if they knew why we hadn't done it the past few days. One answered with absolute silence, another talked about busyness and the schedule (which has not been the cause) and the other said quietly, "because we haven't been acting very well, too much fighting and arguing." Ding, ding, ding... give that child a cookie! Or don't, because it was almost time for bed.

So Advent tonight was preceded with a long discussion about attitudes and actions. And I pointed out to my three little sinful blessings, that every one of them has been praised in other places for their kindness and consideration, for their willingness to help, and for their servants' hearts. And then I pointed out how at home, I haven't seen much of it at all, and at times, I've even seen quite the opposite. We need some serious work.

I think they were listening. They didn't like everything they heard. I didn't like everything I had to say, because obviously their dad and I have to bear some of the responsibility of our children's actions. Whether it's been because we have allowed it, or modeled it, or just not followed through on correcting it properly, the kids are the sheep and we are the shepherds, so we need to do something to lead them better.

We talked about breaking it back down to the basics. There's just two rules to follow:

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:37-40

Before the end of the year we're going to have another family meeting and break out the Family Covenant that we all signed and agreed to. Even when we did it, I thought to myself it would be something we ought to revisit each year, possibly even around this time. And now that I'm here, and with the "state of the union" such as it is, there's no doubt about it, we need to revisit who we are as a family.

I told the kids, the bible talks about how Christians are (ought to be) known by their love for one another. And the fact is, lately, I don't think people would guess that about us at all. That makes me sad, and I hope it makes my kids think twice too. I want to be a family that reflects the Light of the World, into the world.

We need some fruit around here. And the fact that fruit only grows forth out of an abiding relationship. And so this thermostat wants to set her temperature first, and hopefully set the temp for the whole household. I want to set my thermostat on Jesus.

The Lord was faithful in timing, as we did a little catch up on our Advent reading together. The final verse listed for us to read for today was perfect for setting the tone of our home, and truthfully for our lives. I leave you with it now.

In your relationships with one another,
have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:5-11

Lord, let us set our hearts on You, in Jesus' name.

Hodgepodge - Just Because

2010-12-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a while and I am supposed to post at least once a week because of my advertising on the page, I am thinking I better do a quick family update.

Ethan and Victoria got terrific report cards. They don't have a very "hands on" mommy when it comes to keeping after them about doing their homework and turning things in, I give my kids full props for decent grades. They both had a 3.43 grade point average. Victoria had 4 A's and 2 B's; and Ethan had 5 A's, 1 B and a C+. And they both got B's in their math classes which THRILLS me because I really hate their math curriculum and I think it's awful and so if they can get a B on their own without me doing all the work to get them through, I say BRAVO!

Jake got a report card too... let's just say, Language Arts is his strong suit. And it's only quarter grades, so check back for that update at semester.

The family has been doing Advent consistently every day together, gathering around the table to talk about Christmas and reading the scriptures together and praying for loved ones. I am actually hoping that doing nearly 30 days of it, maybe we can form a habit of continuing to pray and read scripture together. I like it, even though the kids can be sort of distractable and it is chaotic at times. We'll see, not sure everyone else will sign on.

This is "Christmas Tea" week at my church and it is the first time in 10 years I have had no part in it. Most of me is enjoying the freedom and the break. But Jake is volunteering and he's doing so all 4 nights, and when I drive him there, it makes me miss all the ladies. It's a beautiful event, so this year I am just praying blessing over it. Friday night I am looking forward to going to a tea at my friend's church, she's been coming to mine for over a decade, so it'll be kind of neat to go to hers for the first time.

We turned in an application to be a host family for a Korean student for the months of January and February. We are supposed to find out by Friday whether or not we were chosen. If we are we will have a little boy or girl between 3rd and 8th grade staying in our home from January 1, 2011 through February 25th. Sometimes I wonder if my crazy chaotic family would be god for some poor child far from home, so I have just put it in the Lord's hands and asked him to close the door if it's not His will.

Been fighting with doctors to try to get Neal in to have a sleep test done before the end of the year. His breathing at night has been pretty scary and I'm not sleeping well because I keep waking up to check on him. He's always had night time breathing and snoring issues, but it seems to have gotten much worse very recently. Watching unexpected loss around me has upped my paranoia factor, so I am just trying really hard to get it taken care of. It will be so much better for him not to be exhausted too.

V is going to be 9 on Tuesday. My last baby's last birthday in the single digits. Where did the time go? We kept her celebration low key. I made her choose between church friends and school friends and then I only let her pick 3 to come and spend the night. Last year we tried to blend the 2 groups and it didn't have very good results, too much competition, "She's my best friend." "No, she's MY best friend..." So she chose school and one of the little girls bowed out and can I say V, two friends and Ethan made for plenty of chaos. Ethan wants to have a slumber party for his birthday and I am REALLY glad that decision is at least 2 months away. And if we are a host family, it may be even a little longer.

The year is coming to an end and I have undone all the weight loss progress I had in 2010. I'm still 30 lbs below where I was when I started, which is good, but over the course of 2010 I did a 17 lb drop with a 19 lb gain. VERY disappointed in myself, and I need to get back on track, but the melancholy side of me that dabbles is discouragement and depression has been bouncing around since about June. I don't know how to break that exactly, but I'm working on it.

Christmas is fast approaching. We have not decorated more than with my advent wreath yet, but I have a feeling that may change this weekend. Kids are chomping at the bit. Not much shopping being done this year, but I really need to figure out SOMETHING to buy for my daughter. It doesn't help that she has the birthday too. I have to at least be fair an in line with what I got her brothers, which is challenging and opens that whole can of worms "Does fair mean equal spending or equal number of gifts?" ...the economy of Christmas.

2010 has gone by way too fast and over all in the mood I am in it's hard to point out the high points, but we're still hanging in there and more importantly God is still on His throne. 2011 is in His hands.

The Economy of Christmas

2010-12-01T10:22:00.001-08:00

Christmas is here, that time of year when everyone runs around like crazy looking for the best bargains to buy the loot that will come rolling out from under the Christmas tree. I think of the years when the kids were little when amidst all the chaos and havoc the actual gifts would be lost beneath the torn gift wrap, and I would grow anxious watching for things to get lost or mistakenly thrown away. It's the kids favorite part of the Christmas tradition (being spoiled) and the most anxious part for me (total disorder.)

As this Christmas fast approaches, I am torn by the knowledge that it isn't going to be like that this year. I have guilt over the children's possible impending disappointment with the lack of gifts that will be under the tree, assuming we have a tree, and a sense of relief that I would be caught in the middle of the gluttonous display of materialism.

The fact is, things are just tough all over, and between doing our best to keep our little ones in private Christian school and manage the rising expenses everyone is running across from utilities to bread loaves, money is just simply, tight. And I am surrounded by pressing things, that require financial management, things that must be dealt with, things that can't be dealt with and all the things that fall in the spectrum in between.

Lately I have been keenly aware of things we cannot afford. When you walk out into my front yard, the large tree in the center of it is doing a great deal of damage to our driveway. The roots are growing toward the surface and they've pulled up the cement, it's actually kind of a hazard. Whenever we have company over, if I know it will be after dark, I am always warning them to be careful on the walk up. We can't afford to pay to have the tree cut down. We can't afford to have the roots dug up. We can't afford to get the driveway fixed (which there would be no purpose in doing unless we took the tree out.) I find myself constantly praying about the damage the tree might be doing under the surface that I can't even see, praying protection and blessings over the foundation of my home and my plumbing.

When I walk inside my house my furniture is badly damaged. Our love seat has a huge tear in the seat cushion, and it got bad enough I finally bought a blanket to fold around it when I had all my girlfriends come over last month for a Girls' Night In. It's just been sat in to the point it tore through. The bigger couch has become our cat's favorite scratching post and the back corner of it is getting pretty torn up. The cushions are breaking down from frequent sleepovers and heavy sitters, or multiple sitters. And our recliner is one good push from completely broken, the side panel has been damaged and pulled away from the core by goofy teenage boys horse playing in my living room. Then to top it off, our TV broke this week and it's going to cost a pretty penny to repair it, but it's still much less than it would be to replace it.

My kids are all outgrowing their clothes, well, not the teenager, he seems to have finally leveled off and his clothing lasts a little longer, but my younger two grow like weeds, I can't imagine what it would be like if I fed them well, and it's all I can do to keep them clothed in seasonally appropriate attire. I do have a little guilt about sending them to school in shorts and skirts (the boy and the girl respectively) when it's in the 60's outside, but they are much slower to grow too tall for shorts and skirts than they are when it comes to pants, and they're so hard to clothe in that respect anyway, because when it comes to sizes, their width and length are not compatible to the traditional size settings. As for the teenager, Neal and I, we just do our best to last in the clothing we have for as long as we can, Neal wearing through his work clothes, me borrowing his or Jake's jeans that no longer fit them as my weight goes up and down like a yo-yo. We don't have the finances for shopping for new attire, we just can't afford it.

The biggest "can't afford to fix" that is haunting me right now though is one I alone deal with on a nightly basis. On my side of my and Neal's bed, there is a tear in the fitted sheet. I think the cat (Neal's cat, to be specific) probably started it. It is on my side, and it started at my feet. Initially it was maybe 5-6 inches ling, and if I was careful, I could just avoid it. Slowly though, through rolling in my sleep and shifting in my bed it has continued to grow, it went from being near my toes, to my ankle, to my shin, and then my knee. Last night as I laid in bed, I realized it has gotten to be about 3 feet long now and is all the way up to my thigh. One good twist in my sleep and it's going to just spilt from top to bottom. And I just lay there thinking, I really can't afford to replace a sheet that is probably not even a year old.

Then last night as I lay in my bed, and my anxiety grew and my mind churned with all these expenses, not to mention unpaid doctor bills and credit card debt, and trying to figure out how to manage to buy a tree and buy special food for Christmas dinner, I was very aware of my debt, and the shortcomings in my finances when rather suddenly, I felt reminded of my riches.

The foundation of my home may be unsure, it might even be in danger, but the foundation of my family is not. We built our family on the sure foundation of Christ, and nothing can crack that. "Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock." Luke 6:47-48

At times I consider the tree in my yard to be a daunting enemy, but in fact, the trees that I should be focusing on are us, because the bible says we "shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water." (Psalm 1) I should look at the tree in my yard and remember I am established in Christ, and I have imparted that to my children as well, and as they follow Christ, they too, can stand firm. And as for the plumbing of our family? It's better than copper piping, and it it flows right out of the Lord and into, through and out of our very own hearts. "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:38)

I look at the well worn furniture of my home and I think about all the times we have had those seats filled with young men of God having bible study, and especially all the times we as a family have sat together in there reading the word together, doing devotions and praying, and I remember we have even better seating arrangements made for us because the Bible says, "But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.." Ephesians 2:4-6

Our temporal clothing may not be all I would like it to be, and we may spend a lot of time making do, but suddenly I remember, "I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." (Isaiah 61:10) And I think to myself, who could be better dressed than that? There isn't a single event I wouldn't attend dressed that way, and it will keep me warm and comfy from now to eternity.

And even though at the end of the night my sleep may be disturbed as I catch my foot in the tear, or my leg rubs uncomfortably on the mattress below, I am suddenly focused on the fact that "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8) Because there is rest for my weary soul, because I am the Lord's and He is mine and I have exchanged my yoke for His. (Matthew 11:29)

Suddenly it makes me realize that although there may not be chaos and an abundance of gifts under the tree this Christmas, my family and I are rich with the treasures of heaven. I suspect there may be great joy found in the simplicity of time spent together and enjoying one another and rejoicing in the true meaning of CHRISTmas.

As a family this year we have begun what I hope will become a new CHRISTmas tradition by building an Advent wreath and placing it in the center of our kitchen table.

Every night we come together there to read the scriptures and pray and talk about the Lord. I am hopeful that if not now, someday my children, having forgotten about abundances of barbie dolls and legos will remember time together, sharing, praying, and celebrating the real meaning of Christmas, remembering they are indeed rich in eternal blessings.

Truly it may seem obvious, but that's where our focus should be. I love the Lord, but I know I get easily caught up and distracted by "stuff" and so I think I have decided to realize that the reality is that the "want" and difficulty in our economy as a whole could very well actually be an amazing blessing to those of us who are believers, laying aside the less important to remember and focus upon the true meaning of the holiday.

"And behold,an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”
Luke 2:9-14

Merry Christmas!

To Santa or No

2010-11-27T17:01:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus, who knew such a jolly old soul could become such a controversial figure. It's been my experience in Christianity that he practically tops the list.

The line is firmly drawn, and you don't find many if any standing on it, it seems as though the opinions are strong one way or another, the yeas vs. the nays on the Santa debate.

We have always done Santa at our house. I have been guilted by the best of them about it too, about lying to/ deceiving my children. I have been accused of being un-Christian and read the riot act on more than one occasion.

When Jake was about 5 I got it so bad that I finally relented, and when he asked for the umpteenth time about whether or not Santa was real, I relented and told the little man in the back seat of my car, "No Jake, there's no Santa Claus." And then I watched helplessly in my review mirror as all the innocence and joy of childhood seemed to melt, and he cried his little heart out.

By the time he was 6 Jake had decided to block the conversation out of his mind, and when he was six he full y chose to believe again. Which worked out well, since after I broke his little Christmas heart, I had a whole new line of people ready to give me grief and read me the riot act, right in the very front was my own mom, who thought me terrible to rob my little guy of the joy of Santa on Christmas morning.

I was torn, but I let Jake believe again, because it didn't seem to do much other than harm to disappoint him. When he was little and the only, Santa was all kinds of fun. Santa spoiled. Then one year between Christmases, we went from one child to three and it got to the point that Santa had to reign things in.

So that's when we decided to do things, make Santa a more manageable aspect of Christmas, and figure out a way to make him do a better job of pointing to the TRUE Reason for the Season... you know, the Christ in CHRISTmas. So what we decided to do was have Santa's purpose to be to point to Jesus, in that he brought three gifts to each child, just the way the wise men brought three gifts to Jesus. And we decided to make a much bigger deal about the fact that the reason Santa gave the gifts is because he loves Jesus and wanted to share his love for his Savior with all the children. And since I'm Santa at my house, and I really am celebrating my Savior, it's true.

People still like to make their anti-Santa arguments. Chief among them is the comparison to God. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake." We don't push this aspect at our house, and in fact, we don't tell our kids that Santa can see them at all, but we have been known to warn them that mommy has Santa's cell phone number. But we don't usually use the Santa threat as a reason to be good. We buy more into the "for goodness' sake" mentality, as in, because it's the right thing to do, and that's the kind of people we want to be.

The argument is also made about how if the kids find out Santa isn't real, will they somehow question if God is real. Let me just say, Santa comes up a few times over about a month of the year. God and Jesus on the other hand are mentioned repeatedly, daily, and then some. The emphasis level isn't even close. Santa is a character who visits in our lives, Jesus is THE core of our lives. So I am hard pressed to believe my children will find any sincere comparisons between the two.

The questions have come occasionally over the years about whether or not Santa is real. I don't remember when exactly Jake finally accepted the fact that the jolly old man wasn't riding a sled with reindeer and breaking into our house, but he now at 16 knows the truth and isn't any the worse for the wear. I think he must have been 10 or 11 when he came to terms, but I'm not sure.

Because the lines are so staunchly drawn, it has seemed harder to perpetuate the "magic" with my younger two. We have good friends who always told their kids there was no Santa because they couldn't afford to play the game. There are also those out there who are truly offended by the whole idea of Santa. Ethan had a friend who really went after him for believing in Santa a few years ago when he was about 6. I politely asked his mom just to tell her son not to talk about it to Ethan at all. I think Santa should definitely fall into the realm of "agree to disagree" discussions, but she basically told me I was a horrible mother for deceiving my children and lying to them. And she never let her son play with mine again, and refused to ever speak to me. Wow, all over Santa?

For the record, when my kids ask me, I just avoid answering them. I respond with questions or I change the subject. The movie the "Polar Express" did a lot for the pro-Santa "movement." My kids got the idea that Santa only comes to those who believe, and so when their friends tell them there is no Santa, they actually sort of feel sorry for them.

These last couple years, Santa has been a little harder to swing. Last year Santa brought them each one gift and a few community gifts to round out the "three gift" plan. As I look ahead to this year, things even tighter, the economy even tougher, I have to be honest and say I am ready for the kids to be awakened to the truth. Interestingly, there hasn't even been any discussion about Santa at all, other than warnings from me that even he has been hit hard by the economy.

The little ones will both be nine by Christmas this ear. It's the age when the magic starts to fade. So I can't help but wonder if the lack of discussion is them not really wanting to know, and they're gripping to the fading childhood fun of Santa on Christmas Day, or if more conniving than that they are trying to milk another year or two of the added gifts. This year Santa is all about community gifts, they just don't know it yet, and even what mom can swing will be small. It's going to be a lean Christmas in the gift sense, extended family not planning on giving at all, and Neal and I limited by what we can even manage.

So if ever there was a year for discovering whether or not my kids truly understand what CHRISTmas is about, this may well be the year. I anticipate them making me extremely proud.

Thankful

2010-11-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

Feeling thankful today, which is, I suppose rather appropriate since "the" day to be thankful is just days away.

Money is TIGHT, and the economy scary, but I think the Bible tells us to worry about "tomorrow" tomorrow for a reason.

I am thankful for my job. Although it's not what I would like to be doing with my life, I have a job, and it seems like more and more lately, fewer and fewer people can say that. The mortgage is paid to current, the kids are clothed, even with a couple new jackets as of this weekend, and although the credit card bills are high, we're making the monthly payments. I am thankful those kids of mine need new jackets because they are healthy and growing.

I am thankful to be married to my very best friend in the entire world. I am thankful that whatever challenged we may have to face, we face them together, arm in arm, hand in hand, all tangled up together in love. I know lots of folks who don't feel that way about their hubbies, and it makes me sad.

My kids.

I am thankful that the worst I have to deal with with my Jake is foolishness that won't take him down. Bad grades are not a good thing, but I know he loves the Lord, has a good heart and isn't out doing any of the stupid things his dad and I did at his age. I am thankful that my son, in his own words, thinks me wise, and knows that even when I am tough on him, it's out of love (mostly.)

I am thankful that my E has a tender heart for those who are younger and weaker than he is. And even though he fumbles when trying to speak "sarcasm" his heart is to love (and to be loved). I am thankful that God placed him in my home, so I could learn even more from him than I will ever teach him as his mom.

My sweet V, I am thankful that (so far) she and I have everything I Could want in a mom and daughter relationship. I am thankful that she isn't at all like me, but she likes me, and I like her, and I enjoy her company. I am thankful for these days that she still wants to listen to what I have to say.

I am thankful for the women God has placed in my life. I am thankful that in the sisterhood of the body of Christ I have discovered things I missed by being an only child. I am thankful for the love and laughter we share, all the time. God is good to me in the blessing of the friends He has made an extension of His very love for me.

I am thankful for the knowledge of God that I have, and the wealth of it that still remains to be discovered. I am thankful that in my heart I have come to the knowledge that His word is enough, and if I hold to it tightly and long enough it will eventually prove true, even when the road to that point seems difficult and long, His word is enough.

I am thankful for the gifts God has given me, and for the hope that He will use them more. I am thankful that in my impatience for those things to happen, GOd continues to be patient with me. I am thankful that I can trust Him with His plan and His purpose, even when I'm not feeling it.

I am thankful for hope. I am thankful that my real life is in the heavenlies, and that I am just a sojourner here for a season, and so while I may suffer at times, or struggle, often even, God is with me and continually drawing me closer to my real home. No matter what circumstance I may face here on earth, it is temporary, and so long as I hold to Jesus it is purposeful.

I am thankful that when life is hard, God is still God and God is always good.

I am thaknful that because of Him, I don't have to wait for a Thursday in November to count my blessings, but I can count on His blessings in my life every day.

Living Out Loud, Again

2010-11-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

It is the big project for 3rd grade at Ethan and Victoria's school. And to be honest we really fumbled through it last year when it was Ethan's task to take on. We didn't know what we were doing, and looking it over came out very eclectic and not at all focused. He did a little of this and a little of that. The bottom line was serving the community in some way, sacrificially and keeping record of it, and in the end preparing a presentation.

The root is in a song by Christian artist Steven Curtis Chapman, the lyrics go...

Think about this...try to keep a bird from singing
After it's soared up in the sky
Give the sun a cloudless day and tell it not to shine
Now think about this...if we really have been given
The gift of a life that will never end
And if we have been filled with living hope we're gonna overflow
And if God's love is burning in our hearts we're gonna glow
There's just no way to keep it in

The concept is, we are called to serve, so serve, in love for God and others and to the benefit of another.

E's teacher was more grace, and he soared despite our stumbles. V's teacher on the other hand is, shall we say, more particular. IT had to all be tightly linked. The requirement is a minimum of 4 times service. In V's case it had to all be for the same cause. Fortunately for her, it was her first time doing this project, her mommy had experience, and an idea right off. Then it turned out I had a kind friend with connections to help us find out the best specifics for the process.

First off we worked on fundraising through recycling (which in a way served twice.)

She came to my work and did clean up for recycling.

And she went and picked up cans and bottles at her grandma's house.

And she even sorted through the mess that is our disorganized recycling too.

And we had a truck full of cans and bottles.

And we took them to the local recycling center and made $80.

Then we took the money and went shopping at the 99 Cent Store for her supplies.

Then she came home and made Parent Packs for Children's Hospital Orange County. They're little bags of toiletries for parents who find themselves unprepared in the hospital with their sick or wounded children.

A toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a razor, gum, soap, even a few note cards and a pen, all things you might wish you had but don't when you find yourself in a hospital in an emergency.

Then another day we took more of our funds to the office supply store to buy the makings for posters.

And she made (with a little help from mom) two celebratory posters for kids in the hospital, one for a birthday that might have to be celebrated in an unhappy place, and another a happy last chemo poster as a congratulations for someone whose gotten to the end of their treatments. (And hopefully is enjoying a full recovery.)

And then we headed to CHOC, a place I have found myself with one of my own children unexpectedly several years ago.

I was very proud of my girl that day, and I think she was pretty proud of herself as well. It feels good to serve others.

And we can trust, that even though she may never know exactly who she served, she surely made a difference.

La la la la Live Out Loud

The Crucible

2010-11-11T15:42:00.000-08:00

It's been like a witch hunt around here for weeks. OK, not in some horrendous, soap opera type tale of anybody being mistreated or anything, it's just that Jake was in his first play at his high school. He played Deputy Governor Danforth in The Crucible.

I realize I am likely considered to be a tainted reviewer by the sheer fact I gave birth to one of the major players, took him to acting lessons when he was little (briefly) and have been (at least) co-president of his fan club for a good long time.

The fact is, it was a really good production. They had 4 performances and Neal (the better parent) didn't miss a single one. I saw it twice, both Friday and Saturday evening and I was thoroughly impressed.

I was excited to finally meet Jake's friend Sam (I guess actually, Jacob's friend Sam, since SHE informed me she never heard anyone call him Jake before me.) Until the night of the first performance I got to see, she was just a name from text messages on his phone. The night of the performance though, I found out my eldest son has some talented friends as well. She did an amazing job in the role of Tituba.

The seating of the audience was all set up right on the stage. Only something like 86 chairs there for the viewing and it made for a very intimate performance. You could literally have reached out and touched the cast from the front row. Their performances were powerful, and you felt drawn into the intensity of the story.

All of the actors were impressive. The language of the play is not traditional, or perhaps it is extremely traditional, in that they spoke in the English of colonial days. I was impressed with the way they all handled their lines.

One of my favorite characters was the villianess, Abigail. The girl who played her was in character every moment she was on stage. I found myself watching her even when she wasn't the center of the scene because she did such a good job with her facial expressions, making every nuance and gesture count.

It was obvious all of the kids had worked really hard and prepared really well.

The whole ensemble practically seemed made for their roles. I am certain if I was to read the book now, I would picture each one of them in the role as I read.

I believed each one of them as the character they portrayed, they sucked me deeper and deeper into the story.

I must confess, I had a hard time picturing Jake as a villain. That's how he described himself to me. But after seeing the play, I'm not sure it is how I would describe his character, he wasn't really a bad guy, but his character was strong and deeply intense. (This is not just his mama talking, but..) the moment Jake came on the stage, his presence was powerful, you could hardly take your eyes off of him, he was in fact, bigger than life, and I must say, I didn't even see the littlest bit of my son in the character, Jacob DePriest disappeared, and Danforth was there.

I was blown away by his performance and even found myself having an emotional response to it. My breath caught in my chest as he performed.

I was especially blown away by the scenes between Danforth and the character of John Procter. These two young men could start their professional acting careers today. Sincerely, they blew me away by their performances.

I was caught up in every emotion they portrayed on the stage. I was gripped.

At the end of the night, both nights, and according to my husband all four performances, the kids had a lot to be proud of. Truly, I was extremely sad to see it end. They did an incredible job, and after watching the play, I will always have a special place in my heart for the story.

I'm a little bummed it doesn't sound like Jake plans to participate (or at least act) in the play the school has planned for the spring. Although I can respect his reasons, I have to say, I would just love to see Jacob perform again, because it is definitely part of who he is. It's true for all the amazing young people that were in this play, I would love to see them perform again, and I hope I'll get to, because on The Crucible, they did an AWESOME job!

Halloween 2010

2010-11-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

Riddle: What do Facebook, a housewife and a man who's lost his head all have in common??
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Answer: They're all my kids!

Apparently rumor has it this idea was originated on the TV show the Office, but since that's not a show allowed on the TV screen in our home.. I'll just have to assure you that's not how we came up with it. My oldest (the imaginative one) recommended the idea in theory to my youngest at lunch on Halloween afternoon. And my Ethan (who almost can't be bothered by the dressing up concept went with it. We already had the board and spent 99 cents at the 99 cent store for the rope and voila!

My V was going to just be a hockey player AGAIN... (again, again for like the 3rd year in a row, because this mom doesn't do the whole expensive costume thing, let's face it, things are tough all over, and costumes definitely falls in the "expendable" category for this mama... But when conversation turned to originality for Ethan, Victoria peaked her interest in a change. I threw out this idea (an old standby from my younger days) and she went for it. She had the robe and the baby, I put make up on her to make it fun and we spent 99 cents 3 times at the 99 Cent store for the curlers, the rubber gloves and the pretty pink duster (which has now found a second life as a cat toy..) and voila, 2 costumes for less than $4.

Then came down to the dramatic one, who lives for dressing up, and it doesn't just have to be on Halloween the boy has the drama pulsing through his veins. Which isn't so bad this day and age... moms and dads are probably telling kids who want to grow up and be practical things like doctors and lawyers to take drama classes so they can have an acting career to fall back on, you know what I mean? But I digress. Jake has been responsible for his own costumes for a good long time, and as you can see, he's got a knack for it. The headless horseman he is. Now I will say he either scrounged up the money or worked over his dad to buy the pumpkin for the costume. I on the other hand stood my ground against any personal investment in his process.... that is until he finally wore me down on buying him the cape which marked at $10 we bought for 25% off. So I guess I can't complain about the costume process since all in all we spent less than $14. total.

I will say though that the gang headed off to the Harvest Fest at our church just before 5 pm. By the time I got there at 7:30, no one was even wearing a costume anymore. V's rollers were in her candy bag. Ethan's board was on a picnic table abandoned and Jake's entire costume had been abandoned to Neal's truck.

So anyway now you know why I won't spend the money....

The Hardest Part

2010-10-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

I spent some time this weekend with a couple of my favorite ladies. It was time away with godly friends, just the three of us.

We spent all kinds of time talking about all kinds of things. But often the subject would bring itself back around to the challenges of parenting.

We are moms at three different stages, I have a teen and a pair of tweens, one of my friends has an oldest who is a tween, and my youngest's friend, and another who is just about completely exited from his toddler years but not quite to school age yet, so I guess, the right term is pre-schooler. And my other friend is a grandma, her children rage from just a touch younger than I am (she started having her kids really young) and her youngest is young enough he feels significantly younger to me, and she has three grandkids, one who is fast approaching the end of her tween years, a preschooler my friend's son's age and a granddaughter who I think is still just under the wire of toddlerhood. Needless to say, we had lots of stories to tell, and lots to talk about!

We laughed, we lamented, there was expression of regrets (a lot of that was mine) and we shared stories of success and tales of trial and error.

At the end of it all, what we decided, is being a parent is just about the toughest job on earth. And what I figured out, is the hardest part of the job, is being diligent in doing it.

The fact of the matter is, there's no sure fire recipe to parenting, training or discipline. You raise more than one child, you have to figure out more than one way to do things. I remember Bill Cosby's old joke about how if you were only parenting one, it wasn't really parenting at all.

Now, because I AM an only child and because I was the mom to an only for 7 years, let me give a shout out to all the uni-moms I know, and say, I know the work is hard, particularly in the area of activity and entertainment. I remember the long afternoons where I would get little or nothing done around the house because of the cries of "mommy play with me" from a bored toddler. And I remember the days of intense guilt when I shunned those very same cries, or worse I let the television baby-sit so I could get something done, or even just have a moment to myself. I know the job is tough, and to all those moms of many out there (and believe me, two qualifies as many) if you never stayed a uni-mom long enough to feel these pains, I rebuke your comments to the uni-moms telling them they have it easy.

However, I can say there are many challenges I faced once the (Irish) terror twins hit the scene that I never faced with just Jake.

I never had to play referee. If I had had to yell in to the back seat to Jake about not hitting, let's face it, I would have a much deeper problem on my hands. Thankfully, he never did get caught slapping himself. And the referee role expands far beyond the backseat of the car, some days I think "knock it off" and "be nice" are the only two phrases I have spoken to my children.

I never had to wonder. If something was used up, broken or missing, I never had to wonder who did it. The mystery was always solved in the question.

On top of that is the multiplication factor of every other ordinary task. Bathing, for example, one was far simpler than bathing three, especially once they got too big to throw in a tub in multiples. Yes, they do (and in my case have) gotten big enough to bathe themselves, but it's still a process, did they go in, were they in long enough, did they remember to use the soap? The list is long. The same goes for making lunches, doing homework, monitoring chores, the more you have, the more work you have.

I have hear rumors that the hardest jumps in quantity of kids is from 2 to 3 and then it doesn't get tough again until you jump from 6 to 7, but I for one will never know, because the pain of two to three was enough to cure me of ever considering four. (It didn't help that I jumped from 2 to 3 only 10 months after jumping from 1 to 2, but still.) And I have been known to tell my husband on many, many occasion, that the sexiest thing about him is that he can't get me pregnant again. God bless the doctor who invented the snip-snip, just sayin'.

But I have to say, the biggest shock for me was the fact that there is no getting a handle on this parenting thing. Even if you find yourself in a decent groove with your first, the fact is when number 2 comes along, his personality is going to be different, and those little gems of discipline and reward that set you on a smooth path with one, will often (dare I say always) fall short with the kids coming up behind.

Of course I never found a groove like that anyway. My oldest was the kind of kid (is the kind of kid) who is actually just quite happy in his own head. If I sent him to his room, he didn't care. If I set him in a corner, he didn't care. Spankings, TV restrictions, chore consequences - none of these disciplines were effective. It wasn't until he reached the teen years with cell phones and Facebook that I actually found a restriction that had some small effect on him, but even those, not much. He was just that easy going (and despite popular rumor, he was NOT a child who never needed discipline.)

Then there was my 2nd one, who to one degree or another, just about any discipline worked for, for a short time. He hates to be alone, hates to be in the corner, hates to have TV taken away, hates to be spanked (though I have to say that one never came up as much with #2 and #3 because it just never worked all that well for me, but I am not anti-spanking.)

Then the girl came along, and though if one of her brothers actually bumped her in the hallway she would fall to the ground in tears in a performance worthy of an Oscar, if you spanked her, she'd stare you down with a steely grin as if to say "that didn't even hurt" without shedding a single tear. But she could care less about banishment to the bedroom because like her oldest brother, she could in fact find her happy place in the solitude of her own head. Of course I don't know if this relates back to my husband's hard core, "nothing phases, go with the flow personality" or the fact as an only child myself I could spend hours entertaining myself playing with a wet strand of hair on the bathroom tile wall.

Sometimes you will find a tiny gem that works for everyone, for example if you are guilty of touching a siibling in the back seat of the car, then you have to "hold your nose." This fine tool also comes in quite handy for those kids who can't keep their hands off the shelves in a store. Not one of them likes walking through Ralph's with their fingers on their noses and their elbows out at their shoulder height. And for the record, catch me on the right day, and even the 16 year old hasn't outgrown this consequence.

But the fact is, when the Bible says, "train up a child in the way he should go..." it wasn't just talking about in the way of the Lord, but it was talking about training them according to their own bent, strengths, weaknesses, personality, mentality and more. It's a full time job, and one where the job description can change on a dime.

My youngest 2 are only 10 months apart, so even though my daughter is following right behind her brother in ages and stages, teaching and training them is not the same, aside from their gender difference, they are completely different in every other way as well.

So having more than one child means life is one giant science experiment. Everything is test and try, alter and reapply. It is an unending exercise of "how about this?"

But even with all this taken into consideration, I think, for me at least, the hardest part of parenting is the diligence it requires. Even once you find a suitable method, or training, rewarding, disciplining, even yes, (gulp) punishing at times, it only works when you are diligent in your implementation. If restricting Jake from the computer works, it only works when you remember he's on restriction. (And yes, even a "good kid" will capitalize on a mom's bad memory.) If moving bad time up is an effective consequence, it doesn't work when you remember it half an hour AFTER they were supposed to go to bed.

Diligence. I think it is the KEY to solid parenting, and in the same vein it is without a doubt, the hardest part. Even when I was home full time, with three kids it was a challenge to keep straight everything that had to be kept straight (activities, appointments, homework assignments, school projects) and this is coming from a mom who is not one of those crazy women (you know who you are) who has each of her kids booked in three different activities) I limit each of my three to only one extracurricular and still my list of "needs, wants and have to's" for my children is long.

Yet, there's no shirking the responsibility, it's part of the job description we signed up for when we decided to become parents. It's the gig, and it lasts for a minimum of 18 years per child. So some of you whose husbands aren't as sexy as mine could be trying to work this out for forty years, if I (or my children) are all on best behavior, I have a shot at my sentence ending at 25 years (from the oldest's birth to the youngest's 18th birthday.) I'm just grateful I started in my early twenties. At least then the sentence may be commuted from hard labor to a slightly easier time, or so I can hope.

Seriously, being a mom is the best job in the world, and I adore my kids, but they not only make life fun and interesting, they make it a lot of hard work, and create a lot of questions with no easy answers. I do know there is real value in this diligence concept, but the problem is, I'm not totally sure on where to apply it and I have a minimum of 9 more years working it out daily. Wish me luck... or maybe you better wish the kids luck... I don't know, I think I'm just going to pray for us all.

Little Audiences

2010-10-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

I think the hardest part about parenting is realizing that EVERY decision you make in life has an effect on the child/ children you have been given the privilege/ responsibility/ job/ honor or raising.

There are no secondary decisions when you are a parent. Because in the end, it all comes back to your kids. It affects them, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly, but everything we do when we are parents has to be done in consideration of our children.

Now let me be clear, I am by NO MEANS saying it's all ABOUT our kids, far from it. I do not believe the kids are the center of the family or the universe, as so many seem to mistakenly hold to. I think marriages are struggling right and left because the needs of the children supersedes the needs of the marriage on a consistent basis. It's a secret toxin undermining the health of the family. Someday the kids will leave, and when they do, the marriage will remain. If the marriage has been neglected for 18-25 years while the kids are being raised, it's usually so weak by the end of that time that it's not able to survive long after the "life support" of raising kids together has ended.

So oddly enough, in the end, the most important decision to be made about a marriage, that directly affects the kids, is, not to make the marriage about the children. It doesn't work.

And yet still, we have to find the balance, because in every decision we make once we are parents (not just make as parents) we have to give consideration to our kids.

The things we do, the things we don't do, the things we overlook, the things we feel we must respond to, all of these things are taken in by our kids. The old adage goes, "More is caught than taught," and it's true.

When you decide to become a parent, you decide to live ALL of life before a little audience. If you lose your temper, they will be watching. If you choose to be deceptive, they will be watching. If you choose love over anger, they will be watching. If you choose bitterness over forgiveness they will be watching, law over grace, grace over the law - every decision, every choice, every action, they will be watching.

I'm kind of exhausted just thinking about it.

It gets hard sometimes.

So it occurs to me, how do you choose rightly to live your life before a little audience? I mean, none of us will do it without error. All our children, in the end, will have caught things that we never would have intentionally taught them. So how do you work that out?

Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.
Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.
Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
1 Timothy 4:11-16

That's all I've got. That scripture is the best wisdom I can find when it comes to parenting. In effort to live my life knowing I have a little audience that is always watching, always affected by my choices, as a Christian mom, it all comes down to really living my life for an audience of One.

If only that were as easy as it sounds. At least it's a place to start.

The Flu Bug Shuffle

2010-10-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Last year it hit us hard and early and nobody was able to get a flu shot because no one was ever healthy enough when they were available.

Well, it's hit again this year too. You wait every year, and October always seems to be the big month for the DePriest family.

At the end of last week I got hit with a bad cold. It started Thursday with lots of sneezing, like incessant runs of sneezes, and then the came the runny nose, then the stuffy nose... Friday I went through an entire box of tissues by myself, using one tissue at a time. Saturday things were drying up, but also stuffing up and Saturday night I even ran a low grade fever.

By Sunday morning I felt a little closer to human and made it to church, but the outing wiped me out and I spent most of the afternoon napping. I also took note of two new sneezers in the house, Victoria and Neal and sent him out for zinc lozenges and got them started on them right away. Since I seemed to be on the downward slope, I left the medication to them. Last night I went to bed with my two biggest complaints being that I was tired, and that my nose seems to be coming off my face in tiny painful dry flakes.

Last night felt like the first decent night's sleep in several days. So I wasn't very happy when I was awakened 2 hours before the alarm went off by screaming and crying. Since my "baby" is almost 9, this doesn't really happen much at our house these days, and can I just say? I don't miss it!

This wasn't the baby though, just the baby boy (who is 9) and he was wigging out. Poor kid. He said he felt like someone was squeezing his insides so tight and it hurt desperately.

Now as stomach bugs go, the child least likely to catch one is my little E. He has the reputation of the iron stomach, and I can count on my hands how many times he has actually thrown up (which is actually kind of interesting since he was the biggest one to spit up as a baby... maybe he used up all the turns.)

Now my daughter is the most likely to catch a stomach bug and she is a pro, almost never misses a receptacle (unless it's in the car. if it's in the car, forget about it... bad news) but at home she's a pro, since she was pretty little she would just take care of it herself and not even wake me up. Truthfully, I hope the idea of bulimia never occurs to her because she would be a pro.

E on the other hand is definitely not a pro. and so he (much like his older brother) is an exploder with no real aim. And at 5 am this morning, let's just say he missed... big time. But the good thing about the iron stomach is it usually only takes one good explosion and the storm passes (UNlike his big brother.) And sure enough he rested most of the day and started to run a low grade fever.

At lunch time I got a call to pick up the pro, she hadn't gotten sick, but she felt bad. I'd been watching for cold, she was predicting flu, with a not quite legitimate fever, they sent her home. Where she spent the afternoon acting and feeling absolutely fine.

So update, E is definitely sick with a flu bug. Neal is definitely sick with a bad cold and a sore throat. V is questionable, Jake is a little tired and I think I am on the mend.

Wednesday through Friday Neal and I have three days off work for the first time in like two years. We have an appointment to go get massages together on Thursday to celebrate his birthday (which is Wednesday) but now I don't know if we should plan on going, because if I don't cancel 24 hours before, I have to pay even if we don't go. And if anyone is home sick, we can't go. So begins the flu bug shuffle.

It's the big bummer of being mom. One gets a flu and for weeks you wait and watch to see who may catch it next. Sometimes you get off lucky (though rarely) and it hits one and passes by the rest. Other times you get hard and it even makes multiple rounds. Once we had a flu that kept me home either sick or caring for the sick for an entire 6 weeks. I felt like I didn't leave the house for the bulk of spring. (October and March are the big bug months around here.)

So I am sad to see with a new school year, the new dance begins. The flu bug shuffle, where I actually try to pretend like I know what the heck I'm doing just to muddle through the days, weeks, months of never having a clue of what might hit us next, when and how hard.

Happy Fall! (NOT!)

Mom's Watching

2010-10-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

As I was checking my children's grades online today, it occurred to me, kids today sure have it tougher than we did.

I remember in my day waiting for progress reports to come home. I remember staking out the mailbox waiting to catch it so my parents wouldn't see it. I mean back in my day you only got a progress report if you had a bad grade. No progress report, then as far as my parents knew, there was no problem.

If you beat them to the mailbox and were able to dispose of the bad news before they got to it, it meant you had the rest of the quarter to get your grade up... or to perfect your skills at turning a D or an F into B through the carbon envelope. It took a great deal of skill to line it up perfectly, and then to actually make a penciled "B" look like the typed ones. You had to be smooth too, because you might have to adjust your other B's to make them look more uniform, it was a lot of pressure.

But my children will never have to perfect that skill, because the fact of the matter is, I can check their grades on a daily basis. (And for that matter, I do.) And I will know about every missed homework assignment, every low test score, I see it all.

I had weeks to play with. My kids don't even get hours. Some days, I know what their grades are before they do. It's rough.

And I love it. I love that they can't wander down the road of foolishness nearly as far as I did. Because the fact of the matter is, eventually it always catches up with you. And the further you wander down the path, the longer and harder the hike back up the road to where you ought to be.

In reality, I do think life is much tougher these days for kids than it was when I was growing up. The assault on their senses and sensibilities is rough. Everything in and around them is bent on robbing them of their innocence, hurrying them into adulthood, and a corrupted version of it no less.

I sincerely wish there were tools as handy in monitoring the rest of their lives as there is in monitoring their school work and their grades, not for my benefit, but for theirs.

A Letter to My Children

2010-09-29T09:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Jacob, Ethan and Victoria,
(And my honorary and spiritual children too...)

I feel compelled today to tell you about a specific prayer I have always prayed for you. As your mom there are many prayers that I pray, for your safety, for your peace, for your strength and comfort. Each of these I pray as need arises, or even on a daily basis, but none of them have ever been the greatest burden on my heart for you.

The prayer that has always been the cry of my heart to God, is simply this, "Lord, keep my children on a short leash."

It is a prayer that God has faithfully answered, and one I hope you will realize and understand, I will never stop praying for you - ever.

It is this prayer that God answers faithfully that is the reason I know from three rooms away which one of you is getting into the refrigerator without even looking when I have told you no snacks before dinner.

It is this prayer that God has answered when hours after I think you have gone to sleep as I walk down the hall the Lord quickens my heart to open your door and I find you texting after midnight, or playing in your bed when you have school the next day.

This is the prayer that is answered when you look me straight in the eye and lie to me, and I am able to stare you back down until you confess it, because no matter how hard you try to give your best act of deception, I just know.

Your mother is neither brilliant, nor psychic (nor psycho for that matter) but she is absolutely, positively not seeking to mother you on her own or even in her own power alone. It is the Holy Spirit who had offered to give me wisdom and revelation if I ask for it. And children, it is imperative that you know, I am asking.

You have had times when you have done wrong in my absence and found conviction in my presence and confessed without even being asked. I need you to know, God is FOR keeping you on that short leash. When that happens, it is an answer to that prayer.

When I look at your phone bill for the first time and find 100s of text messages in a single day the day before, it is because God has pulled at that leash to catch my attention, because neither one of us wants you to wander far down the path of broken rules and disobedience.

When you ask me "What time at night am I supposed to stop using the phone?" And I start to answer 10 the time you've been told, and the Holy Spirit quickens me to say 9 instead, and your reply is, "I thought it was 10?" and the Lord confirms you KNEW you were not supposed to be on the phone at 11 - that's an answer to that prayer. God is keeping your leash short.

When suddenly the school shirts you and your sibling share have missing tags, and I come to you and KNOW you cut them out of the other's shirts because you were tired of getting held accountable for misplacing your own... God is answering my prayer for the short leash through revelation that is not of my own knowledge.

I know it offends you at times that I do not trust you, and you're right, I don't. The Bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?." (Jeremiah 17:9) But you, my children, are followers of Jesus Christ, and this truth does not excuse from the expectation of honesty in our home.

"Commit your works to the LORD, and your thoughts will be established." Proverbs 16:3. Each of you has asked Christ into your heart, and it means you have willingly risen the standard for yourself, and to your age and understanding, it is expected that you will live to that standard, because it is right.

I do not expect perfection from you. As one of you loves to quote to me, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23) You are right, we all do.

Let me share a new passage with you, "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." Romans 6:1-4 Grace is not cheap my loves.

This is no easy job for me. I know there are days when you will hate me for being the harsh taskmaster, the unrelenting one. It isn't fun for me, but I have such a burden in my heart for you to live in the light, to walk in the light, to walk in truth.

If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:6-8 THIS is my greatest prayer for you...

And for that prayer to be answered, I know in my heart that today I must pray that God keeps your leash short.

Someday you see, I will not have my hand on your leash at all. It will not be my job to correct or guide you. Someday I will be lucky if I am able to maintain the role of consultant in your life, and I know that. But for now, in this season, I am holding to the leash, and the Holy Spirit stands behind me.

I am here to be the louder voice of your conscience, until your convictions grown stronger than your desires.

I am here to hold the leash and be your compass until you grow strong enough to maintain your bearings, even in rough "terrain" and windy "weather."

I am here to be a voice of truth until your grow sensitive enough to hear the Holy Spirit clearly on your own.

I may not catch every tug at the leash. There may be times when you wander further down the wrong road than I would prefer and I may not see all your sin. But make no mistake, I know the One who is truly holding the other end of your leash has a firm grip, and loves you far more than I can even comprehend, and He will see every tug you make the wrong way, and you will never slip anything past Him.

And He will never willingly let you slip far from Him.

So next time you wonder to yourself, "How did mom know that?" or "Why don't I ever get away with that?" Be very confident of this one thing, I have prayed and asked the Lord to keep you on the shortest of leashes, for your good, and for His glory, and He has heard my prayer, and He is answering it.

Love you much,
Mom.

Movie Review - Secretariat

2010-09-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I got an email from blogher (the blogging network I belong to) saying that Disney wanted to invite bloggers to come and see a sneak preview of their new movie coming out October 8, Secretariat.

I clicked on the link and checked out the dates and pondered the idea. The best location wasn't on the best day. It would mean giving up a night at church. It's sort of a family rule that we never miss church (barfing or bleeding is our motto, anything else we're there.) But we have made the very rare and occasional exception. The invitation was for two tickets, but it also said I could request more, so I decided to give it a shot and see if I could get tickets for the whole family. If we could, then this was going to be one of those rare exceptions.

About a week ago, I got the email letting me know there would be five tickets waiting under my name on the guest list at the AMC theater at Downtown Disney on Wednesday September 22.

So yesterday I left work early so I could come home before picking up the kids from school and get dinner on the table. I have been doing a "cook a day for a week" plan for the last 2 weeks and Sunday night I made my "famous" stuffed shells for dinner. After I picked up the kids I brought them home and got them started on their homework and made a quick run to the store.

When I got home I put the final touches on dinner before my honorary son showed up (he didn't want to miss the famous shells) and then my hubby walked through the door. He had just enough time to get a shower and then dinner was on the table. Then we dropped Trevor off at church and the family headed to the show.

When we got to the theater the line was already pretty long. I asked the guy at the ticket booth if it was the line for the preview and he said it was, so I made my way to the back of the line with my family. My email had said to find the Disney representative, so I was a little anxious about being in the back of the line, especially when I saw all the other people had tickets in their hands.

Eventually I went up and found the Disney rep standing inside the front of the theater and I approached her. She was holding the very short guest list in her hand. When we found me on it it only listed me for two guests, but I showed her my email that listed 5 and it was problem free, she told me to nonchalantly go round up my people, so I did and we were let into the theater quickly and even had invitation to sit in the reserved seating. She stamped our hands and we headed in.

We were sternly warned no cameras were allowed and we weren't even allowed to have our cell phones on inside the theater. My ideal three rows were the rows tied off and we sat in the perfect center of the row. Truthfully, I couldn't have been happier with our seats, and I think the kids especially enjoyed watching all the other people who came in be told they couldn't sit in the reserved rows. The kids felt special.

We made our necessary bathroom stops and got a couple drinks for the family to share and settled in and waited for the movie to start.

From the moment the movie began with the voice of Diane Lane reading from the book of Job in the Bible, I was drawn into the movie.

It's an especially rare treat when you can go and see a great true story and find yourself drawn in with suspense and excitement even when you know how the movie ends before it even begins. Apollo 13 has always been one of my favorite movies like that because even though I knew the story from history, I was still drawn in and entertained for the entirety of the movie.

Secretariat was even more enthralling and exciting than Apollo 13. I don't know if we were in the midst of a particularly animated audience or not, but the movie was so exciting. I found myself cheering and clapping out loud along with the rest of the crowd, both on the screen and in the theater.

I was so pleased with the movie, I can't even begin to express. The story is of course amazing, and getting to watch the deeper details than were shared in history books was very interesting. The acting was excellent. Both Diane Lane and John Malkovich proved themselves again to be incredible actors. And I am so happy to say the movie was clean! The only possibly questionable dialogue was spoken in french, and since neither I nor my kids speak french, if it actually did turn out to be questionable, I'll never know.

The race scenes were exciting, the horses beautiful, the story wonderfully told. My husband and I loved it, and so did all three of our kids, ages 8, 9 and 16. It truly was a wonderful family move and great entertainment. I can honestly recommend this movie with full assurance you will enjoy it and be greatly entertained. It is a "DON'T MISS" endorsementm and I think it is definitely a movie that needs to be seen on the big screen. So I encourage you all, this October, don't miss it, go see Secretariat! It will be worth the price of admission!

Cancer Sucks

2010-09-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am running this post simultaneously here along with my personal blog My Walk of Faith because I think it's such an important matter.
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Cancer Sucks

I hate cancer. It is an unbiased evil that will attack and seek to destroy anyone. It has attacked my aunt and my grandmother. It killed my great-grandma, and took my grandpa away from me. The process of battling it weakened my mom-in-law's heart to the point we lost her too. It's ugly and it's awful.

Right now if I think about it, I know of a little girl not much older than my Victoria who has been battling brain cancer for years. I get regular email updates about a horrible difficult battle this little girl faces and so Victoria and I pray for her.

I have a friend who I knew in high school but connected and built a friendship in the last year or so on Facebook. She's my age, just 40, and she had to have a huge cancerous tumor removed and she is still fighting for the victory over the disease.

This summer, two amazing women of God that I know both lost their battles to cancer. The first was a woman I have known for many years, she was the mom to one of the "kids" in youth group when Neal and I worked in the ministry back in the 90s. She lost her second battle to cancer. A breast cancer survivor from many years ago, she was struck with the disease a 2nd time a couple of years ago. Her battle was long and painful, and she fought to the end, but in the end, cancer ended her life.

The second lady, Becky, was spared the long battle, but was also not afforded the luxury of time. More importantly, he friends and loved ones were not afforded time. It was too quick.

I don't know exactly how long ago I met Becky, I would say two years ago at the longest, but I think even more recent than that. Becky and her sister Debbie were the kind of people that when you met them, you just knew you wanted to get to know them better.

Their love for God, and their passion for ministry and prayer were infectious. Debbie struck me as the nurturer, the one who would hug you and cry with you and Becky seemed liked the Sword bearer. She was a woman of the Word, and she would speak it with authority, not only to you, but into you and your life. They were this amazing team. They have been best friends for along time, and somewhere along the line, in her adult life, Debbie was formally adopted by Becky's family. Single moms, they loved together since the early 80s raising their children together. They were prayer partners, ministry partners and even business partners, sisters in every sense of the word.

I saw them in the parking lot of my church back in June. Becky hadn't been feeling well and had had some medical issues going on, but the reality of what was happening to her was completely hidden at that time. I'll let Debbie tell you more specifics:

"Becky really struggled with feeling tired alot for a long time but since we both have been going through menopause we just thought that was what it was from. We both went to a holistic doctor/chiropractor and were given different supplements and patches but they didn't seem to work for her. In March she complained of her back hurting and was in pain but thought she was out of alignment. We went to the holistic guy and he diagnosed her with kidney stones. She started drinking alot of water which made the pain worse. Our brother told her of a kidney stone breaker called Renevive. We ordered it off the internet and she started taking that. She took that for 3 weeks and was in such pain all the time, but (she) did pass some kidney stones.

We then heard of another kidney stone breaker called Chanca Piedra and (so) she took that. That also broke up the stones and she did pass more. (But) it seemed the pain never gave up. She also started having stomach problems and couldn't eat and had pain with that. The holistic guy said she had an ulcer. (So) he treated her for that and she seemed to get worse.

This went on into July. After July 4th she started to fill up with fluid in her stomach area. On July 15th we went to an MD. He had a hunch it may be cancer. He ordered tests and by the 23rd we were in St Joesph's ER and (found) she had a lesion on the pancreas and her liver was "compromised". She was in the hospital for 5 days and although they drained the fluid from her stomach and it tested negative of any cancer cells they suggested more tests. We went to visit the doctor in the doctor's office and they gave a number to a doctor who would do a biopsy. That appointment was 2 weeks out from that day that Becky called for an appointment." (I will refrain from climbing on a soap box here about where medical care will be headed when the government takes it over. Diana)

"In the meantime we were referred to a (doctor in) Virginia Beach who works with cancer patients naturally. He worked with Becky but she just could not eat and I believe her body just couldn't fight because it was malnourished. Her sodium level dropped so much that she could not (even) get up on her own... I had to help her. She (also) wasn't getting much sleep and always took the pain pills which was not like Becky.

On Sunday morning August 15th Becky tried to get up to go to the bathroom without me and I heard a thud and found her flat on her face on the floor. It took me 30 minutes to get her up because she was so limp. All I did was hold her and cry.
I called our brother and he came and helped me take her to the ER at St Joesph's. She was in the ICU for 2 days and met with kidney doctors, the doc who wanted to do the biopsy and the cancer doctor."

Eventually the diagnosis was made, it was pancreatic cancer. As cruel as all cancer seems to be, this cancer seems to be the most cruel of all, it's labeled as a death sentence, the stories of victory over it are rare. It took Michael Landon, it took Patrick Swayze, and then it took Becky Bailey, and for me, that was one person too many, and it's made me want to do something about it.

On November 13th, along with Becky's sister Debbie, and 23 other people she hopes to recruit, we will be walking in a 5K fundraiser to raise money for research for a cure for pancreatic cancer and money to help those suffering from the disease. This is where you come in.

Would you be willing to support me or the team as we raise money? My challenge to my friends and family, and now to you is this, skip a trip or two to Starbucks, or a lunch out, and take that $5-10 (or however much you might have on your heart) and donate it to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

I set an original goal of just $100, but with it met, I have now raised it to $300, and you can help me reach that goal. But I have to warn you, if I do, I plan to up it again.

This is a horrible awful disease, and I want to be part of the fight against it. Won't you help?

Click below or on the "thermometer" to the left on this page, and make a donation to help.

Click Here to Donate

Thanks in advance for your help!

God is Awesome

2010-09-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

So, it was an incredible week around here, and God has been busy, growing me, and growing my faith. (Read more here.)

I know God's doing a good work when I can keep my cool under pressure. When it happens twice in one weekend, it's downright miraculous!

Yesterday on the way to the Angel game we stopped at 7-Eleven for sodas. As we were leaving, Neal realized his cell phone was missing. We were not sure if he left it in the seat of my unlocked car or laid it down inside as he got his drink or what, the only thing we were sure of was it was gone.

I called the cell, but no answer. Called it again. We searched the car, the store, everywhere. It was gone. Neal told Jake to call it (his ring tone for Jake is louder) but then it went straight to voice mail. That meant someone had it, and now they had turned it off.

Understandably, Neal was infuriated. I sent a last text. "return the phone, we'll pay a reward." And then I called the cell company to suspend the account and I prayed. I never lost my cool, soooooo not like me, but I remained cool. It had been a great day up to that point, I had gotten a huge goal accomplished (made dinners for the whole week that afternoon) been to a sweet funeral to honor a dear departed saint, and I felt completely calm in the midst of this big inconvenience, Neal's expensive phone being gone. I threw up a prayer, and my mind considered how to rectify the problem.

After we'd been at the game about 20 minutes, my cell phone rang. The father of the man who found Neal's phone was calling, and wanted to make arrangements to return it! by 9:30 that night we'd picked up the phone and only paid a $10 thank you to the man. Whether he had taken it or found it or whatever, what a blessing to have the whole problem resolved within a couple of hours and only $10 down.

Today I was still feeling the "glow" of God's goodness at church. It was the best service for me in a long time.

We had come in separate cars and I was taking Jake home and the little kids were going with Neal. As I was getting ready to pull out my younger two came running up to my window, as I rolled it down they told me Neal's car wasn't working.

I drove over next to Neal and sure enough, every time he would let the car idle it would completely die. It wasn't running rough or not turning over, it just would not idle. So Neal dove it home by throwing it into neutral at every stop and revving the engine, I followed him home.

Neal wasn't a happy camper. We came home and he had a light lunch and then we went out to look at it. We opened the hood. My wisest assessment was that his engine looked dirty. He showed me he knew where the air filter was, but we didn't actually open it up or anything. He said he wanted to move the truck into the street in the shade.

I had a sudden rush of faith. As he sat in the front seat and I stood outside near the front wheel well, I laid my hand on the truck and prayed. I said, "Lord, I know You know, we cannot afford this right now and don't need the hassle of car trouble. You are the Great Physician and can heal, so I totally know you can be the Great Mechanic and fix this car, so I pray You would, in Jesus' name." And Neal and I both said "amen."

Then Neal turned over the engine, and it died. I said, "or not." And Neal backed the truck into the street, but this time it idled, it didn't die. So he drove it down the street, it didn't die. So then he took it around the block, and it didn't die.

While I waited for him to come back I laughed with the Lord in the driveway. Honestly, call me crazy, but I think the Lord was showing me how big He is, even in the little things of my life. Neal came back and it didn't die.

It didn't die when we drove to friends for dinner, and it didn't die when we drove home. It didn't die when Jake and Neal ran to Wal-mart and back for dog food either. It seems the Great Mechanic fixed the problem. God is good. God is awesome.

Call me crazy if you will, but the truck is running.

Under Our Belt

2010-09-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

It wasn't a full week, but it was our first week of 3rd and 4th grade for Ethan and Victoria.

After I picked them up on their first day, Victoria said, "I really like my teacher mom, and I am looking forward to going back tomorrow.

Ethan's quote was, "Mom, I think this year is going to be even better than last year." He likes his teacher and he likes all the kids in his class. Coming from the most critical of all my kids, this is a very promising statement.

The rest of the week went as well. Ethan had one day where he had actually moved UP on the behavior chart for behaving exceptionally well. V never hit "peachy perfect" in her class, but it is something we can all aspire to.

They each only had one day where they had moved their "clips" down for a warning about behavior. And both of them were guilty of talking. I guess I have to give a little grace, they are my kids after all.

Ethan's got his eye on a point prize to take himself and 3 of his friends (says he'll include his sister) for an off campus lunch with his teacher. He has to earn 300 good behavior points, but on his successful purple day he came home with a 5 point day. Honestly I don't get the whole thing yet (Back to School Night will surely help clarify things) but I see him working hard, striving to be responsible, and hey, he's doing math in the process!

Victoria's teacher seems shy. A friend of mine who had a child in her class last year said she is with the parents, but each day I pick up V I ask her, "Good day?" and she hugs her clipboard a little more tightly and nods her head and gives me a thumbs up. Can't ask for more than that.

So, so far, thumbs up all around. Jake starts school on Tuesday, let's hope he comes home that afternoon with as promising a report.

Ethan 4th grade, Victoria 3rd grade.
1st Day August 31, 2010